WTF: McCain wants to put Jesus on the $1 bill

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Jesus may soon adorn the dollar if loopy John McCain has his way

Jesus on the dollar?  As I said in an earlier post, the Republicans are pandering to their base, and wanting to turn America into a theocracy.  I will admit, however, that despite the Sarah Palin pick, I was a little surprised by this latest ridiculous suggestion of putting the face of Jesus on our money.  I suspect that he is being disingenuous, with his real motive being to put President Obama in a difficult position.

jesus on the dollar, john mccain on the dollar

I doubt that Obama’s liberal base would want to see Mr. Christ on America’s money, anymore than they want to see Ronald Reagan’s mug everywhere.  The fact is the Republicans will do anything to deprive this president of a second term.  Nothing is beneath them.  Here’s the story from CAP News:

ALT LAKE CITY (CAP) – Republican Presidential candidate John McCain today called upon the United States to pay homage to its alleged Christian roots by replacing George Washington on the $1 bill with a more appropriate image, that of Jesus Christ.

The plea surprised some political analysts, who had assumed that McCain’s reference to the U.S. as a ‘Christian nation’ in a recent Beliefnet interview was nothing more than pandering to the base.

“I dunno, maybe he did get loopy for the Lord somewhere out there on the Straight-Talk Express,” one reporter told CAP News. “I had to cover that thing for two days in June, and I know I was praying to get the hell off.”

Speaking at the annual Cattlemen for Christ convention in Salt Lake City, McCain said that his first act upon becoming President would be to sign into law a provision that would strip the $1 bill of the country’s famous founder and replace it with “the nation’s true spiritual founder, our Lord Jesus Christ.”

“The beautiful thing about the $1 bill is that even the poor can afford them, just like they can afford the teachings of Jesus,” McCain said to boisterous mooing. “Some think we should call it Messiah Money or Christ Cash, but I’m personally in favor of a shift in emphasis, from the one dollar bill to The One dollar bill.”

While critics were quick to quietly question McCain’s motives and the costs associated with such a massive overhaul of the nation’s most popular currency bill, McCain’s fellow Republican Presidential candidates were left scrambling to one-up the senator with their own monetary proposals.

The race’s only Mormon, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, said he would put a smiling Jesus on multiple bills, noting, “I want to see the same thing when I open my wallet as I do when I open my bedroom door: many smiling faces.”

For former New York mayor and terrorism-survivor Rudy Giuliani, Jesus would only adorn the $20 bill.

“What is 20? 9+11. Need I say more?” Giuliani said.

Bypassing Jesus entirely and heading right to the nation’s first Republican saint, Fred Thompson would put a picture of Ronald Reagan on “some bill, I don’t know, we’re looking into it.”

What do you think?  Do you want to see Jesus’ smiling face on the one dollar bill?

 

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Professor Mike

Professor Mike is a left-leaning, dog loving, political junkie. He has written dozens of articles for Substack, Medium, Simily, and Tribel. Professor Mike has been published at Smerconish.com, among others. He is a strong proponent of the environment, and a passionate protector of animals. In addition he is a fierce anti-Trumper. Take a moment and share his work.
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Anonymous
12 years ago

This is the most retarded thing in the universe. -_-

Void
12 years ago

That article was one of the best satires I’ve read all week. I got almost halfway through it before I realized it was a joke.

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