The little boy and the priest

A priest was seated next to a little boy on an airplane and he turned to him, placed his hand on his leg and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

the little boy and the priest madmikesamerica

The little boy, who had just started to read his book, brushed his hand away and replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?” ” Oh, I don’t know,” said the priest “How about God, Heaven and how you will burn in Hell if you sin?

“OK,” he said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The priest, visibly surprised by the little boy’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little boy replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is a God, or Heaven or why I will burn in Hell if I sin, when you don’t know shit?” The little boy then went back to reading his book.

Tip of the hat to Ed Kryslak for his contribution to this story.  It has been edited from its original versions.

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Posted by on September 28, 2011. Filed under HERESY. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
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38 Responses to The little boy and the priest

  1. jenny40 Reply

    September 28, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    ROFLMAO!!! This is the best version I’ve ever read. Bravo Mike.

  2. Dorothy Anderson Reply

    September 28, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    Nicely done, Bro.

  3. lazersedge Reply

    September 28, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    Very well done Mike.

  4. Anonymous Reply

    September 29, 2011 at 6:40 am

    I love it when you put those pedophiles, I mean priests in their place Mike. Hypocrisy and fairy tales lurk all over the planet.

    • crystal Reply

      July 18, 2014 at 3:31 pm

      Yes! Because ALL priests are pedophiles! If you honestly believe this, you don’t know shit either.

      • Michael John Scott Reply

        July 18, 2014 at 4:30 pm

        Certainly not all. Just a few, and they are the ones that poison all. Sad.

  5. Taylor Love Reply

    August 3, 2012 at 5:31 am

    Damn this joke is old. That wasn’t even funny. How did this get onto stumble upon, seriously?

    • Jimmy James Reply

      August 3, 2012 at 10:25 am

      Tell us one of your jokes. Seriously?

    • Rita Reply

      August 3, 2012 at 10:38 am

      I smell a “Jesus Jumper.” Secondly Taylor Love, you idiot, readers put stories on Stumble-Upon because they like them or didn’t you know that? I can see why this one made it because it’s funny as hell and probably true.

    • Hope Bennett Reply

      August 10, 2012 at 11:37 am

      If you didn’t find it funny, why waste your time commenting? How did your comment get approved, seriously? And old jokes have been recited for ages due to the fact that they’re worth repeating. Maybe it just went over your head, kid.

  6. Dustin Reply

    August 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    LAME!!! Really, how played out and poorly told can a joke honestly be? I mean I know jokes don’t have to be totally realistic, but the premise has to be somewhat believable. First off, wtf priest just walks up to a strange kid and puts his hand on the kids leg and starts talking about heaven and hell? Thats pretty far fetched a REALLY low brow, cliche way to start a priest joke, well maybe not if it were like 2003. 2 Where did this deep, wise, little rain man, reading a book on a plane, kid come from? and where are his parents? 3 The punchline SUCKED, it was easy, obvious, plain, and once again an all around far fetched conversation. The funniest thing is that “Rita” thinks it may have actually happened. hahahahaha

    • RZ Reply

      August 6, 2012 at 5:34 pm

      I bet you’re fun at parties.

    • Anonymous Reply

      August 21, 2012 at 6:39 pm

      1-The joke is actually quite well put together, something about it just bothered you.2-My uncle, who is a promise keeper believes it is his duty to tell everyone who hasn’t been told the word of Dog. It would be harder to find one who didn’t. 3-Believe it or not, children aren’t all idiots, my little brother, who is coming up on 9, could school almost anybody in a religious debate, myself included. 4- At the time this joke was written most airlines still had an ‘Unaccompanied Minor’ program where the airlines’ flight attendants looked after children too young to fly on their own. 5-While the punchline may have been a little predictable, it was certainly not shit. 6- This conversation is most certainly NOT far fetched as I have heard ones just like it from my little brother and uncle.7- It’s just a joke man. Stop being such a tool

    • RevoltFuture Reply

      September 10, 2012 at 1:11 pm

      A joke has to be somewhat believable? A joke has to inspire thought and be funny at the end which this one definitely accomplishes. On top of that, why isn’t this believable? Children have minds of their own until people like the priest in this story and yourself I’m sure get to them.

      You are a boring person, this joke is perfectly worded.

  7. Cheshire Reply

    August 10, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Seems I’m only clicking Stumble these days just to look at the same “AMAZING INVENTIONS!” and lame, ancient jokes over and over…

  8. jordan Reply

    August 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    that’s the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard

  9. joeblow Reply

    August 16, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    I thought it was kinda funny even if it was “Really low brow” and not a plausible situation. It’s a flippin joke get over yourself.

  10. John Smith Reply

    September 15, 2012 at 11:21 am

    This joke can be twisted in whatever way you want it to, the version I heard was about an atheist asking a kid about there being no God. It can also be about Barrack Obama asking about politics. It doesn’t have to be about a priest it can be about anyone, it all depends on the person who is telling the joke, and who his target is: Catholics, Atheists, Democrats, Republicans. Its just a recycled joke with very little creativity.

    • Nick Reply

      September 17, 2012 at 8:42 pm

      I agree

    • Ellie Reply

      November 14, 2012 at 1:41 pm

      Yeah, the laziness is what made me “meh” at it.

  11. yup Reply

    October 14, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    I always find it funny when people take a joke and take it as gospel, namely, most of the fucktards that agreed with this post. I love all kinds of jokes but this one is an great example of telling a dumb ass joke but because they made fun of religion, suddenly it becomes hilarious. You’re all a bunch of mother fuckin Sheep, try not to jizz all over yourself if someone else makes fun of religion.

    • Michael John Scott Reply

      October 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

      Love all that happy Christian language!

      • Doug Dobson Reply

        December 31, 2012 at 12:01 am

        He seems like he is trying to tell you that making fun of religion is the easy way out of actually writing a joke. People will agree with anything atheist, most of the time these people only know the things they seen on the internet about a religion (which is created by atheists and is mostly likely biased.)

  12. Stuart Denilson Reply

    May 23, 2013 at 1:10 am

    Hiw the hell did this get on Stumble upon? Seriously, who are the nutheads who this was funny in any way? Lets re-read this joke and instead of saying a priest lets substitute it with a Gay guy. Now, that is hilarious!

  13. Anonymous Reply

    October 23, 2013 at 11:59 am

    Obviously not a true story. We usually don’t start running from God until we are a little older.

  14. Nathan Reply

    October 23, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Obviously not a true story. We usually don’t start running from God that young.

  15. Nathan Reply

    October 23, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    Obviously not a true story. We usually don’t start running from God that early.

    • Jerry Reply

      September 10, 2014 at 8:48 am

      You’re right, but he did not ‘talk’ about God, he spoke about shit, which children often do at early ages. Dig it?

  16. Kevin Reply

    November 23, 2013 at 12:26 am

    Who does that little kid think he is, fucking Will Hunting?


    December 19, 2013 at 11:47 am

    Wow…im suprised how some people react when you make a harmless joke about these child molesting priests and bullshit,brainwashing, be careful or the man in the sky will punish you,fairytale religions. Its a joke if you dont like it then dont fucking say shit, nobody asked for this to be rated or criticized. Someone thought to post this on here just to make people smile, but theres always some asshole waiting to bash on someones post because they think its there obligation or god given duty. Jesus freaks always act the same, close minded, stubborn sheep…baaahhh…baaahhhhh.

    • Michael John Scott Reply

      December 20, 2013 at 7:50 pm

      Praise Jeebus 🙂

    • Jayo Reply

      February 9, 2014 at 3:22 pm

      That is to say, a person cannot speak of something they spend their lives devoted to, if they don’t know how the shape of poo leaves an animal’s body. Don’t have ALL the answers? Then shut up as we all laugh at you with our superior intellect and knowledge of the universe! Silly fools and their fairly-tale God, they don’t even know how poop is made!

  18. stevo Pittsburgh Reply

    March 29, 2014 at 9:04 am

    In the movie Carrie, a bucket of blood was poured on a girls head to make people laugh. It was a mean joke to tick people off and make a statement; the priest is stupid and the child is smart. The preacher just happened to put his hand on the child for an added visual. I’m not normally offended and I’m not offended here. Most of the jokes I laugh at are in bad taste.

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