Barack Obama time travels to Mars and other weird stuff

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In August of 2011, a man named Andrew Basiago made the following claim: he had time traveled to Mars with now President Barack Obama in 1980.

mars, humor, madmikesamerica

President Obama was time traveling incognito as Barry Soetoro, and accompanied by Regina Dugan, the woman Obama appointed to lead DARPA, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. Coincidence? NEVER! Another Mars visitor, William Stillings, backs up Basiago’s statement, remembering President Obama as a teen age astronaut, “jumping” through space and time.

Dwight Eisenhower’s great, great granddaughter, Laura Magdelene Eisenhower, was also recruited to help “seed” the red planet, but resisted. She insists there is an “incredible cover up” regarding the attempted terra forming of Mars, and that the plan to terra form Mars came about through cooperation with extra terrestrials. Many people believe there is a human colony on Mars even now, and Stillings and Basiago are certain President Barack Obama was part of the “jumping” team in 1980 to send the first colonists off through magical portals filled with stars and unicorns to plant corn on Mars.

Closer to home, hysteria has been building over Agenda 21, or as TeaPartyFire.com calls it, elite socialist fascism to bring about a New World Order by dumbing down American children (like we need help with that), taking all our guns away (they harp on that non stop) and forcing us to reevaluate our use of energy. Oh. My. God. Schools talking about the environment? Sustainable energy, housing and farming? Obviously, this is a grand scheme by George Soros to take over the world. Yes, of course, Soros’ name is involved in this-he is the Wizard of Everything, you know. I’m waiting for Andrew Basiago to claim he saw George Soros “jumping” to Mars, as well.

Finally, tying this all together, sort of, is the absolute lie that Bill Gates wants to sterilize the world by vaccinating them against diseases. If you are reading this and believe that President Obama “jumped” to Mars and that the United Nations is going to come steal your guns and make your children stupid, then you’ll swallow the following without a drop of water. Conspiracy theorists watched a video of Bill Gates speaking at a TED forum, where he stated that vaccines help decrease population growth. Now, since TED is considered an incredibly elitist, intellectual and snobby group, obviously Bill Gates is a giant, mean murderer, because vaccines SAVE lives, unless Bill and Melinda Gates are wielding the needle, then run!

NO. Vaccines decrease infant mortality, and families who would have had to try for six, seven, even eight children now do not, because the one or two they have will live. Thus, rather than have more children that they cannot feed or clothe, thanks to vaccines, they have fewer, but healthier kids. It’s actually very simple, but in the world of a Mars “jumping” president, the evil United Nations and socialist Agenda 21, why not believe that one of the greatest humanitarians in modern history is actually a serial killer with a needle instead of a chainsaw? What the hell, right?

Now, the best one I’ve heard all year. I didn’t mention this in the title of the article, because it’s sort of a late Christmas (holiday) gift to everyone. They’re called Paulsamics-Ron Paul believers who stand outside and spray vinegar at contrails. Really. For some strange reason, these folks believe that contrails are toxic and dangerous and form clouds that will kill them. Those clouds, by the way, are actually good; they help cool the Earth, but these Paulsamics don’t let actual science and facts dissuade them. So, these people stand on their lawns, with spray bottles filled with vinegar, and spray the sky. When, oh miracle of miracles, they see the clouds dissipating after 10 minutes, they say that proves their “theory” and oh look how amazing this all is.

No doubt 2011 was a kooky year, and I am damn glad it’s over. But remember-people like this never go away, so I’m guessing (hoping) to find more of this silliness in 2012. Safety tip if you plan on joining the Paulsamics: vinegar is not lighter than air, and your lawn will eventually look like a herd of buffalo took a bathroom break all over your grass. Happy New Year!

Many thanks to teapartyfire.com, bardofely.hub pages.com and predictthisunpredictpast.blogspot.com for info in the article…

About Post Author

Erin Nanasi

Erin Nanasi is an avid underwater basket weaver, with a penchant for satire and the odd wombat reference.
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12 years ago

[…] is always good at highlighting the silly, and the quick piece on Barack Obama time travels to Mars and other weird stuff, really shows a side of 2011 that MSNBC just doesn’t give you. But my favorite piece is the […]

12 years ago

I would try to make some snarky remark, but I am quite ill, so I’ll just stick with the tried and true:

“The stupid, it burns!”

Erin N.
Reply to  Chris Buescher
12 years ago

Well, get better, because your snark makes us happy. Chicken soup, plenty of water and sleeeeeeeeeep.

Barton
12 years ago

This is a riot!! Paulsamics? If you didn’t see the video check it out. Great writing about certifiable idiots. Thanks for the new year laugh.

12 years ago

HO, HO, HO, ! And a HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ! Love Bugs Bunny and his cohorts! Enjoy your site muchly!

Reply to  RickRay
12 years ago

Thanks Rick!!

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