Are our pets capable of loving us?
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I just had an interesting conversation with the manager of my horse’s new barn. We were swapping stories and our outlooks on all things equine when he said, “I think one of the biggest mistakes that people make is thinking that their horses love them.” I’m sure I made some sort of noncommittal reply, but after we parted ways I gave the comment deeper thought. Does my horse love me? I don’t think he does.
Don’t get me wrong, he is very attached to me, and I’m not the only one who has said so. I had to take him in to a veterinary referral hospital for some dental work a while back, and the technicians mentioned it after he kept looking over his shoulder whinnying at me as they led him away. When we are together he is usually kind and playful and seems genuinely happy that I’m there. After we’ve been apart, he’s either excited to see me or sulky if I’ve been gone too long. I love him, but I think he sees me more as a source of good things like grooming, fun outings and food, as well as a protector. This doesn’t necessarily equal love.
I define love in this situation as a willingness to put someone else’s best interests in front of your own. I don’t think Atticus is capable of doing that. He has injured me (never seriously and always unintentionally) when he’s been scared because he is focused solely on self-preservation. I chalk this up to horses being prey animals. When push comes to shove, they fall back on an “everyone is out to get me” point of view. I remember one time when I fell off Atticus after he over-reacted to some perceived threat. After he realized his mistake, he sheepishly walked over to me, putting his nose on my shoulder. He looked genuinely sorry to find me in a heap on the ground, but I doubt that he had the slightest concern for my well-being in the heat of the moment.
Do my cats love me? I smile even as I ask that question. It brings to mind the quote, “Dogs have owners; cats have staff.” I do not doubt that others have different relationships with their cats, but mine seem to view me as I suspect the aristocracy looks upon their faithful servants — with affection, but that’s as far as it goes.
Dogs are another story altogether. Too many dogs have put their own well-being at risk to help their people to discount the possibility that love plays a role in that relationship. I’ve never been in mortal danger, but I did have a dog protect me from a stick once. Before you laugh, let me defend my dog by saying this was one scary sounding stick.
I was walking down the side of the road with my dachshund-beagle-corgi named Owen when I accidentally kicked a smallish branch covered in dry leaves. It made a horrendous cracking-scratching-rattling noise. Owen jumped in front of me with fangs bared, fur raised, and eyes shining with hate tinged by a little fear, ready to protect me from the evil beastie that dared threaten his person. I was so proud of my little guy! I made a big fuss over him to ease his embarrassment after he realized what the “threat” really was.
So, what do you think? Do your animals love you?
Dr. Jennifer Coates writing for PetMD
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I currently have two cats. Due to an injury a number of years ago, I was nearly immobilized in casts off and on for almost four years, and so automated my cat care. I bought a Litter Maid self-scooping litter box, a circulating water fountain with a 3.5 liter capacity and a programmable portion-control food dispenser that holds about twenty-five pounds of dry food.
What this gives me is from three to four days between dumping the litter tray, around ten days of water and almost three months of food – note that it is often said that these are the only reasons cats notice humans at all.
On any given day, however, I can reasonably expect that my furry children are not in need of feeding, watering or scooping, but even so, I still find that they seek out my attention and offer me affection despite an apparent lack of physical needs. When I go to bed, within a few minutes, I am surrounded by furry, purring pillows until morning. This is clearly voluntary affection that is probably not motivated by hunger, thirst or litter stench. If you don’t want to call that a form of love, that’s up to you. It may be a touch of anthropomorphizing, but I choose to interpret as such. I think that the real test occurs when their affection comes at an inconvenient time (such as when I am typing a long blog comment) and I have to shoo them away, they always come back, which I see as evidence of a genuine bond.
One difference between dogs and cats: A dog looks at its human and thinks, “He feeds me, he gives me a warm place to sleep, he brushes me and takes me for walks. He must be a god.” A cat looks at its human and thinks, “He feeds me, he gives me a warm place to sleep, he brushes me and cleans my litter box. I must be a god.”
There’s also this nice example of the differences.
My late cat BattyCoda worshipped the ground I walked on. Me and you and glue; she was stuck to me whenever I was in the house. My little shadow. My husband said “That cat loves you.” many, many times. She slept on my pillow right by my head.
She sat in my lap if possible anytime I sat down, preferably with her nose right up next to my mouth.
Would she jump in front of me to protect me? Not sure, but she definitely didn’t want anyone sitting next to me except her and would find a way to insinuate herself between me and anyone else. 🙂 And she could get downright nasty about it.
I have two little rescue chihuahuas right now. One of them is a little afraid when other people approach us when we are out on our walks and hangs back. The other one thinks he is Cujo and jumps between me and anyone who dares approach, barking his warning until I tell him “enough”. Then he just grumbles under his breath. Oddly enough, the one who hangs back is the life of the party type dog; energizer bunny in dog form. The other guy? Quiet, shy and easy going at all other times.
I think an animal’s love is different from people love. When an animal loves you, they are all in; there are no calculations;there’s no question. For whatever level of love they are capable, you get all of it. Maybe they don’t get the protector thing, but they get the adoration thing very well.
We have a rescue cat named Princess. She chirps when I walk in the room, follows me around the house and when I’m not feeling well, she flops down right next to me, and will not leave my side. As much as a cat can love a human, I believe this cat loves me.