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Stay home lazy bitches…I mean moms

Ah, the luxury of being a stay home mother. Lounging around in our La Perla silk nightgowns all day, eating Belgian chocolate while invisible gnomes do all the housework. We’ve tried for decades to prove our worth, but thanks to one Hilary Rosen, and the myriad of actual working women, the jig is up. We’re all just lazy bitches.

Working women get dressed every morning, packing their lunch into an insulated food carrier, shove their conservative pumps into a Cole Haan satchel (they bought it themselves, no need for a MAN’S money) and go to their magnificent jobs. Stay home moms do nothing all day. We mooch off our husbands, we watch our stories, we sort our day diamonds from our evening diamonds and chat with stylists from Chanel and Gucci. We live a life of luxury. Every single one of us.

My floors clean themselves, my cat does the laundry and somehow, dinner is made, the furniture is dusted and my articles are written. I have no idea how this happens, since like other stay home moms, I do nothing all day. Work? HA! What is that?

I found this comment on Facebook. Obviously, I spend a lot of time on Facebook, since my 14 member household staff does everything for me. This comment was in response to Hilary Rosen’s spot on comments about Ann Romney and stay home mothers:

“I don’t really see a big problem with this personally, but then I have had jobs since I was about 15 years old. It must be nice to have a choice about staying home and having a job. Staying home is not a job. It is a lifestyle choice. Yes, caring for children can be tough work, but it is not the same thing as holding a job. You cannot be fired. You answer to no boss. I think Rosen is right on about Romney not having any idea about the everyday economic challenges that most women face.”

Wow! See what she did there? In one paragraph she tells the truth about stay home mothers! We’re not working; we’re slackers, we’re moochers, we have no clue how the real world works! “Caring for children can be work.” I know my 6 nannies tell me that every evening before they retire to the three guest houses behind the 2 acre man made lake on our property.

Stay home moms should be ashamed of ourselves. So what that some of us could not afford to go to college and cannot make a livable wage and are blessed to be with a partner who supports us both emotionally and financially. So what that some of us have illnesses that keep up from working, and we do need a little help from time to time. And so what if some of us have a developmentally challenged child who needs a mom at home, because some of us can’t afford an at-home health care worker. We are all leeches and should be ashamed of ourselves. I know I am.

If you’re a stay home mom, try to bear up. I know this all sounds vaguely familiar-remember the 70’s? We were demonized then as well, and we should have been. We are truly horrible people. Obviously, what stay home moms need to do is put together a resume, get that Marc Jacobs suit cleaned, have the houseboy polish the Jimmy Choos and leap majestically back into the workforce. Just remember to wear your day diamonds; the Harry Winston 16 karat diamond channel set band is too flashy for an interview. Of course, you can wear the David Yurman bangles. Those are always lovely and they match your Kelly bag perfectly.

Yes, stay home moms are all lazy slackers, who don’t lift a finger all day. We don’t work, we don’t contribute anything to society, and one day, we will all go like lemmings off the Cliffs of Despair. We’ll be accessorized perfectly, and of course, if we choose to leap after Labor Day, not one of us will be wearing white. It’s simply not done.

If you will excuse me, I must dash. The helicopter’s here-I’m getting my hair cut with Trevor Sorbie. Ciao.

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Posted by on April 13, 2012. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
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15 Responses to Stay home lazy bitches…I mean moms

  1. Erin Nanasi Reply

    April 13, 2012 at 8:23 am

    I wish my kitchen was that clean.

  2. RickRay Reply

    April 13, 2012 at 8:46 am

    I’m a stay at home dad. Only because I’m retired at 63. I live alone with my cat who washes the floor with her tongue. (only when she spills catfood). My mother was a stay at home mom…boy was she miserable. I know she hated washing dishes cause a few of them were thrown about the kitchen. Cooking..she only did it cause she had to. My step-dad, well, he worked in the mines…died at 62….mom’s dead at 59. Both of them had lung cancer…heavy smokers! Well, so much for staying at home writing my opinions in blogs. Time to watch Star Gate Atlantis and have a coffee. Gee, staying at home ain’t so bad!

  3. Bill Formby Reply

    April 13, 2012 at 9:51 am

    One of the big problems with the concept of stay at home moms is that statistic of the 50% divorce rate. Then the stay at home moms who was married to a slob who was barely making enough for them to survive now doesn’t make enough for them to live separately. The stay at home mom suddenly finds herself having to compete for jobs with no job history and likely without a job related education. The mean streets are tough.

  4. Lawrence Knowlton Reply

    April 14, 2012 at 8:24 am

    The comment that Rosen should have (and meant to say) was that Ann Romney has not worked a day in her life for a paycheck.
    She has not needed to worry about providing for her family, due to Mitt’s million$, like the rest of the 99% Moms.
    My two main points are:
    1. Ann Romney represents the 1% Moms; no one takes away the fact that she is a hard working Mom.
    2. Mitt is afraid, that if he asks mainstream women the question, he’ll look foolish asking a bunch of ‘lower class’, possibly uneducated women.
    So, he turned to the path of least resistance and took stock of who he already knows (inventory). In Mitt’s mind: “Oh yes, I have a wife and she is female! I know she talks with other rich white females, where I know I’ll hear what I want to hear. I’ll ask her what she chats about with her other rich friends. Gosh, I hope she doesn’t talk to anyone of less than middle income range…you know less than six figures.”

  5. MaleView Reply

    October 12, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    OH PLEASE, sounds like the author of this article is a tad sensitive. Interpretating simple statements into far fetched accusations of she said this, or she meant that, only proves the self worth and guilt the author felt when writing this article. YES, SAH mom’s do have it easy! You can not compare a 9-5 job 5 days a week to staying at home and footing around the chores and kids. I have stayed home MANY of times with my kids and it is FAR FROM the daily hectic doldrum you ladies throw around trying to justify doing and earning NOTHING, while your sucker man slaves to provide YOU with a roof and food!!! A man needs to take care of and provide for his kids, but what justifies a grown woman, capable of working and earning to feed herslef, buy her clothes and pay her own bills, leaning on a MAN for support? MEN arent SHIT women will say, I don’t need a man…but YET, here we are, with MEN still paying a woman’s way, a price for knocking her up years ago, ir simply to much of a pussy to leave her fat,ugly ass and simply pay the child support. As far as the times I stayed at home, with 4 kids? I got them ALL to school, on time, fed, with lunches, had half the day to myself AFTER cleaning around the house, picked the kids up, cooked. fed em, do homework, wash em up, off to bed! SIMPLE!!!! I had over 6 hours a day, not including sleepy time at night, to MYSELF, simply watching TV and sleeping and cruising the net. SIMPLE!!! So dont cry about SAHM who SLAVE all day for the kids and man, it does NOT happen, too much time after all said chores and kids are taken care of, its LEISURE at worst. so YES< SAHM's are completely LAZY, worthles and a drain on our society, any man who allows his wife or girlfriend to SAH while he works, so she can screw other guys, smoke weed, drink and sleep all day long between her minimal resposibility, is a damn fool. You reap what you sew.

    • marj Reply

      February 18, 2013 at 12:54 am

      ummm….sounds like some woman wasn’t SAHMing it right and you got screwed- funny how crazy people are attracted to stable ones.

      -Mother of 3, have played both roles as SAHM and full time work outside the house (biotech)

  6. shiela Reply

    November 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    Thank you, MaleView for speaking the truth, and I AM A WORKING MOM! I have had a few month stints twice when I was between jobs of staying home and it WAS luxurious comparing to being a working mom! Now, I have TWICE the workload – reporter outside the home and mom inside the home when I get home after a long 10 hour day. Don’t give me the crap that stay at home moms have it tough – I’ve been there and working AND being a mom is tougher. How I wish I could have the six extra hours every day while the kids are at school to leisure around the house after the chores are done! Now, I have to work my butt off for 10 hours a day or 60 hours a week, and then come home and cook, clean, take care of the kids, bathe them, do homework, organize our lives, read to them, and then wake up at 6 am and start getting them ready and start the whole thing all over again, while my husband also works full-time to support our household. He doesn’t get home until 8 or 9 every night cause he works afternoon shifts. I have a babysitter who stays with the boys till I get home at six pm. That’s the only help I get. Life is expensive these days and my husband doesn’t have a special, high-paying job, so both of our incomes are necessary to not struggle paycheque to paycheque. That life of struggling financially was hell and I don’t want to go back to it just to have a few hours off every day and then tell the world I’m the most devoted, caring, hard-working stay-at-home mom out there. AND I am raising an autistic son to boot, and volunteer with autistic organizations in my city. So don’t anyone dare tell me your life as a stay-at-home mom is a tough job – try doing what I do and we’ll see how sane and happy you are after one week. I dare you.

    • vaworkingmom Reply

      March 16, 2013 at 11:53 am

      amen to that!!!!!!! kudos for working moms who understand staying at home is by far less stressful than a working mom

      • sheila Reply

        March 22, 2013 at 10:02 am

        Thank you vaworkingmom for not jumping down my throat and agreeing with me. 😉 I was afraid some Nazi-SAHM was going to let me have it for speaking forcefully on the issue. But I meant what I said. I’ve been a SAHM for a few months here and there and it really was a LOT easier than being a full-time working mother. I deal with crap at my job all day that most humans would not want to put up with while in the back of my mind, I’m always worrying about how my little munchkins are doing at school and are they safe, happy, did they eat their lunches, are they being bullied, etc. I hate not being there for them 24/7 but they have to spread their wings now that they’re school-aged children. My autistic boy is another story. He suffers from life-threatening epilepsy so I get the added bonus of keeping my cell on 24/7 in case he’s rushed to the emergency for having a seizure at school, which I have had to leave work for a few times. I will admit, I know you have tons of work to do at home when you’re raising toddlers, I will definitely not argue that. But imagine doing both – kids AND outside work. If they’re school-aged and you’re a SAHM, then there is no other word to describe your lifestyle but “luxurious”. End of story.

  7. Jackie Reply

    December 2, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    My mom SUCKS!!!! My sister and I are in 6th and 8th grade and we are her only kids! The house looks like crap and is cluttered beyond belief! Sometimes when I get off the bus, she is in pajamas complaining that she needs to shower. I hate it and all she does is sit with my dog and use her iPad. She even complains that every once in a while I oversleep and she has to wake me up- at 6:30! What time do you think you’re going to get up if you ever get a job? I’ve had anxiety problems with the dentist since I was 3, and then she started screaming at me because I couldn’t come up with a specific reason why I hated it! I just started therapy and she keeps saying “you need to talk about this in therapy. What are you going to do then?” I hate her… There is NEVER anything to eat in my house because she goes to the store maybe once every two weeks! About as often as she does laundry… I constantly have to wear dirty things again because if I ask her to do laundry, she won’t do it for 3-4 days!!!!! She is disgusting! She has like one pair of pants and 3 shirts… And she complains that she never gets time for herself what about the 6 1/2 hours we are in school? She shouldn’t be a SAHM at all! But she can’t get a job because she would be way to lazy for it; just like her unemployed-for-two-years-not-even-looking-for-a-job brother! She hasn’t worked since I was born 14 years ago! I understand SAHMs that actually have infants and toddlers, and do things like take care of their families and clean, shop, wash and cook. She doesn’t even cook! We eat fast food 6/7 nights a week- at least! Unless my dad grills or we have company. She tells me to get her in shape because she’s a fat pig and I’m undoing all the McDonald’s she’s fed me throughout my childhood and losing weight! I’ve even tried to help her and she doesn’t follow through :(. Sorry this is so long, but every word is true! Thanks!

  8. ithinktoomuch Reply

    December 4, 2012 at 7:07 am

    The only SAH parents I’ve ever met who truly treated it as a full-time job were the ones who participate in their kids activities–teacher’s assistant, den mother/father, fundraising volunteer, chaperone, chauffeur–or had either a special needs kid or a whole bunch of kids. There is literally not enough stuff to do inside a reasonably kept-up middle class house to keep an adult busy for 40 hours in a week.

  9. Workmyassoff Reply

    January 2, 2013 at 11:25 pm

    Sorry, but yes you are lazy bitches. How about having a full time job AND raising kids. Lazy and stupid from start to finish, all of you. Then you sit on your fat asses thinking baking cookies is a service to society.

  10. google Reply

    March 22, 2013 at 3:31 am

    href=”http://www.mybots.eu/index.php?site=forum_topic&topic=1″>http://www.mybots.eu/index.php?site=forum_topic&topic=1|<a href="http://www.div-edelweiss.de/home/index.php?

  11. proudsahm Reply

    May 2, 2013 at 12:41 am

    I’ve been a stay at home mom for 8 years now.. I have had shit paying jobs on and off because I had my daughter at a young age. I am currently in college while taking care of my family. I am married to a man who believes because he sits in front of a computer 4 days a week, he doesn’t have to do shit around the house. I am far from lazy, and have a tiny frame, so I appreciate help from a male every now and then due to my back problems, but still don’t get any. I go to college full time for psychology, which is hard work btw, take care of all the house responcibilities, yard work, everything to do with my daughter, and yes, my husband is so lazy that most of the time I end up repairing the cars, and all the time I do the house remodeling/fixing. And I have an 8 year old with adhd. I don’t doubt working a full time job is as equally as hard, but what you working woman don’t seem to understand is that not only do us sahms get emotionally abused by countless others (referred to as lazy moochers and such) but some of us have different children, husbands, houses and lives than you do, and believe it or not.. our lives may be a bit harder than yours. What gets me the most is how working moms feel its their right to attack sahms, because working moms are ‘super moms’ and stay at home moms are scum.. I was even attacked in this mannor by my husbands sister. So please, you working moms (or dads) who feel you are better than sahms, before you go off at the mouth (or in this day and age, go off at the keyboard) at least think of the emotional damage you may be causing a woman simply for choosing a different path than you did and who might also have a complete different life than yours.

  12. stay at home moms are idiots Reply

    October 20, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    stay at home moms makes me ashamed to be a female. free loader moochers that lounge in pyjamas all day make women look bad, thats why we- the working women, because of these cunts like that will never be as respected and taken seriously as males in the business world.

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