The Republicans and the N factor

Read Time:6 Minute, 15 Second

I can’t think of one President who’s taken as much shit as he has, with the possible exception of Abraham Lincoln. You know how when you were a kid, when your parents would ask what you wanted to be when you grew up, and at some point you’d blurt out, “I wanna be the president” and they’d look at you with pride at the thought? Nowadays, I can’t think of one single parent who’d be smiling if their kid said that. Most parents today would probably be like, “No, son… you don’t want to do that! Wouldn’t you rather be in gay porn? There’s more money in it!”

Okay, so I’m exaggerating. But even you have to admit that doing gay porn is less shameful than being a politician these days. If you really think about it, there’s not much difference between being a whore on camera and being a whore in a suit- the only difference is that there’s less nudity and carpet burns.

At any rate, the republicans don’t seem to understand that President Obama didn’t create this mess; he inherited it. Let me reiterate that for those of you in the cheap seats: HE INHERITED IT. George W. Bush, was the one who dropped the ball on 9/11, dragged us into two wars, gutted public education, allowed the Wall Street douchebags to rape our economy, and let New Orleans drown in its own filth when a hurricane tore through it.

Over the past three years, the Republicans have been merciless in their attacks upon the President. They hate him because he’s a liberal. They hate him because he’s a socialist. They hate him because he’s a communist. They hate him because he’s a fascist. They hate him because he’s a Nazi. Did I forget to mention that they think he’s the anti-Christ?

That’s rather stupid because the last time I checked, wasn’t the anti-Christ supposed to DESTROY the world instead of help HEAL it?

The Republicans and the Tea Party have done everything they can short of an armed revolt to bring the President down. And why? Why do they hate him so much? What has he done to them? Nothing whatsoever.

You know what I think the problem really is? Nobody wants to say it, but I will. They hate him because he’s a black man. Think about it- if we had a white democrat in office, the Republicans would still be pissed off, but they wouldn’t be anywhere NEAR as venomous. They hate the fact that an educated man of COLOR is sitting in the oval office. The white people in this country have always been deathly afraid of losing their place in the pecking order, and now that we have a black man in office, it’s only a matter of time before we have a woman as President, or God forbid- a MEXICAN!

EEEK!!!!!

Racism in this country has gotten completely out of control since Obama was elected in 2008. It’s almost like the civil rights movement NEVER happened. I have to wonder- did all the white people suddenly succumb to mass insanity? Because it sure seems that way to me.

But here’s the kicker- with all of the asshole pundits talking smack, NONE of them have the balls to come out and say what they’re really thinking when it comes to Obama. If you watch Fox news or listen to Rush Limbaugh, there’s always a subtext to their words- they’ve called him every name in the book except one. And it’s a word they would NEVER say in public, but I’m sure they’ve called him away from the spotlight:

Nigger.

They think he’s an uppity nigger.

Now, before you get upset at me for using that word, keep in mind that I don’t think of President Obama that way.

Just once, I would dearly love for one of these assholes to show their true colors and use the ‘N’ word and ‘Obama’ in the same sentence. You just know they’re dying to say it. So here’s my challenge to every Teabbagger, Republican, Fox News shitbag, and conservative commentator- GROW SOME BALLS AND SAY WHAT YOU’RE REALLY THINKING.

But of course, they won’t. None of them have the courage of their ‘so-called’ convictions and want to lose their cushy jobs. They don’t want to be ostracized by a mature society for their bigoted attitudes and small minds. They just want to keep bullying people and passing the buck. That’s what they’re good at.

Lucky me, I have the courage of my convictions. When George W. Bush was in office, I said so many nasty things about him that I’d be amazed if the FBI didn’t open a file on me. Hell, the last time I passed through Midland, Texas, I stopped for gas and saw a big sign on the road that said, WELCOME TO MIDLAND, HOMETOWN OF PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH. I pointed to it and asked one of the locals, “Are you seriously proud of that?”

I’ll even go so far as to make fun of Congressman Allen West of Florida, a black teabagger.

Insult #1: Hey, Allen- you do realize that you’re the only black man in America who listens to Lawrence Welk, right?

Insult #2: Hey, Allen- why are you being so mean to Debbie Wasserman-Schultz? I thought black guys liked white chicks with chunky asses.

Insult #3: Dude, I think I know why you’re so angry. You’re upset that Steve Urkel got booted off DANCING WITH THE STARS, aren’t you?

See how easy that was? And I didn’t have to resort to using the ‘N’ word. Not that I ever would, being a liberal means that I have an intelligence and creativity that your average conservative moron could never hope to match.

So come on, Ted Nugent! Release that inner redneck and fire up that burning cross! Come out and say it!

How about you, Hannity? You know you’re just foaming at the mouth to say it! Unstarch that underwear and stop combing your hair with buttered toast and live a little! Show us who you really are! SAY IT!

And Glenn Beck? Strip off that Nazi uniform and stop crying! I’ll give you a crate full of Kleenex if you just say what’s really on your pea-sized mind!

If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again- Republicans are idiots.

Let me point out how illogical their thought process is: If you think about it, Barack Obama truly is a living example of the American dream and what it represents. He came from nothing and worked his way through Harvard Law School, decided to give something back by becoming a community organizer in Chicago, became a law professor, then a senator, and finally, the President of the United States.

Now you tell me, name one other country on Earth where something like that is possible. Racism isn’t something you’re born with, folks- it’s born of fear and ignorance. You can rise above it.

All you have to do is try.

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About Post Author

Gregory B. Gonzalez

Gregory B. Gonzalez is an angry black man who isn't actually black. No, really- he told us to say that! His parents once had him tested for Tourette's, but when the doctor came back with his results, he said, "No, he's fine. Your son is just an a**hole!" It's been downhill ever since. He lives like the Unabomber, only without the explosives. Feel free to contact him provided you can actually locate him. Just keep in mind that he'll probably make fun of you to your face. We here at MMA can't stand him, so if you want him, he's all yours!
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11 years ago

Ok… I’m gonna be honest with you here. Usually, I go out of my way to insult conservatives because I think they’re way off base and have no idea what they’re talking about. First, your tax dollars don’t pay one red cent for me on anything. Two, if we had more moderate republicans who were willing to work together FOR THE GOOD OF THE COUNTRY AS A WHOLE, we wouldn’t be complaining. But is that the case? No. I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m not always fond of what the democrats do, but at least they’re not looking to screw the middle class for the benefit of a bunch corporate fatcats. If you’re outraged, then why didn’t you say ANYTHING when Bush was in office? Where was your righteous anger then? If you wanna be angry, that’s fine- just try not to be a FUCKING hypocrite about it.

no
11 years ago

The problem is that Republicans don’t exist anymore. I was raised Republican and I can remember the day my dad went to a school board meeting and intellectually/verbally beat a John-Bircher with an ugly stick so hard that the guy stopped coming to school board meetings and annoying people. Shaming someone is powerful mojo in a small community, or at least it was in Montana in the ’70s.

Back in those days, the religious nutballs were mostly Southern Democrats.

Let me reiterate that… and you can quote me: “Back in those days, the religious nutballs were mostly Southern Democrats.

What happened, was that the Republican party somehow co-opted these knuckle-draggers and they took over the party like invasive weeds. The last time I voted Republican was Bush the 1st in his first term. I voted for Reagan because the men he ran against were worse than he was but I’ve about half regretted my votes for Reagan. I was actually impressed with Bush Sr. in his first couple of years and then the realization started taking hold that the Republican party was a few years into a major turn and not for the better.

The problem is with the religious – and that has been the case since the first cave-man beat his neighbor over the head with a rock and then raised his hands to the heavens and claimed that “Ogg made him do it”. Bottom line, if you are nutty enough to believe in an imaginary friend past about the age of 6, then you are mentally unstable and somewhat dangerous and it doesn’t really matter which political affiliation you claim.

I am a Republican Atheist who has voted Democrat for far too long and it pisses me off to no end. OH, and I’m white and male and middle aged and because of my profession, about a quarter of my friends are gay and I wish they could marry because it offends me that the law keeps them from watching out for each other in cases of medical or other emergencies where a person must count on a spouse to make life & death decisions.

So… Fuck you, wild eyed liberals… and Fuck you, pin-headded religious fundamentalists. My tax dollars pay for you deluded whiny asses. You’re both welcome – now both of you go get a life.

11 years ago

As a Canadian, the new dirty word is, “R” (Republican)
R for racist
E for eggheads
P for prudish
U for ugly
B for bigoted
L for looney
I for ignorant
C for crazy
A for assholes
N for nincompoops

Please feel free to add your own descriptions! I’m so tired of Republican SHIT !

Rayjay1969
11 years ago

You neolibs are so worried a republican will win the WH your welling to make up all kinds of shit as excuses for the terrible presidensy of barak obama. Hes a socialist commie and everybody knows it so it does;t make any difference what color he is.

Anonymous
Reply to  Rayjay1969
11 years ago

Rayjay, look at the picture. Those are actual posters, signs and images from the tea party and the right. President Obama is not a socialist, nor is he a Communist. Perhaps you might avail yourself of a dictionary. President Obama is a moderate Democrat. If it doesn’t matter that President Obama is African American, why do conservatives make posters, signs and images like those shown above?

Reply to  Rayjay1969
11 years ago

Rayjay, you and Younggun really need a hard slap. With every word you speak it proves that YOU JUST DON’T GET IT. Like I pointed out in the article- you republicans hate Obama, but you can’t name a single reason WHY. Don’t pretend you have the courage of your convictions. BECAUSE YOU DON’T. If you did, you would have the balls to call him out like I said. You two assholes are COWARDS. Deal with it.

Gregory B. Gonzalez
11 years ago

Tell me, younggun73, do you use that right hand of yours for anything other than masturbation, you redneck nitwit? Because it sure doesn’t seem that way to me! I just wanted to drop in and say thank you for proving my point. And one more thing- Obama could NEVER be the colossal screw up that Bush was. So much for ‘white’ intelligence. You’re just as much of a moron! Suck on that, loser! Hugs and kisses!!!!!

-G.

Younggun73
11 years ago

Ya know you libs will go to any length to blame the right, and we call it the “right” for the right reasons, for everything. Obama is a shit president and no matter what color he is, but we all know that some races aren’t as bright as others. So thats all about that.

Reply to  Younggun73
11 years ago

Now that comes as no surprise. You just affirmed everything Gregory wrote. Everything. Republicans…can’t live with them, want to live without them. Obama 2012!

Erin Nanasi
Reply to  Younggun73
11 years ago

Do you see what you did there? Probably not. Gregory, fantastic article!

Reply to  Erin Nanasi
11 years ago

Did I ever tell you I hate “cryptic?” 🙂

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