Crazy Birthers Have New Obsession

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A long time ago, a man named Barack Obama graduated from Harvard law school. He was president of the Harvard Law Review, and taught Constitutional law at the University of Chicago Law School for twelve years. Barack Obama is obviously a pretty smart guy.

Barack Obama is now our first African-American president, and as such, his election has brought the crazies out in full force. Now, to be fair, the whole birth certificate fiasco was started by lawyers claiming to be working on behalf of then-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton (they weren’t). Those lawyers, specifically a man named Phillip Berg, filed a lawsuit in 2008 against Barack Obama, a full month after Hillary Clinton endorsed Obama for president. So, the birther nonsense was started by a lawyer who supported Hillary Clinton, not BY Hillary Clinton.

MENSA candidates like Orly Taitz, Pat Boone and Joe Arpaio have clung desperately to the myth that Hawaii is not a state, and that 40+ years ago, a group of people conspired to augment President Obama’s birth certificate, KNOWING he would eventually be president via psychic connections to Mars and the KGB. This is the fallout, by the way, from Reagan closing all those mental institutions.

Thanks to Donald “Muskrat Head” Trump’s relentless bullshit, President Obama took time out from running the country and waved around his long-form, legal and real birth certificate. Did that shut these idiots up? Nope, it’s still fake, he’s a Kenyan, NO we’re not racist, it’s just cuz his name is foreign and he looks different. And he’s a Socialist, commie, Muslim, fascist Marxist. So there.

And now, the absolute insanity that is the birther movement has moved on (sort of) to greener (not really) pastures. They demand, DEMAND, to see President Obama’s college records, because Donald “The Blacks Love Me” Trump and Pat “Whites Are Disappearing” Buchanan both say President Obama only got into Harvard thanks to affirmative action. Right. Harvard Law Review. College professor. All because he’s black. Or half-black, as numerous right wing pundits like to point out, over and over and over again.

I wonder, if President Obama was white, would anyone would be questioning his place of birth or his college grades or his skin color or his race? If he were white and conservative, do you honestly think liberals would have formed a Tea Party, claimed he only got into college because he’s white, demanded to see his birth certificate or called him “half-white?” I highly doubt it. We know how George W. Bush got into Yale-he was a legacy. That happens all the time, especially in wealthy families with alumni in the mix. But you didn’t see a bunch of Democrats, wearing stupid hats and carrying racist signs, screaming about that, didja?

Look, if you don’t like some of President Obama’s policies, fine. This is America (or Amercia, for you Romney supporters), and you don’t have to march lockstep with anyone. But if your issues with OUR president, and he is our president, have to do with his time at Harvard, his exotic name and/or his skin color, you’re a racist. It’s really that simple. Argue politics until you’re blue in the face, it’s your right. Don’t come at me with bizarre conspiracies about time travel and the KGB and secret plans 40 some odd years ago to change President Obama’s birth certificate because someone knew he would be president someday. That’s just plain stupid.

It’s hard to argue with someone who is so entrenched in the lies spread by Fox and the Koch brothers and birthers and baggers. You can’t use logic, because they are not operating logically. You can’t use facts, because they simply don’t care. They buy into the Alex Jones wackiness and the Michele Bachmann insanity. Birthers, baggers and now graders are nuttier than squirrel poo, and nothing we say or do will change their minds. President Obama has broken the cardinal rule of the new GOP: black, Democratic men park cars, they don’t become president.

We have a black president. Get the fuck over it, and shut UP. Stop whining and bitching and moaning and lying and insulting his wife and his children. With any luck, we’ll have another 4 years of this president, and guess what? He’ll still be black, his wife will still be black and his daughters will still be black. And he will still have been born in Hawaii and graduated from Harvard, and Trump and Buchanan and Jones and all the rest of them will hopefully self-flagellate themselves out of existence.

Thanks to Bloody Shrubbery.com and TP Muckraker for contributions to this article.

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About Post Author

Erin Nanasi

Erin Nanasi is an avid underwater basket weaver, with a penchant for satire and the odd wombat reference.
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AtticusFinch
11 years ago

“This is the fallout, by the way, from Reagan closing all those mental institutions.” HA! It’s funny ’cause it’s true!

Erin Nanasi
11 years ago

And they look at you with a straight face and say “NO! It’s his policies!” Uh huh, of course it is…

Diane
11 years ago

Very well said.
These idiots think that Hawaii is a foreign country. Really.
And the fact that they are crazy and racist.

11 years ago

Erin. I laughed – I cried. 4 stars.

11 years ago

You must support Obama ! SO DO I – and I’m a Canadian!

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