4 Ways Mitt Romney Insulted the British

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Mitt Romney and David Cameron. Image from The Reid Report.

Visiting a foreign country is like visiting someone’s house. When you arrive, you should refrain from insulting the window treatments, commenting disdainfully on the new carpeting or saying, with a sniff “You didn’t actually pick THAT, did you?” while pointing to a table lamp. That’s simply not the way you behave as a guest in someone’s home.

Mitt Romney took a jaunt across the pond this past week, and during his short visit, managed to insult the entire country of England. His behavior was embarrassing, awkward (to put it mildly) and tacky. For those of you who may have missed Romney’s incredible comments, The Guardian has numerous articles detailing every single misstep. You will wince.

1) Romney’s Olympic gaffe: In a move that astonished Downing Street, hours before it laid on a special reception for Romney at No 10, he told NBC there were “disconcerting” signs about the preparations for the Games. One senior Whitehall source said: “What a total shocker. We are speechless.”

2) Anglo-Saxons: His camp was forced to repudiate comments by an un-named adviser who told the Daily Telegraph that Barack Obama, the first black US president, had mishandled Anglo-American ties and that Romney better understood the “Anglo-Saxon heritage” between the two countries.

3) MI6: On Thursday, Romney also took the unusual step of acknowledging that he had met the head of MI6, Britain’s secretive foreign intelligence agency, when asked about his discussions with British officials about Syria. Such conversations are not normally discussed publicly by government leaders.

4) Those pesky names: Romney also met Ed Miliband, the leader of the oppositon Labour party. Miliband took questions from two reporters from what he called “my side”, but Romney would not take questions from US journalists. At one point, Romney called Miliband “Mr Leader”, which prompted suggestions he had forgotten Miliband’s name.

My mother would have loved to send me to finishing school. Luckily, we never had the money, so I still struggle to sit down while keeping my ankles crossed. I do remember to blot my lipstick, I can set a table for a six course dinner, and I never wear too much jewelry. I would also never in a million years travel to a foreign country and promptly insult them. So, with all his money and private school education, it seems Mitt Romney is still in desperate need of etiquette lessons.

Final Touch School.com might be just the thing for Mitt Romney. It’s run by a woman who looks quite a bit like his wife, it features numerous online courses along with person to person training and Final Touch School has “gentlemen only” lessons in etiquette. Mitt could download courses in PDF format and read them as he travels across the country. Perhaps he could write this off on his taxes, if he ever finds them.

When Mitt travels to Switzerland to visit his money, he might want to visit Institut Villa Pierrefeu, one of the oldest and most respected finishing schools in Europe. Rumor has it, they only accept women, but perhaps for a sizable donation, they would make an exception for Mitt. IVP creates seminars and special training upon request, focusing on social aspects of other cultures. I think Mitt would benefit greatly from this experience.

Finally, given Mitt’s obvious issues with Great Britain, there is The British Butler Institute. From their website:

“The British Butler Institute is London and Scotlands finest Finishing School.

Classes are held at our elegant London Institute and at our Castle in Cupar, Scotland.

Our Finishing School clients include CEO`s, professionals, celebrities, embassy staff and diplomats, presidents of large corporations, royalty, models, luxury retail and corporates.”

The British Butler Institute seems perfect, doesn’t it? Mitt would learn the finer points of etiquette in the country where it all went so wrong. Mitt would feel right at home with the clientele, he wouldn’t have to learn a new language, and he would be taught the proper way to present himself while visiting a foreign country.

On a more serious note, Mitt Romney wants to be America’s next president. American presidents must have tact and respect for the rest of the world. As much as the far right would like to believe that America is an island and we don’t need to interact with others, our leaders do in fact need to have class and elegance when dealing with other countries. Mitt Romney may have embarrassed himself, insulted England and given President Obama an early Christmas gift, but remember-his base loves this sort of thing. While they swill their Pabst Blue Ribbon and watch Fox News, they are overjoyed that Mitt Romney went abroad and insulted an entire country.

While it would be delightful to send the entire conservative party to finishing school, just to watch them struggle with a shrimp fork, that is not feasible. What would be lovely is if we could find someone classy, someone bright and personable and charming to visit Great Britain and show America in a better light. Who would that be, I wonder…oh wait, she’s already there.