Tiger Woods is Out of the Foursome

Everyone who plays golf at one time or another thinks about who he/she’d want in their fantasy foursome.   Everyone wants Arnold Palmer or Jack Nicklaus.    I always wanted Gary Player in mine since I always appreciated the way he conducted himself.  Plus, the first golf book I ever read was his “Golf Secrets.”   Just like the guy.

Joe on the links!

Joe on the links!

I’d of course want either Walter Hagen or John Daly in the group since they would supply the booze.     There are only two cures for “yipping” putts. Booze or a long putter which the USGA decided to make illegal to piss me and PGA tour pro Keegan Bradley off.  The USGA loves Fred Couples and would have left it legal had it not been for their contempt for me and Keegan. I don’t even know what we did to piss them off.

Like him or not, Tiger Woods is in everyone’s all time foursome.  Except for lady golfers. The prudish ones at least who hate all male fun. He of course was in mine until I read about a young lady named Susie Doyans.

Susie isn’t a real good golfer.  Neither am I.  She hasn’t broke 100 yet.  But she’s accomplished more than just about anyone I can think of.  A doctor told Susie’s mother it would be best to leave her in an institution.  Her mother, obviously a woman of intellect and goos sense ignored the doctor’s advice.   Susie learned to write at six years old.  She didn’t speak for 20 years except a little to her mom. Now  she gives speeches for Special Olympics.  And she’s won medals for her golf she hangs on her wall.

Normally I ignore feel good stories.  But my granddaughter has Downs Syndrome just like Susie.    I understand the shyness. Fortunately we know more about Downs and are better able to deal with it.   And hopefully my granddaughter will pick up a golf club one day and enjoy the game of a lifetime.  Just like Susie.

So it comes down to this. There’s only room for four people at my fantasy tee time.    Me, Gary Player and Walter Hagan.  Tough break Tiger. You’re out. I’m playing 18 with a real hero. You’re on the tee Susie!

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Posted by on December 19, 2012. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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4 Responses to Tiger Woods is Out of the Foursome

  1. lincoln82

    December 19, 2012 at 10:49 am

    HA! Out of the foursome. Good one. Amusing piece Joe, as always.

    • Joe Hagstrom

      December 19, 2012 at 12:01 pm

      Thanks Lincoln.

  2. Bill Formby

    December 19, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    Well done Joe. Of course she would still beat me because I don’t play often enough. By the way, I have played a round with John Daly a number of years ago. Not only does he bring the booze he is a lot of fun to play golf with also.

  3. Joe Hagstrom

    December 19, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    I played gold with fred Couples once. I thought I was good then. I got an education. Hit one about 270 down the middle and Couples gets up and hits it 80 yards by me. The decision to find a different career path was made then. I think I have the inside track on a Pulitzer Prize as an author at MMA. I will thank Fred Couples in my acceptance speech.