A Difficult Lesson: The Meaning of Life
This is a story about how a priest’s sermon led to a question from a small girl to her grandfather about the meaning of life.
One Sunday in church, when I was a small child, the priest told the congregation, “Be kind to your brother”. Yikes, that startled me because I knew I couldn’t always do that; sometimes my brother wasn’t very nice to me. But the priest’s message got even more complicated when he added, “If we can be kind to our brothers, we bring them life but only if we first know the meaning of life for ourselves”. I heard nothing more after that; my mind was busy preparing what I would ask grandfather.
I went right to him after church to find the answers. I told grandfather what the priest said. He easily explained the priest was not speaking about MY brother, but all people as our “brothers”. OK, that made sense but of course grandfather knew he wasn’t getting off that easy. There was more I needed to know. I said, “But grandfather, what did he mean we have to know the meaning of life? I want to understand that. So, grandfather, what is the meaning of life.”
Grandfather looked flushed and took a huge sigh as he asked me what I thought about the priest’s comment; he did that when he needed to buy time. But I just shrugged my shoulders because I had nothing in reply. So, grandfather told me it was too important to answer quickly because it takes a life time to understand the meaning of life, and some people never do know the answer. He said he wanted to get his thoughts together and we would talk next Sunday.
On that day, grandfather said he was going to tell me his idea of the meaning of life but over many years I would come up with my own thoughts.
He said:
Carolina, many of the questions you ask make me think and learn myself, even as old as I am. This was one of those. As I thought all week, I realized that for me, the meaning of life is simple: it is like what I told you about love (see my post: A Life Lesson: What is Love?). So, Carolina, the meaning of my life has been to bring meaning to the life of my family, my friends, and those more vulnerable than I; and I do that using the strengths I have been lucky to acquire. So, what I am telling you is if you can bring meaning to the life of others, in the end, you will also find the meaning of life.
My grandfather and I talked most of the afternoon and many times after that. He was a liberal and open minded man; he believed in social justice and used many lessons from that to make his points about the meaning of life for me that day. He spoke about valuing human rights, and recognizing the dignity of every human being in everything we say and do. He explained those beliefs and how they helped him live “the meaning of life”, not just use words to talk about it.
Because of that attempt at a lesson from a well-meaning priest, and grandfather’s success in answering my impossible question, I have continued to develop the answer to that for myself over many years. I have done that by reading about and asking others about the meaning of life for them.
One of the best books I encountered on this topic is by Viktor Frankl: “Man’s Search for Meaning”. His beliefs were similar to grandfather’s; and now mine, that have turned out to be more about the meaning of life being a daily journey versus a destination goal:
We need to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who are being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct.”
So, as grandfather explained to me, and as Vicktor Frankl wrote, the meaning of life is about right action and right conduct every day. It’s just that basic.
I thought this might be a good lesson to review as we enter into a new year. I’m sure you have thought about this in your lifetime; MadMikesAmerica readers are highly intelligent and always seeking and then debating answers. So, what is the meaning of life for you?
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Good article! Great message!
Thanks Julia. It’s important when even one reader lets me know my message got through.
Ah the meaning of life, the question that changes depending on when and who you ask. Mine has been the same as long as I can remember, make certain I leave the space I inhabit a better place than when I came into it by treating everyone I meet with dignity and respect every single day. May be a little Pollyannaish for some, but it is who I am and I don’t see myself changing any time soon.
Beautiful, Jess.
Wouldn’t be great if we all lived the way you described. I hate people that make fun of being like Pollyanna. As long as we balance that positive approach with keeping it real…what’s the problem? I think those that make fun of that approach have a hard time believing there are really people out there that have that point of view and they are to be pitied. Thanks for your lovely reply.
My only downfall is trying to treat some fright wingers with respect, one area I am truly lacking. It’s something I struggle with and have no excuses for not doing so, but damn do I try. I don’t hate them, I pity some of them that have so much hatred for others, they don’t see the good life has to offer minus all that pent up hatred.
I agree. Sometimes, it’s a matter of understanding WHY they fear what they speak against. Because for all of us, fear is always at the core of hatred.
The meaning of life to me? Now you have opened new file cabinets and started a couple of new computers whirling away. Mine has changed numerous times as I have changed over time. I think this is true of everyone. I think it also changes by circumstance. But, I also think it something to consider each day? Great post Carol
Ahhh, but Bill. What a great new monitor to have open in your brain. And the meaning does change but the behaviors should not: right action and right conduct for each situation you are dealing with 🙂 Thanks for your reply.
Very good advice.
Dingo. Thanks for the reply. Yes, if we could all follow this advice all of the time, there would be no more torture of humans as Frankl experienced. But, we can make an impact…one person at a time.
Carol, while I do most appreciate your words, I do think that understanding the meaning of some aspects of life is important. Regardless, as a whole your grandfather’s lesson is not lost on me.
Thanks Rachael. As I write these lessons, my only home is that even one sentence helps someone in some way.
Carol you did a wonderful job working Viktor Frankl into this story. I thoroughly enjoyed this little gem, and will be sharing it with friends and family.
Yes, he was an amazing survivor and in the midst of his torture and loss of family by the Nazi’s, was able to develop his amazing philosophy about life. He continued teaching many years after he was freed and his writings are inspiring and timely.
I hope your family and friends enjoy the message.
Thanks for the reply and being a loyal reader.