Smith’s Universal Truths
Read Time:2 Minute, 37 Second
A universal truth is something that’s true, all the time, for all people. Here are a few:
1. Beware of any project that starts with the words, “Remove old finish.”
2. True happiness is finding someone who will tolerate you. The first step in finding that person is admitting that you need some tolerating.
3. If you wonder why something is the way it is; learn who’s making money from it being that way.
4. If it ain’t chocolate, it ain’t dessert. Banana cream pie, for example, is just another part of the meal like the green beans or asparagus.
5. Whenever someone tells you they are doing something “for your own good,” you can be certain that you won’t like it. Furthermore, they will expect you to pay for it. If they’re “protecting your morals,” you’ll have to pay double.
6. Not all lawyers should be shot. Some should be hanged.
7. Beliefs, no matter how sincerely held, do not alter facts.
8. Nothing is so perfect that someone, somewhere, won’t hate it.
9. Real knowledge is knowing where to find the answers.
10. The world is run by the people that show up.
11. Information is not knowledge anymore than loose ingredients are a cake.
12. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.
13. Intellectualism must not be confused with wisdom.
14. A problem with doing anything right the first time is that no one knows how difficult it was.
15. Few things in life succeed as well as a power-off reset.
16. The difference between adventure and disaster is preparation.
17. The most popular human pastime is denial.
18. Forgiveness is easier to obtain than permission.
19. Any solution proposed by a politician will contain more problems than it solves.
20. Don’t worry, you’re not the first.
21. You can have it if you’re willing to pay for it.
22. Man’s most precious possessions are his delusions. No power equals that of self-deception.
23. An entity that cannot laugh at itself has planted the seeds of its own destruction.
24. We earn our appellations by our conduct.
25. Any statement containing the words, “if everyone” will be void of logical content.
26. Excuses are easier than action.
27. The most difficult human task is thinking before speaking or acting.
28. To most people, personal convenience is more important than courtesy or respect for others.
29. If something “goes without saying” you can be sure that someone will say it.
30. Sometimes it’s harder to sell the truth than it is a lie.
31. Local customs are not laws of nature. – Marcus Aurelius
32. The human race will never be truly free as long as it willingly submits to the tyranny of religion.
33. There is no power in the universe greater than that of human self-deception.
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I am all about asking forgiveness after the fact, rather than getting permission before. #27 if we could harness that power we would be better off as a planet.
Ooh rah man!!! All of this shit is me…workin’ it out! Thanks pal.
#31 is the argument against the tired Second Amendment. Good list.
In the first blog post I did at Truth101 I stated it’s never a good idea to put an asshole in charge. Yet for some reason an asshole always ends up in charge. Other than that add on I am satisfied with your list of truths.
Good post James. My students definitely hang onto number 26, and I think that you can usually sell a lie easier than you can sell the truth (# 30)
These made me chuckle…I alsways work on #2.
I’m big on #18 and employ it on a regular basis, especially when I spend too much time with my bar buddies and my wife is unhappy when I get home a wee bit late.
Oh boy…yep. I think I’ve violated all of these at least once. You should see my dining room table!!! 🙂