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I just read a report about the top five dumbest states in America AND they are all in the Southeast! That didn’t surprise me a bit; I have lived in Alabama for seven years now. But actually, for once, Alabama did not make this negative list although it did make the Top 10. All kidding aside, I actually have grown fond of Alabama, but I digress.
Apparently the people conducting this study looked at things like SAT scores, drop out numbers, percent of population with high school diplomas, number of college graduates, and even the number of TV-watching hours by teens. But all they really needed to do was take a drive and count the number of confederate flags flying in any given state. Those with the most would be the dumbest states. They could also count the number of republicans to find the dumbest state, but this is not a political commentary so I’ll move on.
So, here are the top five dumbest states in the nation:
5th dumbest state is Mississippi: This should not come as surprise to you. The report showed that 44.9% of Mississippi high-schoolers spend three hours a day or more in front of a TV. In all fairness to the teens, there really isn’t anything else to do in this state. In fact, when I moved to Alabama, I was warned that Mississippi was one step from Hell. I looked around and thought if Mississippi is worse than Alabama, that’s really bad.
4th dumbest state is Louisiana: Have you ever been there? NOT New Orleans…but the real Louisiana. If not, there are some TV shows you can watch to get a sense of the stupidity. They involve lots of muddy water and shooting gators in the head. Now, there are some things Louisiana has given society and they are proud of those: great music, mud spiders called craw fish, voodoo, and leaking levees of Lake Pontchartrain.
3rd dumbest state is Texas: Texans were not happy about this, but it’s the truth. This was mostly due to the number of high school drop outs and low number of college attendees. But, Texans will declare they don’t need high School or college; they already know more than anyone else. Ever try to argue with a Texan?
2nd dumbest state is Georgia: I can hear you saying, “Yup, I knew that.” Lots of dumb things happen in Georgia, including Honey Boo Boo and her mother. Enough said.
1st dumbest state is South Carolina: Well now, this is also no surprise. This state is known for having some really stupid laws on the books: a person must be 18 to play a pinball machine; horses must not be kept in bath tubs; a permit must be obtained to fire a missile; it is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide; and in case you need to know, it is illegal to give or receive oral sex in South Carolina. The point is, if the people were not so dumb, the laws would not have to be written!
My birth state, New Jersey, made the top smartest states; I’m just saying.
And after reading the report, I felt re-assured that if there ever was another Civil War, the North would win again!