Channeling My Inner Bill O’Reilly: Killing Muslims
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Since my conversion to republicanism I’ve found my blood pressure to be remarkably under control for a man of my age and dietary habits. The suffering of the poor hasn’t bothered me for years. Billionaires getting huge tax breaks while people like me, even though I support billionaires now, pay as much or more in taxes and government fees to make up for the huge tax breaks billionaires get doesn’t bother me. It’s patriotism at its finest. They are the job creators and the rest of us are at the core needy moochers whose existence is only because of them and God and the procreation abilities of Adam and Eve.
What makes this really sweet for those over 50, while a republican who hates government and demand it fund my Social Security and Medicare when I retire with no benefit cuts by cutting the shit out of everyone under 50 to pay for my stuff, is I can look at dead children and not bat an eyelash.
I just saw again the picture of the little boy’s dead body on a beach and his father crying. Didn’t bother me a bit because I understand the political realities. The little boy’s death and his father’s grief don’t matter in the big picture. And the big picture is dead Muslims win republicans elections.
Cheney and Bush led us into the invasion and occupation of Afghanistan and Iraq. There is no disputing this. We republicans are proud of it. These actions “kept safe.” These actions also cost over a trillion dollars. But as Reagan said, :deficits don’t matter.” The fact is we republicans can and will spend whatever we want and the inept Democrats have no clue how to combat this in a campaign. Facts haven’t mattered to republicans and their base voters for generations.
So there are tens of thousands of scared Syrians crossing borders to get away from the carnage in Syria. And while we republicans would love another invasion of a Middle East country, and have no problem running up the Nation’s credit card to do it and make defense contractors billions. Including Halliburton whose stock price is down and dammit! I’m losing money.
The good news is plenty of Muslims are dying without our help so we republicans have the bonus of being able to demand invasions to placate our base and revel in more dead Muslims which also pleases our base. The lady camera operator that was kicking Muslims on the video is a republican hero right now. Far more so than that skank who denies marriage licenses to queers. Not that we good republicans don’t enjoy watching queers get kicked but the skank didn’t kick any so to hell with her.
Good republicans watch with glee when we see Hungarian policemen beating Muslims. The beaten Muslims should be thankful for the beatings as they’re not near as severe as the beatings Assad or ISIS would deliver. We are civilized and able to put things in proper context despite what Bernie Sanders says.
So it’s a good thing for republicans and America to see Muslims being killed. That we spent over a trillion dollars to kill Muslims and hardly anything at all to save them is simply an investment in freedom and families and flags and apple pie and the memory of Ronald Reagan (Who bravely cut and ran after the Marine barracks in Lebanon was bombed killing over 200 Marines). Quite simply put, dead Muslims are good for business and the republican party. And if it’s good for us, it’s good for America.
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All I could think as I read this was ‘genius at work’. Your tongue is so far in your cheek you’ll need surgery to remove it soon! 🙂
Joe, I do not know why you were not picked to replace Steven Colbert. Good work.
He does one helluva job 🙂
When someone gets angry I know I’ve done a piece right. I think I did a pro life piece here (I’ve never revealed my stance on that) that was picked up by a few pro life sites. Of course MadMike never paid me for my works of art though.
I don;t love no Muslims. They go on about themselves not being the bad ones only the other yet they downt say naught abot the other. They just as bad.
The fact is these republicans are really like this. I know this is satire but it’s also fact with regard to what Joe is “channeling.”
Joe I wish I could write like you. You have such a unique style and I’m inclined to believe that you believe, but I know better. I’ve been following you over here for a few years. Thanks for the smile.
Bill O’Reilly is a charlatan and a scumbag and I don’t think you’re a scumbag Joe 🙂
I assume this is satire! Surely no one could be that evil? Even Republicans.
Joe, I see you’re getting ready to spread the GOP vitriol along with the Republican presidential candidates. As a Canadian the vast majority of us continue to laugh at America and its right wing fundamentalists who are preparing to take over the world with their warmongering, bigotry and utter nonsense. Are you sure you posted this in the proper blog? Can’t wait to read all the forthcoming comments. Make sure you don’t bring any homemade clocks to work. Have a continuous hateful day! Or, maybe you just haven’t had your coffee yet.
I would have responded sooner but I was at the clinic waiting for all the Canadians who came to America for health care cause they wanted to pay more for it here Rick.
Breitbart won’t let me post there cause I’m too revealing of republican strategy. Not that the bigots, zealots and homophobes that make up the republican base care as long as we keep delivering the coded message of hating everything they hate.
I’m off to a tea party rally now where we’re going to demand low taxes and less government in a public park and Apaches and Cree and Sioux and the rest of the Indians go back where they came from. I here that’s a problem in Canada also.