Brexit: Are We Nearly There Yet?

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business-english_news-37-brexit_coverIf you have kids you will have heard the interminable question on a day out or en route to a holiday destination. “Are we nearly there yet?” – “No! We’re only just reversing out of the driveway so shut up!”.  Brexit, as it is now named, otherwise the decision of the British people to leave the European Union, is not ‘nearly there yet’ either.

Apparently we have to invoke ‘article 50’ – and no, I have no idea what that actually is other than, until we instigate it we aren’t actually leaving. Well, we are, but, until this article 50 thing is invoked we are just leaving in the sense that we are leaving as opposed to the sense that we are actually leaving.

Or something like that.

The British Prime Minister, Saint Theresa May, or indeed, may not, get around to invoking article 50 sometime early next year but, as some EU leaders are insisting we do it soon we may well not do it this millenium just to piss them off a bit more. And why not?

The people who voted ‘remain’ have now been christened ‘The Remoaners’ mainly because they are sulking terribly due to the fact they lost the referendum. Many are demanding a second referendum presumably as they hope they might win.

Unfortunately for them they won’t get one as we hate sore losers.

Much to the surprise of almost everyone who wished to remain in the EU, no meteor has, as yet, struck London. Neither has the expected zombie apocalypse occurred.

More to the point in realistic terms, Britain has not plummeted into economic turmoil and, seemingly, it is slowly dawning on everyone that, actually, we will be just fine and dandy without our EU membership.

Mind you, it is, of course, early days so eyes may occasionally be cast skywards for that tell tale asteroid.

So, what has Brexit meant for the ordinary person?

Bugger all actually mainly because until article 50 is invoked we are still paying the EU megabucks and immigration is still uncontrolled.

One very unfortunate side effect of Brexit seems to be an increase in ‘hate crimes’ against those who are not deemed ‘British’. Now, if said hate crimes are against Eastern Europeans, evil as they are (that’s the hate crimes not the Eastern Europeans obviously), there is a certain logic to them as Eastern Europeans are here due to the EU’s free movement of EU citizens policies. Hate crimes against Asians or Black people have also risen which suggests that the idiot racist rump are feeling empowered by the Brexit decision.

Someone or other on the radio the other day said, regarding Brexit, “We live in interesting times”.

Well, I can only conclude that, whoever they were, they live a very boring life. Personally, I’ve already moved on from Brexit. Life’s too short to spend two bloody years negotiating with the EU. Just tell them to piss off, stop sending them money, control immigration, tell them that if they introduce tariffs on British goods we’ll bankrupt the German car manufacturers and French wine producers (we could too you know) and that’s it. Job done. Get on with it Saint Theresa. We’re already bored of it.

I am rather worried about this empowerment of the racist rump though. That isn’t something anyone considered I suspect.

We need to sort this out and quickly.

Hard working Poles, for example, deserve much much better from Britain. They certainly don’t deserve to suffer at the hands of idiot racists.

Neither, come to that, do Romanians albeit I doubt many are hard working – well not in the legal sense anyway. At least the one’s I’ve come across haven’t been working and paying taxes legally.

Even so, they don’t deserve racist abuse. Kicking out yes but not racist abuse.

A Somalian pal – and yes I do have a Somalian pal – made me laugh out loud the other day.

He was walking along when three pimply faced youths accosted him and shouted “We’re out of the EU now! Go back where you came from!”

He considered offering them a free geography lesson regarding the distance from the EU to Somalia but decided against it. As he pointed out to me, the EU still holds grandiose plans about extending it’s membership so who is to say that, one day, Somalia might not pop up on it’s bizarre radar.

So, dear readers, Britain is no longer a member of The European Union. Except we are until article 50 is triggered and, even then apparently, it may be 2 years before we aren’t members.

Welcome to Limbo Land.

Maybe we should rechristen Britain ‘Limbo Land’ then we could just leave instantly as The EU would no longer recognise the country.

Rule Britannia! God Save The Queen! and don’t forget, Limbo Land is, apparently, open for business.

About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.
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Admin
7 years ago

I’m not convinced that Brexit has led to a significant increase in racism. There has always been racism in the world, and I suspect there always will be. While the political winds occasionally blow in different directions, I don’t think, in this case at least, they are creating racists. They’ve always been there.

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