An Open Letter to Melania Trump

Read Time:3 Minute, 59 Second

melaniatrump_010616douglasfriedman

Dear Melania,

You don’t know me, but after everything that’s been going on in this election cycle, I thought it might be a good idea to reach out to you in the hopes that I could bring you to your senses.

Granted, I don’t actually know you personally, but you seem like a sweet woman. Better than a jag-off like your husband deserves. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but at this point, I need to be brutally honest because I think it may be the only real way to get through to you. So when I say your husband, Donald J. Trump, is a bad guy, you need to listen to me. You need to dump his ass, now. It can’t be later, or tomorrow, or next week, or after the election- it has to be right NOW.

You’ll never have a better chance to get out then you do at this moment. The Donald has never been more vulnerable than he is now, and I’ll tell you why- he’s faltering in the polls, he’s being crushed in the press, and he has multiple women dogging him over allegations of sexual harassment- some of which occurred when you first married him. If you were to leave, it would completely devastate him.

Think about it- you really have nothing to lose. In fact, you could come out a big winner here. You may have an ironclad prenuptial agreement, but I’m pretty sure with the right lawyer, you can get more than what you were promised, especially since your husband is a complete scuzzball who has violated his marriage vows multiple times. A sympathetic judge might even negate your agreement altogether.

Though he may think otherwise, the Donald is not a particularly smart guy. I mean, he SERIOUSLY thought he could run for the presidency and not have all his skeletons come screaming out of the closet. As the election went on, the press and the media gave your husband all the attention he could ask for and more, thinking he was manipulating them when the truth is, they were giving him miles and miles of rope with which to hang himself. And not only did he jump off the gallows, he took a running start. I’m only surprised he hasn’t lit himself on fire first.

I know the draw of becoming the First Lady of the United States must have been all kinds of flattering, and if your nitwit of a husband had a chance of winning, you may have added a touch of class to his presidency, but the chances of that happening are Hell and gone and fading on a daily basis. He’s going down in flames, and believe me; you don’t to be dragged down with him.

You also have your son, Barron, to think of. Do you really want him to be raised by a guy who treats women like objects and walking sex toys? Is that what you want? Almost ANYBODY would make a better father figure- Darth Vader, for instance.

The Donald doesn’t love you. You’re nothing but a showpiece to him. Look at the way he showed you off at the RNC a few months ago- it was like he was presenting a purebred at the dog show, and the only thing missing was a diamond-studded collar around your throat. I mean, wasn’t it humiliating enough to be called out for plagiarizing Michelle Obama’s 2008 convention speech? No wonder you haven’t been seen on the campaign trail very much since then. If I were you, I’d have sealed myself up in Trump Tower and waited for a real prince to come on his white horse to save me.

Listen, I get why you married him- he’s a billionaire, (or so he says,) and you wanted an easy life. But here’s the thing- he ain’t the only rich guy on the planet, and you could do way better. Hell, you could marry some old white guy with bank and wait for him to die. It worked for Anna Nicole Smith.

Don’t bother telling me you married Donald for love, because he’s so toxic, NOBODY can love him. The only reason his kids put up with him is because of the money and the prestige of his name, such as it is. You aren’t part of a brand- you’re a human being.

So do yourself a favor- get out now while you still can. Go and find someone who will love you for who you are. You’re better than this.

Who knows? Maybe Mark Cuban is single.

Signed,

A friend.

About Post Author

Gregory B. Gonzalez

Gregory B. Gonzalez is an angry black man who isn't actually black. No, really- he told us to say that! His parents once had him tested for Tourette's, but when the doctor came back with his results, he said, "No, he's fine. Your son is just an a**hole!" It's been downhill ever since. He lives like the Unabomber, only without the explosives. Feel free to contact him provided you can actually locate him. Just keep in mind that he'll probably make fun of you to your face. We here at MMA can't stand him, so if you want him, he's all yours!
Happy
Happy
0 %
Sad
Sad
0 %
Excited
Excited
0 %
Sleepy
Sleepy
0 %
Angry
Angry
0 %
Surprise
Surprise
0 %
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of

7 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
6 years ago

… [Trackback]

[…] Find More Informations here: madmikesamerica.com/2016/10/an-open-letter-to-melania-trump/ […]

jess
7 years ago

So she should wait in a tower for another “prince to rescue her” Gregory? Harrumph, why can she not rescue her self, she does not need saving after having seen what he is an abusive, misogynistic twatwaffle. Mark has been married since 2002 btw. Me myself and I are thinking when this election is done, she will file for divorce using his rapey assaulty statements as evidence he isn’t a good guy to get more than her pre nup spells out.
I know my own pre nup has a caveat in there, for either one of us being cheaty mccheatertons slut von sluttertons. If I do it, I would have to pay him more than is already in there and if he does, he doesn’t get shit from me if I file for divorce.

Gregory B Gonzalez
Reply to  jess
7 years ago

I believe I said, “If I were you,” Jess. If anything, what she should do is smother that dickhead in his sleep!

jess
Reply to  Gregory B Gonzalez
7 years ago

Did you not see Governor Lepetomane’s Harrumph my good man. Nah that would be too much work for her to kill that bastard. His life is going in the shitter as of now, so he’ll get his and it does look like he is one cheeseburger away from a stroke or heart attack so there is that.

Gregory B Gonzalez
Reply to  jess
7 years ago

I’d rather it hit sooner than later.

7 years ago

Excellent article Gregory. I always thought Melania was much too classy for the Orange Anus.

Gregory B Gonzalez
Reply to  Timmy Mahoney
7 years ago

I dunno about classy, Tim, but she sure needs better taste!

Previous post Time For A Revolution
Next post Breaking News: Trump Is Okay With Guys Cause He Only Gropes Beautiful Women
7
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x