Donald Trump Issues Defiant Apology For Vulgar Remarks and Immediately Attacks Bill Clinton

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Just months after marrying Melania, Donald Trump admits to attempting to seduce and sleep with a married woman and says he failed. (But I thought he was a winner?!) Then he goes on to say that he can grope and grab women or kiss them without asking, because he’s a star and they let him.

When the story leaked, Trump issued something that he thinks resembles an apology. I doubt he’d know what a real apology was if it came up and bit him in his sizable orange posterior. He apologized but only IF someone was offended. IF!?!? Um. You mean like just about anybody who IS a woman, knows a woman, or has ever seen a woman?! He then pivoted and said Bill Clinton has said worse on the golf course with him. Funny thing about that. No one but the Tangerine Toddler has heard that story until now. Coincidence? Oh, and there’s no hot mic audio of Bill saying that, either. Guess we’ll just have to just trust him and his “best memory in the world”. ????

This comes on the heels of three Playboy soft core porn movies featuring Trump cameos. So, Evangelicals, tell me why this guy is your choice? An admitted adulterer who brags about trying to sleep with married women while being married just two months to the “love of his life” (for the third time)? Who describes, in detail, habits and behaviors that would lead anyone with more than three firing synapses to believe he’s a pro at sexual harassment and assault.

In summation: This candidate has used the tried and true “b-b-b-but he started it” defense and is now using the “yeah, but this other guy said way worse stuff one time when no one else was around” maneuver. I’ve called him the Tangerine Toddler for quite a while. He’s a schoolyard bully, who exhibits childish behavior, and immature vocabulary and tactics.

About Post Author

Josh Fielder

Josh Fielder is from Central Virginia and when he's not driving his RV cross-country, writing short stories under the pen-name Hack Kerouac, or saving turtles, he writes articles designed to help sufferers of Cranial Rectal Inversion.
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