Donald Trump: Your End Is Our Beginning

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USA-ELECTION/TRUMPWe are now nine days away from choosing the next President of the United States. That being the case, I thought we could have a serious chat about the republican nominee, Donald J. Trump. Over the past year, I’ve spent a good chunk of time entertaining you by making fun of him, his ridiculous positions, his family, and anything else that popped into my head. I’ve enjoyed myself, and judging from your enthusiastic support, I know you guys have enjoyed it as well. I thank you for that.

Since we’re so close to the end, I wanted to take a minute to remind you of all the reasons why this man should not be the next leader of our country.

First and foremost, Trump has no experience in Government. I know his followers will say that’s part of his appeal, but the truth is, wouldn’t you rather have someone in the oval office that knows what they’re doing? George W. Bush was the worst president in modern history, but at least he had some inkling of what he was getting himself into. Trump is not a leader- he delegates what he wants done and then washes his hands of the matter, like any good CEO. That way, if the deal goes south, he can deny responsibility. Why else do you think he’s gone through three campaign managers this whole time? Or perhaps I should put it another way- if you had a brain tumor that needed to be removed by surgery, would you rather have it done by a neurologist who was trained for that procedure, or a proctologist who’s gonna go in through your butthole? I know a lot of people have their brains in their ass, but that’s a little extreme, don’t you think?

Despite spending his schooling years in a military academy, Trump also has no military experience. Though he was drafted to serve in the Vietnam conflict, he chickened out and got four medical deferments due to ‘bone spurs’ in his feet- a condition that has never seemed to bother him since. And no, Donald has no idea how to defeat ISIS or knows how to handle any other military conflict that might pop up. His idea of how to get rid of terrorism is by killing innocent families and torturing people by waterboarding them- a tactic that doesn’t produce any significant results and has already been outlawed by our Government. Even if he did use those kinds of brutal tactics, the only thing he would accomplish is making the problem worse. Because unless you plan on bombing cities and towns to rubble and killing off every single inhabitant of those regions, the children of those conflicts will grow up, and they will remember. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I want the codes for our nuclear arsenal in the hands of a guy who has a shit-fit at three in the morning and decides to nuke Tehran now that he has something other than Twitter to play with. Especially since he has no idea how much damage he can do to the planet just by firing off a single ICBM.

I’m not really sure why Trump is considered a ‘business genius.’ From everything I’ve learned of the man, he doesn’t seem like much more than a glorified con artist to me. Most of his legitimate business ventures have gone belly up, and he went bankrupt four times. So you tell me- does that sound like success to you? His only true business before running for the presidency was by leasing out his name and sticking it on anything he can sell. That’s hardly what I call a business visionary. What’s he really going to do for America, anyway? Ship what’s left of our manufacturing outside of the U.S., re-import it back, and have it stamped, “Made in the USA?” because that’s what it sounds like.

If Donald Trump really had this country’s best interests at heart, he wouldn’t have divided it from the moment he started running. I said it in the beginning of his campaign- alienating the Latino voters was a colossal mistake. They are a huge voting block in this country now, more so than at any other point in the last twenty years, and Trump calling them “killers, drug-dealers, thieves, and rapists” was beyond moronic. That would be like me saying anyone of German descent is a fascistic, incestuous, egomaniacal gasbag with delusions of grandeur. Granted, one of us could be right, but it certainly wouldn’t be Trump.

It certainly doesn’t seem as if Trump wants to embrace any other color of this country if it isn’t white, now does it? I mean, when groups like the Ku Klux Klan endorse you, it doesn’t sound like you’re going to be invited to the local Black Lives Matter pancake breakfast anytime soon. I won’t even mention his proposed ban on Muslims entering the U.S. But you know what I’m talking about.

As far as the Donald’s troubles with the fairer sex go…. I don’t even know where to start. It would be so easy to make fun of him for things like his twisted attraction to his daughter, Ivanka, or the video of him admitting how much he enjoys molesting women, or the twelve women who have bravely come out to accuse him of sexual assault, but I won’t. It’s getting old. Besides, I’m trying to abstain from jokes in this piece. However, I will break the monotony by making this observation- Do you ever wonder if Bill Cosby is watching all of this, keeping his fingers crossed, and saying to himself, “Fifty-one! Make it to fifty-one, you orange-colored prick! Maybe then everybody will forget about me!”

Anything is possible, I guess.

The thing is, you already know all of the above. You already know what a horrible human being Trump is. If you’re still an undecided voter, then all I can say is that you must be that same idiot standing in front of me in the line at Starbucks, trying to decide what to order. The one I’m trying REALLY hard not to beat to death by grabbing a nearby mug and caving your skull in with it. Pick a side, will you? You know what they say- you can’t walk in the middle of the highway forever; sooner or later, somebody is going to run you over. Hopefully it’s going to be me.

So much for me trying to be serious.

At this juncture, I think everyone reading this has that ONE friend who supports Trump, and if you’re anything like me, you probably want to stroke out from wondering how fucking stupid they are for doing so. It doesn’t matter what you say to convince them otherwise- they won’t listen to you. It’s like they’ve been converted into a pod person from Planet Moron. You’d have better luck converting a scientologist. Right about now, David Miscavage is calling Trump and begging to know his secrets on how to recruit people.

For anyone who points out that Trump has ‘opened our eyes to the corruption of our political system’, I’ve got some news for you- HE REALLY HASN’T. Bernie Sanders was the one who did that. But here’s the difference between Bernie and Trump: Bernie still believes in the system, and he didn’t whine like a little bitch when he lost. The only thing Trump has accomplished is to reveal that a large percentage of the population needs to grow the Hell up and get a brain.

Even though the world seems darker, if you know where to stop and look, it is trying to right itself. Hope is all around you- all you need to do is tap into it. Hillary Clinton may not be our first choice, but for now, she is the best choice. I don’t expect her to make any lasting change, but I at least expect her to not ring in the apocalypse.

For anyone supporting Trump who reads this, I want you to ask yourself- do you really have nothing but loathing and hate in your heart? Are you the kind of person who only cares about what’s important to you and not your neighbor? Do you want to live in a world where you have to cower in fear and be suspicious of everything and everyone around you? If so, I pity you. I truly do.

If you truly want change, you have to get involved. Bitching about it accomplishes nothing. You want to take the first step? Then vote on November 8th.

Oh, and if you’re voting for Trump, don’t forget that your day to vote is  November 28th.

About Post Author

Gregory B. Gonzalez

Gregory B. Gonzalez is an angry black man who isn't actually black. No, really- he told us to say that! His parents once had him tested for Tourette's, but when the doctor came back with his results, he said, "No, he's fine. Your son is just an a**hole!" It's been downhill ever since. He lives like the Unabomber, only without the explosives. Feel free to contact him provided you can actually locate him. Just keep in mind that he'll probably make fun of you to your face. We here at MMA can't stand him, so if you want him, he's all yours!
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jess
7 years ago

Lost a friend or two this election because of my Hillary support. Meh, I’ve picked up more so I am good with that didn’t need them anyway. I mailed in my ballot already and now I am driving people to early voting with gusto. Hubby will be an election lawyerly volunteer on the day itself, as he has been the last two or three elections and I’ll be making last minute calls to people to get up off their asses and go vote. Won’t say it like that but will gently persuade them to get out the vote.

Admin
7 years ago

I actually do have a couple of old friends who are supporting the Orange One. It’s disappointing, but these aren’t the kind of people you can block. I will be doing my part tomorrow by attending Hillary Clinton’s rally at Kent State University tomorrow, and, of course, casting my vote for her on November 8th. Good read.

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