That Doesn’t Belong to You: The Ute Native American Land Grab

I have to be honest here- I’m pretty weak on pet causes, even for a liberal. I’m not much for protesting, and going door to door is too much work. I’m just your basic pessimistic hero waiting for the sky to fall. So last week, I got a message from an old friend asking me to lend my support to a petition he was circulating to stop the federal government from seizing 100,000 acres of Indian land and turning it over to private contractors so they can drill for oil and mine for uranium deposits. Then he asked me if I would mind writing a story about it. My first thought was, “Are you sure you got the right guy here? Even though they call me a citizen journalist, I only specialize in making fun of republicans and telling dick and fart jokes!”

That was good enough for him, apparently.

My problem became significantly more complicated when I realized I would actually have to do some research on the subject, because the plain fact is, I didn’t know jack shit about the Ute Indian tribe or why the Feds wanted their land. I mean, the white man has been screwing the Indian nations since the dawn of time, so why should this be any different, and why should I care?

From my perspective, here’s why: The bill currently being floated in Congress was created by two scumbag republicans- Rep. Jason Cheffetz and Rob Bishop. Since I hate republicans on every conceivable level, anything I can do to humiliate them is a bandwagon I’m happy to jump on. And let’s face it- if they’re willing to go to bat for the oil and gas companies, you just know they are going to get a slice of the pie for their efforts. The republicans never do anything that doesn’t line their own pockets. Also, mining for uranium would do so much damage to surrounding environment that it would never recover. Lastly, I’m not in favor of land being taken away from a people to whom it is spiritually sacred.

The Ute and other Indian tribes have occupied that land for thousands of years. It is where they hunt, where their ancestors are buried, where they gather herbs, and commune with nature. It is their home. In the past two years alone, the Ute have had to deal with multiple desecrations of their burial and sacred grounds, with little to no help from the authorities. The land is also dotted with oil wells in areas bordering them, despoiling the air with the smell of petroleum fumes.

The big draw isn’t so much the possibility of finding any big oil deposits, but that the Ute land might be rich in uranium. Currently, the United States only produces around 4% of the world’s uranium, and since Canada and Australia are two of the biggest (and most heavily regulated) sources of it, you can see why it would be appealing to the mining companies to have access to any new sources in the continental United States.

Not having any clue what is involved in the process of mining and refining a radioactive element; I consulted a friend who just so happens to be a geologist. She said, “The biggest risk of mining uranium comes from radon emissions, which is highest when using open mines rather than mining underground. Properly regulated, the risk can be basically eliminated. The only problem with using an open mine is that it will disrupt the surrounding land for the duration of mining, displacing flora, fauna, and destroying the natural landscape.”

Oooookay. Now I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds pretty bad to me. If I had to dumb it down for everyone including myself, I would re-interpret it to say, “Hey- if you dig for this shit, you’re gonna kill everything within a ten mile radius and earn yourself a permanent orange afro!”

Then there’s also the fact that they want to open the land to the general public so white people can tear through it on their ATV cycles like it’s The Road Warrior come to life. What, are they really THAT bored waiting for the NASCAR season to start? Seriously- is NOTHING sacred anymore? Can’t we just leave these people the Hell alone?

The bottom line is, this shouldn’t even be an issue. The only reason Cheffetz and Bishop are trying to appropriate the land is for money- plain and simple. Don’t hand me this happy horseshit about ‘developing the region for commercial and recreational use to create more opportunity for all the people of the great state of Utah.’ If the Ute were sitting on 100,000 acres of worthless scrub brush, they wouldn’t give a flying fig about it.

President Obama needs to get off his ass and declare the Ute tribal lands a national monument.

At the end of the day, we don’t need to consume every resource on the planet. We should take a cue from the Indians- we need to live in harmony with nature, not bend it over and rape it.

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