‘DILLIGAF’ Is My New Year Resolution

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As I sit here in my man cave typing this article I suddenly realised that I have no idea what is going on. Seriously. I have no idea. Usually I have some semblance of an idea but, as I sit here typing, I have realised that at this precise moment in time I haven’t a Scooby. (That is Cockney rhyming slang for ‘haven’t a clue’ as in ‘Scooby Doo’ for the uninitiated in such matters).

Over Christmas and the New Year festivities I have, quite by chance, hardly caught any news programmes. Neither have I read any newspapers. Come to that I haven’t even been on the internet other than Facebook to post pictures of me being drunk.

In fact, if it wasn’t for the clear and reasonable point that I am here living and breathing the world could have ended and I would have been none the wiser. Dead certainly but none the wiser.

This is, to me, a slightly bizarre scenario. I have always prided myself on being ‘up to date’ and ‘knowledgeable about world affairs’ and, not to put too fine a point on it, ‘aware of what the fuck is happening’.

So, what the fuck is happening?

I am aware that Carrie Fisher died and her mother died the following day. I am aware that some Islamic State nutter murdered thirty odd people in a Turkish nightclub. I am even aware that two young girls in my home town of Oldham died after a hit and run road accident and yet I have just realised that, through Christmas and the New Year celebrations I have somehow failed to remain aware of hardly anything outside of my personal enjoyment along with my family’s enjoyment.

Should I feel guilty about this? I hope not because, to be honest, I couldn’t care less.

Being oblivious is actually quite enjoyable – possibly because being oblivious means you are so unaware that you can actually be happy as you aren’t worrying about the world anymore.

I think that is my New Year Resolution. Make DILLIGAF? I mean DILLIGAF? (Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck?)

Perhaps that is the secret to a happy life. Be totally unaware of everything that could make you unhappy, worried, scared, angry or generally discombobulated – I think that’s a word but, if it isn’t, it should be.

I am, as I type, completely discombobulated. I have very little idea what is going on because I have not actually listened or looked since Christmas and only caught the odd snippet on TV – ie the two girls in Oldham, Carrie Fisher / Debbie Reynolds and a Turkish night club bombing.

I only caught those bits as the TV news was still on when we switched on to watch a movie or something.

I find I am so very very happy and, indeed, calm as I type.

I have no idea what is going on currently regarding Trump, Brexit, Islamic State (barring the Turkish nightclub bit), Russia, North Korea, murders, rapes, riots, shootings, stabbings or general mayhem.

I have no idea what humanity is up to and, if I’m honest, I really do like this unexpected and unplanned state of complete and total ignorance.

Obviously, if I continue in this state I may find it difficult to write for MMA although, on the other hand, you may find it interesting to read what a completely ignorant idiot thinks. Who knows? Perhaps we’ll see over time?

Mind you, you might already think I’m an ignorant idiot so if that’s the case, no change there then eh? 😉

So. I would like to wish you a very Happy New Year because, as far as I know, everything in the world is rosy and just peachy. If it isn’t please don’t tell me. They say ‘ignorance is bliss’ and, frankly, I am feeling so blissful right now.

About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.
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Admin
7 years ago

I’ve not watched cable news (CNN or MSNBC) since November 9th. My life is better for it.

Bill Formby
7 years ago

You are correct. Ignorance is bliss and to some degree I have thought about the same thing. I likely have another 15 years left on this earth, even less if the Republicans have their way and make good health care available to only the uber wealthy, and after that it won’t matter much to me. If only I didn’t hate seeing such an asshole conning the the country and some of his henchmen continue to argue that what he is doing is either normal or a better way of doing things. It would not surprise me if Florida becomes a vacationland for the Russian KGB and the West coast becomes part of China. I feel quite sure that if there is a real Antichrist his name is Donald Trump.

Pearl Willoughby
7 years ago

It’s healthier not to expose oneself to this things which are troubling. Good luck.

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