Who’s the Real Snowflake?

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by Gregory B. Gonzalez

I always laugh when some Trump-supporting knuckle-dragger calls me a ‘snowflake’. I’m like, “Really? THAT’S the best insult you can throw at me? No wonder you have an IQ in the lower double digits!” Now think about that for a moment- these are the same people who believe Obamacare and the Affordable Care Act are two different things and think Fox News and Breitbart are credible sources of information. To say nothing of the fact that they blindly follow a man who gets butt-hurt every Saturday night when Alec Baldwin mocks him on television. Donald Trump is, as Bill Maher puts it- a whiny little bitch.

So I ask you, who is the real snowflake?

I’m not bitter or angry that Trump won the election. I’m not one of those people who was demanding a recount or begging the Electoral College to keep Trump from the White House. I already knew that would be a waste of time. I also wasn’t one of the shiny happy ‘glass is half-full’ idiots who chanted, “Let’s give Trump a chance!” Why? Because I knew for certain the Cheeto-faced Shitgibbon would screw things up. Hell, I don’t think the oddsmakers in Vegas were taking bets on whether or not Trump would have any success in his first hundred days. If anything, I’m beginning to wonder if the world will still be here in one hundred days!

I guess it’s a good thing ROGUE ONE already came out. I would have been super PISSED if Armageddon had hit before that. Then again, Trump didn’t have access to the nuclear codes yet. So much for finding out if THE LAST JEDI will suck as bad as THE FORCE AWAKENS did. But I digress.

Trump doesn’t live in reality, and neither do his followers. The tangerine twatwaffle is under the impression that the media is biased against him and anything they report is ‘fake news.’ Which would be fine with me if it weren’t for his brainwashed groupies who swallow his line of bullshit like it was being served up in a waffle cone. I don’t get it.

Being a part of the ‘dishonest media (a lofty characterization I don’t personally ascribe to,) I have to watch Trump’s antics even though he disgusts me to the point where I’d rather watch a snuff film instead of one his press conferences. If I could move to another country or better yet, hide in an underground bunker like in 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE until the year 2020, I probably would. Unfortunately, though, I need to pay attention to this shit in order to write about it.

Okay, so back to the whole thing about who’s the actual snowflake. By and large, most of the people I know who hate Trump aren’t disputing that he won the election, even if it was with the help of the Russians. We’re angry because Trump’s a dumbass who has no idea what he’s doing as President and has given control of our country to the corporations, the special interests, and the billionaires who funded his campaign. We’re also pissed that he instituted a ban against Muslims from entering our country, not to mention wanting to build a useless wall on our southern border that couldn’t keep out a mosquito. He has also insulted our allies around the world and praises Vladimir Putin like he gave Trump the most epic blowjob of all time. I can hardly believe it’s been less than a month.

But here’s the thing I don’t understand- Trump is in the oval office, yet he still refuses to accept that he lost the popular vote to Hillary Clinton. Whenever he appears on television, he will circle back around to claiming massive voter fraud to the tune of three million illegals that voted against him. With no evidence to back him up whatsoever, mind you. In his last press conference, he claimed to have won the Electoral College vote by the largest margin since Ronald Reagan in 1984, a fact one reporter called him out on as complete bullshit.

Trump’s response was, “Oh, that’s the information I was given.” Well, I hate to disappoint you, Chuckles, but you were given the WRONG information.

This nitwit cannot take the slightest bit of criticism for ANYTHING. The moment he hears or reads something he doesn’t like, he immediately takes to his Twitter feed and rants like a two-year old who doesn’t get his way.

What gets me is that his goon squad is so quick to defend him. Have you seen Kellyanne Conway lately? She’s beginning to look like one of the walking dead, for crying out loud. Most news shows refuse to interview her anymore because all she knows how to do is lie. Even Sean Spicer is beginning to lose it. I’m just waiting for him to stroke out at the podium, smoke blowing out of his ears.

As far as Stephen Miller goes, I think it won’t be long before the mothership comes back for him. Either that, or he’s such a dick that they kicked him out of the UFO and said, “Ugh, let the Earthlings deal with him!” Or better yet, perhaps we should dump him on top of Devils Tower, tied up with a note around his neck that says, “For your alien zoo!” I’d toss Donnie in there too, but I think he would be missed. Dammit.

Trump’s ego is so fragile and his need for public adoration so desperate that he held a rally to announce his bid for re-election in 2020. Do you get that? He hasn’t been in office a month, and he’s already running for president again! At the rate he’s going, I’m not sure if he’s got terminal dementia or the worst case of attention deficit disorder in human history. If you ask me, I don’t think he ever left the campaign trail. Dude, do us a favor- if you want to be on an endless road trip, buy yourself a Winnebago and fade into obscurity.

Trump doesn’t want the job; he just wants the title.

Like the rest of the sane majority in the country, I’m not looking forward to the next four years. I already lived through eight years of George W. Bush, and that was more than enough. As far as Trump’s cult of dunces goes, don’t bother debating them- you don’t speak the same language, nor share the same frame of reference. Hell, you don’t even live in the same reality. If one of the moron faithful call you a ‘snowflake’, don’t be insulted- take it as a badge of honor because you pissed them off by poking at their bubble.

Besides, I’d rather be a snowflake in an avalanche than a pile of shit. Shit gets flushed.

RESIST.

About Post Author

Gregory B. Gonzalez

Gregory B. Gonzalez is an angry black man who isn't actually black. No, really- he told us to say that! His parents once had him tested for Tourette's, but when the doctor came back with his results, he said, "No, he's fine. Your son is just an a**hole!" It's been downhill ever since. He lives like the Unabomber, only without the explosives. Feel free to contact him provided you can actually locate him. Just keep in mind that he'll probably make fun of you to your face. We here at MMA can't stand him, so if you want him, he's all yours!
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Glenn R. Geist
7 years ago

Snowflake indeed. The only consistent thing about Captain Dildo is his enumeration of his sins, faults and crimes as accusations against those he sees as his enemies. And he does see enemies!

7 years ago

[…]   From Gregory B. Gonzalez at MadMikesAmerica: […]

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