The ‘I Am Not Alt-Right Polka’
Read Time:5 Minute, 54 Second
by E.A. Blair
By almost any standard, the 1960s was an interesting decade, filled with change, turmoil and the toppling of old standards. Civil rights, hippies, the sexual revolution, music, popular culture and many other cultural elements emerged or got turned on their heads. It’s a fascinating time to look back on, even if, like me, you were only beginning to grasp the nuances of the world at large (I was born in 1957).
Until the Vietnam became such a polarizing issue, war was a big part of ‘60s popular culture, and it was almost exclusively World War II. Combat! (1962-67) 12 O’Clock High(1964-67) and The Rat Patrol(1966-1968) were three of the era’s television shows that had good ratins, especially among young, male baby boomers. Movies abounded as well, both at least partly factual, like The Great Escape (1963) or mostly fictional, like The Dirty Dozen* (1967).
Meanwhile, political and anti war themes started emerging in other areas of popular culture, most notably in standup comedy and popular music. Then, in 1965, an interesting convergence of two things occurred. One was that a new television series, Hogan’s Heroes, (1965-1971) taught Americans that not only was it okay to hate Nazis**, but also that it was okay, in fact more than okay, to laugh at them too (it had more seasons on the air than any of the aforementioned programs). The other was that Chad Mitchell left his eponymous trio and was replaced by a previously unknown singer/songwriter named Henry John Deutschendorf Jr., better known as John Denver (They also renamed themselves The Mitchell Trio).
By 1965, five years after their 1959 debut, The Chad Mitchell Trio had already established itself as an edgy purveyor of political satire with songs likeThe John Birch Society Fighting for the right to fight/The right fight for the Right!, and with Denver added to the mix, they continued mixing traditional folk music and political satire and took it even further.
The Mitchell Trio was probably not inspired or enabled by Hogan’s Heroes, so it was certainly just a coincidence, that a month before the series premiered, they released an album, That’s the Way It’s Gonna Be, with a song that was a real slap in the face to the WWII Nazis, and, more specifically, the phenomenon of Nazi denial. It was a sprightly little tune called The I Was Not A Nazi Polka and it lampooned the notion that German citizens were innocent bystanders during the years leading to and during WWII.
Irreverence is an American tradition, especially among those of a liberal persuasion, and so is the remake. So in the light of two great traditions, here is revised edition of The Mitchell Trio’s song, calculated for this meridian:
The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka***
As you travel through Der Schöne Drumpfland,
A melody will greet your ears.
It’s a melody that’s been around in Dtumpfland
For at least a couple years.
Each and ev’ry Fascist dances to the strain
Of The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka.
All without exception join in the refrain
Of The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka.
Bannon is a crazy we wanted to deport.
Sing The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka.
We thought that Mar-a-Lago was just a nice resort.
Sing The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka.
The supremacist is cultured, he does not like to fight.
The peaceful life is what he most enjoys.
For years, the racist people were utterly convinced
That the words “Heil Drumpf” were just a lot of noise!
I never shot an AntiFa or hit one with a car
Sing The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka.
Sing The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka.
Sing The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka.
Are you not a KKK? –I am not a KKK.
I Am Not an Alt-Right Polka.
Do you not love Charles Koch? –I do not love Charles Koch.
I Am Not an Alt-Right Polka.
Do you not despise non-whites? –I do not; some of my best friends…
I Am Not an Alt-Right Polka.
Do you not think Drumpf is great? –I do not…Drumpf? Drumpf who?
Drumpf who?
Ja, Drumpf who?
Jäckel, you’re putting me on.
Was ist bedeuten sie, “Putting me on”?
Are you kidding me or something?
Nein, I’m not kidding you. Drumpf who?
Donald Drumpf.
Should I know him? Is he a folksinger?
You don’t remember?
Nein, I don’t remember him. Who is he?
–Well,…
A childish man, very mean, so loud and unfair.
–Mm-mm.
Tiny hands, he never smiles, really awful hair.
–Nein; I never heard…
He has a girl, Melania, quite a trophy bride.
–Ah, ja, ja.
Is accused of many things which he all denied.
–Of course!
He’s the one who clapped his hands, then he jumped for joy.
–Ja!
When the news came to him he’s Putin’s little toy!
–Da, ser!
Democrats, to a one, think he is a jerk
Cause he’s trying to undo his predecessor’s work.
–Sehr gut!
“Today, the Republicans, tomorrow, the world! …tomorrow, the world! …tomorrow, the world! …tomorrow, the world!….tomorrow belongs to me!”
–I’ve never heard of him.
–Neither have I.
To our liberal allies let us raise a toast.
Sing The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka.
Sure there are some Alt-Rights, two or three at most.
Sing The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka.
We tried to throw out Bannon right from the very start.
That’s what ev’ry hist’ry book should tell.
We all hate Stephen Miller, Richard Spencer, too.
We believe as Lincoln did civil war is
hell…hell…hell…hell…..
Alt-Rights are as gentle as flowers in the spring.
Sing The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka.
Alt-Rights are just people who love to dance and sing.
Sing The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You there, you are not singing. Did you not like to sing? Tell me, you have mixed-race family members, nicht wahr? Sing!
Sing The I Am Not An Alt-Right Polka!
Heil Drumpf!
*To be fair, there was a factual basis behind this film, a demolition unit known as the Filthy Thirteen, but the movie was adapted from a fully fictional novel inspired by the group (many of their reported exploits were pure fantasy).
**Strictly speaking, the word “Nazi” should appear in all caps, because it started as an abbreviation for Nationalsozialismus, which was itself a shortened form of the party’s official name, the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei (NSDAP);or, in English: National-Socialist German Workers’ Party
***You can find the original lyrics here and a video of The Mitchell Trio performing it here.
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