Why Religion Is An Utter Waste Of Time
Read Time:3 Minute, 50 Second
by Neil Bamforth
Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism, Scientology, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Catholics and so on and so forth. What a load of complete and utter idiots aren’t they? They believe in an omnipotent God of one kind or another. They believe that when they shuffle off this mortal coil they will stand before their God and he will judge them and, with a bit of luck and a following wind, they will ascend to paradise.
I do respect the religious views of everyone, well, at least in the sense that I accept if someone wants to be a complete moron they are quite entitled to be. Clearly they are so afraid of death and not accepting that, once they die that’s it, lights out, no more sensory abilities, no more smelling the flowers, no more anything, they need something in their heads that assuages the fear.
I do understand and respect that, even if they are stupid. Fear can make you stupid I suppose.
God, Allah, Buddah and co aren’t going to be there for you when you snuff it you know? Seriously, they aren’t. They don’t exist. They are figments of your imagination. An imagination that has decided to believe in The Bible or The Koran or whatever weighty tome of gibberish you have chosen.
When you’re dead you’re dead people. Live with it.
Well, I could have worded that last sentence a bit better eh? 🙂
Why am I so anti-religion? I’ll tell you – you knew that bit was coming didn’t you?
There was a child. I knew him well. He asked God – as he happened to be Christian (well if he asked God then that stands to reason) but, I suppose, he could have been something else but, as fate had it, he was Christian – whether it would be too much trouble if God could intervene and stop his mother throwing him down the stairs at regular intervals.
He had no idea why his mother did this. He thought of asking his mother why but reasoned the response would be further bouncing down said stairs on his head. Generally the safest part for him to land in some ways 😉
He thought of asking the hospital doctor with whom he was on first name terms despite being only 5 years old. He decided the hospital doctor might repeat the question to his mother so he remained silent and agreed he had, yet again, tripped over at the top of the stairs.
He also asked, if it wasn’t too inconvenient, if he, God, would be so good as to stop said mother sticking a match into the end of his dick and lighting it whilst bath time was occurring.
He spent many years asking God to be omnipotent – well, he didn’t know what omnipotent meant and probably couldn’t even spell it then but you get my drift? – whether in His omnipotent way he could discreetly see fit to stop the mother hurting him.
God, being omnipotent, failed to check his answer phone and the Swan Vesta match company continued to enjoy unusually high profits.
Of course, those of a religious persuasion, Christian or otherwise, will always have an answer to such things.
God / Allah / Buddah et al cannot answer individual requests as they are not allowed to. That isn’t how faith works. You just retain your faith and all will be well.
Of course I could be wrong. Perhaps God does exist. Perhaps he’s Allah or Buddah. Perhaps He is actually a She? How do I know? Perhaps he’s a bloody Martian?
If the son of a bitch does and a certain child of my acquaintance ever meets him I can assure you said child will not be remotely interested in ascending to paradise. He will be only interested in telling God what a son of a bitch he is.
I know this to be true because the child told me so.
So, people of a religious persuasion. You are completely nuts.
I respect your right to be completely nuts. I respect your right as free human beings to believe in anything you want to.
It is your right to believe in garbage as it is my right to believe your beliefs are garbage.
Right. That’s got that off my chest.
I feel strangely elated now.
Odd.
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Recently heard that there is a third option to Pascal’s wager:
There IS an afterlife, but only for Atheists 😉
Who are pissed they were wrong 😉
I’ll be passed when I arrive 😀👍🍺🍺🍺
Pissed auto correct! Pissed! 😀🍺
LOL! Brilliant!
I don’t know if Buddhism is technically a religion. Buddhists don’t believe in a deity.
Buddhism does not believe in a diety. It’s a pity that it’s not a more mainstream belief, not violent enough I guess.
Exactly, so why do the Chinese hate it so much? Or am I messing up and thinking of something else?
The Chinese have a hard time calling the mainly Buddhist country of Tibet to heel. They invaded in the 1950s, forcing their spiritual leader, the Delai Lama to go into exile. The Chinese do not feel comfortable with passive resistance. The government in Beijing sulks if any western government entertains the Delai Lama, they do not want him given any credibility.
Plus he’s not fond of egg fried rice 😛
Why do you leave so many inane comments? You write decent articles then pepper the comments with silliness. Costs you your credibility you know.
I’ve credibility??? Wow!
Never take life too seriously mate. I don’t 😀🍺
Well, you’ve lost me as a reader. While there is room for fun on such forums, when the line is crossed into just plain silliness there’s not much point in wasting time arguing. I expect, given the emoticons you’re displaying, it’s clear you’re about half in the bag when commenting. I’ll not waste my time here.
Laughter beats serious mate. Only just opened my first bottle of beer as it happens.
I use what serious I’ve got in the articles. Then it’s fun time! – that’s the bit when you stop being serious and have a laugh?
All the best Ed x
Who’s the little fat fella with the bald head then?
It’s all about Jeepers! Or Akbar! Or, well shit, you know. The unicorns?
Not unicorns! Unicorns rule. Who can’t love a unicorn?
All hail the great Unicorn!
I happen to be one of those people who tries to leave the believers alone and ask them to leave me alone. I do not snarl at these folks unless they snarl first. Of course I am in somewhat of a bind, My son has his own ministry going and we have mutually agreed to not discuss the topic.
As the title said:
An utter waste of time.
See? I knew you’d agree wi me 😛
You don’t seem to like Mr Bamforth very much Bobbie. Curious. Of course you could be taling about religion but I think not. I happen to like the little story, but being an atheist I expect I would. Perhaps you are a religious?
I like Mr Bamforth, he speaks English as a second language, but that’s ok. You seem to be struggling a little with words, perhaps Mr Bamforth can help you out.
Eyup. Tha noes am a Lancy dunt that?
She loves me really 😀
Don’t call me mister…makes me feel old 😀
Mary Lee-Gruppen you are an idiot
Why does it seem like so many of these Bible Thumpers are illiterate? Is it just me?
Nope Ron, not just you. My soul is crushed, they don’t have any good wingnut trolls anymore. It’s frustrating as all get out when they come at us with mediocrity.
Let’s all pray for her…😂😂😂😂😂
Blessed are the meek until they wet their beak. Amen. Like that?
👍🍺
Jesus is our Lord and Saviour On Our earth and HE will save us!! You are a heathenous person and youf freinds too.
When the babby jeebee comes and tell us that we might believe it, otherwise fuck off till that time. thanks for your cooperation in this matter.
signed, youf freinds too.
Ha Ha! I needed that laugh. Thanks Jess!!
😂😂😂😂😂
Laugh all you will, you heathenous person you. Jesus sees everything, especially if you are masturbating, so be careful out there.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂….my tummy hurts…😂😂😂😂😂
ginger tea works for stomach aches. Hope this helps 😉
Well now! Where in the world did you come from? You must think you are somewhere else.
Recently an attractive young woman, with two children in tow, showed up at my front door. They appeared to be Middle Eastern and I was curious as to what this little family was doing on my doorstep. Then I saw it: A Watchtower pamphlet, accompanied by a bible. They were Jehovah’s Witnesses. I was initially disgusted by the ruse of using children to recruit to Jesus, and particularly these nutters, and almost hollered and screamed with my contempt for this organization and the magic deity. Because of the children, I didn’t, and just told them I was an Atheist. That shut down all discussion and they left. Religion: the scourge of humanity.
Spot on mate 👍
I recently had to deal with the holy rollers and it left me feeling just icky. I have never wanted to get out of a building faster when I got the third degree about being an atheist and wanting to do church services. HELLO!!! the person I need it for was a devout Christian and has been attending your church since he was baptized in it many years ago and it was his wishes I was following. That and the whole, we don’t expect you to pay for the priest and the service, but we do take donations cracked me up. Like the mafia, but in gowns and silly hats.
😂😂
Well, I never had such experiences nor anything even close, but the idea of some kind of universal deity began to seem dishonest at an early age, along with the Santa Claus / tooth fairy scam – but one pretends, at least for a while. Beginning to learn about the size and age of the universe was the clincher as it was for some astronomers of the renaissance.
Since so may people cook up gods or things to make faces at or grovel before or to be afraid of or identify with, perhaps it’s a defect of our brains, which after all are not designed for what we use them for.
Anyway, you’re correct in your assumptions and no one can supply evidence to the contrary unless it’s some silly fallacy or an outright lie.
Elation is deserved here.
👍cheers old bean 🍻