Hope Hicks Is A Great Republican with Lousy Taste in Men

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Hope Hicks exiting Air Force One. Pic by Vanityfair.com

by Joe Hagstrom

It would certainly be in good republican character for me to come to the defense of Hope Hicks’ boyfriend and fellow Trump Administration employee, Rob Porter. As Chief of Staff Kelly said, “he’s a good guy.”

He was shocked at these allegations of abuse that it appears he’d known about for months. Informed people are shocked that it took so long for information that Rob Porter packs a good punch to come out.
That Communications Director Hicks (There’s great irony in her title as I’ve never heard her communicate anything) had Porter as a boyfriend is really no surprise.

She hitched her wagon to President Trump’s horse long ago and we all know what a scumbag he is when it comes to women. And these narcissist types like Trump know how to chat up the chicks so it’s understandable Hope would fall under some kind of spell. I just hope she isn’t left alone with Putin. He’s a power-crazed dude himself and isn’t afraid to have someone that displeases him killed.

Hope’s current boyfriend didn’t go near that far. But it seems to be some kind of aphrodisiac to certain women. So I hope Ms. Hicks controls herself should she ever meet Putin.

Hope seems to be attracted to powerful Washington DC types that have checkered pasts. I recommend her next target be the disgraced Congressman Blake Farenthold.

The guy is rich like President Trump. He’s a serial harasser of women like Trump. It doesn’t appear he’s ever given a woman a black eye so that’s gotta be a plus. If Hope does get tired of him Blake doesn’t have a problem with taxpayers paying Hope a settlement.

Read: President Trump Has the Wisdom and Sexual Appetite of Solomon

We Republicans love taxpayers being on the hook for our screw ups. But most importantly, Blake will be leaving Congress soon so his opportunities to harass the chicks will significantly decrease. That and the fact that this dude is about as ugly as a carload of assholes going down the street backward would mean infidelity should not be a problem in this relationship.

I do wish Hope well. She is working hard to make America great again. I guess she is anyway. I see pictures of her now and then appearing to look serious as she’s walking somewhere.

President Reagan perfected that look while governor of California. Hope does it well and that’s helping America achieve greatness. All this and defending a boyfriend that gave a previous wife a black eye. A Republican woman we can be proud of.

About Post Author

Joe Hagstrom

Reformed Liberal now dedicated to saving world from Obamacare and Godless Atheists. Using MadMike's America to audition for high paying job with Fox News.
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Kevin R
6 years ago

With power being the aphrodisiac that it is I don’t blame Karen Pence for not allowing Mike to be around any of these men. No wonder he never knows what’s going on.

Timmy Mahoney
6 years ago

Trump said she was a great piece of ass. I don’t agree.

Ron Reed
6 years ago

Mueller is going to take her down, and it couldn’t be soon enough, unless he finds she was just an unwitting pawn.

Reply to  Ron Reed
6 years ago

Ignorance of the law is no excuse and I expect a lot of heads will roll, but sadly not Trump’s, despite the evidence. Congress doesn’t have the will for it.

Admin
6 years ago

Has anyone noticed most of them are blondes, including Hope from time to time? Reminiscent of the BDM (all girl branch) of Hitler Youth. Blondes were preferred and received privileged status.

jess
Reply to  Joe Hagstrom
6 years ago

I know right, like they deserve some kind of medal for doing the right fucking thing regarding harassment. Not just harassing women either, look at Hastert and that guy that was perving on male pages I forget his name right now, it disgusts me they have been able to get away with this for so long.
I just saw a blurb of Propaganda Barbie telling Jake Tapper she doesn’t know him and he could be like that. Nothing like a bot of whataboutism to change the subject they do not want to talk about.

** I do not advise doing this act of civil disobedience to anyone, unless you can afford the penalties and fines associated with it.

jess
Reply to  jess
6 years ago

shit, replying to myself because I forgot to remove the disclaimer. The asterisks were me saying, I would not be paying fed taxes owed this year till I am damn good and ready to pay them, penalties included because of this kind of shit going down and them doing nothing.

jess
6 years ago

Before this job, she was a model from Ivanka Trump’s line.
She was once linked to the odious Lewandowski also. Terrible taste in men but we all know why dolt45 keeps her around, she has the look of wife number 4 around her. Dolt45 apparently even told one of his male minions, she was the best piece of ass he would get. yeah. that is the kind of place where I would just love to work, people talking about me like I was a piece of meat come to life. They are all defending Porter as a really good guy they had no idea about and sorry, not sorry why is it the woman that gets all the blame for shit like this, when she is not the one that did the abuse. I know, it’s feminazi Jess with all her questions. According to Lady Trump the first, Ivana, dolt45 was abusive towards her, after she gave him the name of the doc that did his scalp reduction thing. They are all the same, willing to circle the wagons because they all know they have either done it in the past or would be willing to do it.

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