- CRITTER TALK
- NEWS I FIND INTERESTING
We Republicans love going back in history to justify our nonsense today. Trump is the biggest and greatest liar that has ever occupied the Oval Office. Even great than Republican Richard Nixon. In the greatest column that has to count for something. And if some leftie smart alec wants to make fun of this item of greatness we can smugly answer back that Abraham Lincoln, a Republican, is universally known as “Honest Abe.”
This is almost as great an argument settler for us Republicans as calling or opponent a libtard and enjoying the congratulations heaped upon us for this high-minded and scholarly debating point.
President Trump is very adept at puffing out his chest. Reagan and Bush II were outstanding at this also but Trump trump’s them because he wears long thin ties to make him look not as fat.
This bit of dishonesty about his fatness adds to his greatness for dishonesty. Republicans are proud of that. And there is no doubt that if Trump decided to be proud of his obesity his obesity would be greater than the obesity of President Taft. Regarded as the greatest obese President ever. And a Republican to boot.
We republicans appreciate President Trump’s striving for greatness in all presidential stuff. John Kennedy and Bill Clinton were regarded as great womanizers. Greater than Harding who did the nasty with his girlfriend in a White House closet. He was a Republican. Great republican and Founding Father Thomas Jefferson had Sally Hemmings. This is special since we can use his longtime affair with her as proof we Republicans aren’t racist. But till Trump, Kennedy and Clinton were regarded as the greatest philanderers.
Our great President not only kept his wives satisfied, he kept them satisfied while still married to the previous wives before they became exes. As well as grabbing countless women by their naughty bits and keeping a porn star satisfied while married to his current wife. That is greatness beyond what any other President who indulged in the forbidden fruit achieved.
And this answers the question as to why we Republicans just don’t like Mike Pence. By all accounts, Pence should be our dream. He speaks and thinks like a Republican should but he isn’t vulgar. Perhaps he should swear more.
He’s faithful to his wife. We don’t care about that unless it’s a Democrat and then we don’t care anyway since it didn’t help beat Bill Clinton. Maybe Pence should get a chick on the side.
Pence is a world-class chest puffer outer. No need to fix that.
I have noticed recently that some enjoy pointing out that when Pence, and Paul Ryan as well, gaze upon President Trump it appears as though they may be sexually aroused. Their gazes are more than just fawning. Ogling would be accurate. But we all looked at Reagan the same way when he was President.
A Republican can’t look at a picture of Reagan even today without a longing gaze and stirring in the loins. I have seen what looked to be Trump turning around when Pence and Ryan are behind him doing their stare thingy and signaling them to keep their eyes above the neck. Nobody looks at Pence that way. And that may be why Republicans don’t want to impeach Trump.
They don’t feel the man crush for Mike Pence. They felt it for Reagan. They didn’t feel it for Bush I and he only got one term. They felt it for Bush II for sure. But most of all they feel it for Donald Trump. The most beloved republican ever. He keeps telling them lies and giving them Arpege. If Pence wants to become President he better come up with some better lies and perfume for the Republican voters. And time is running out.
Soon Trump will claim the average size of the male sex organ has increased three inches since he became President. And he will repeat that whopper just like the others he tells enough so we believe it. Then even the Democrat males will vote for him.
I do agree it’s sad that a Nation that produced so many people who spoke so eloquently for our Country and what it means. We had great documents like the Declaration of Independence. The Monroe Doctrine. The Federalist Papers. The Gettysburg Address. The “I have a dream” speech. Reagan’s “Mr. Gorbachev; tear down this wall.” JFK’s “Ask not what your country can do for you. But what you can do for your country.” Obama’s “We are not white America. We are not Black America. We are the United States of America.”
All these and more great words were spoken by great people only to be trumped by a guy that gets reelected President because he said Americans have bigger dicks thanks to him. And we Republicans will proclaim the greatness of big American dicks while the little dick Mike Pence wonders what he could have done to become President.