Britain In the Good Old Days

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The good old days? Brits lounge at the seaside. Pic from AOL.UK.

by Neil Bamforth

Many Brits are criticized by other Brits for their apparent desire for the country to return to ‘the good old days’ of the 1950’s. These ‘good old days’ were, some would have us believe, far better than the decades that followed.

When you suggest to these believers in ‘the good old days’ that, actually, it is preferable to not have rickets and to be constantly doffing your cap to the upper classes they look aghast at your temerity to question their firm beliefs.

You can, of course, upset them even more by pointing out that, in the 1950’s, Britain was almost entirely white so, are they suggesting, in order to return to such wonderful days, Mohammed, who lives in Richmond, should be repatriated.

I have actually asked this of one of these ‘believers’ and, not entirely surprisingly, they said ‘Yes’.

They were most put out when I pointed out Mohammed was actually born in Manchester, therefore, would have to be repatriated from Richmond back up north.

The believers virtually go cross-eyed with confusion as their pea-like brains compute that Mohammed wasn’t born in Pakistan but in Rochdale so repatriating him to the country of his birth can’t be done as he’s already there.

I do ‘get it’. Do you?

These believers in the ‘good old days’ are my age and older.

The younger you are the more likely it is you have as much desire for the 1950’s as you do to have intimate relations with a porcupine.

The older you are the more ‘change’ becomes problematic. Your comfort zone vanishes before your eyes so the past becomes rosier in your mind than it ever was in reality.

Basically, old farts want everything the way they think everything should be which, as often as not, is the way things were when they were young.

An excellent example is a conversation between a son and his 80 odd-year-old mother regarding his daughter, her granddaughter.

To protect the guilty I may, or may not, know who these people are. The names have been changed.

“I thought you should know your grand daughter’s in a serious relationship”

“Oh! What’s his name?”

“John Bonetti”

“Bonetti?? What kind of a name is that?”

“Italian”

“Eee! Can’t she find a nice English lad?”

“He is English mother. His father’s Italian”

“Oh. Well. Not proper English then…”

“His mother’s very nice”

“Is she?”

“Yes. She’s half German”

“What? Italian? German?”

“Long divorced though. She remarried a lovely chap”

“Hope he’s English”

“Half actually”

“Half? What’s the other half?”

“Chinese”

A strange gurgling noise came over the telephone suggesting the mother’s comfort zone had disintegrated.

So you see, many older people have forgotten rickets and slums and people dropping dead from now treatable and often curable ailments.

They just remember when their granddaughters didn’t get serious with English/Italian/German chaps with half Chinese stepfathers.

Don’t be cross with them. They’ve lost their comfort zone and don’t understand why.

I’m now of an age where I sometimes wonder what happened to my comfort zone.

If I make it to 80 odd, God (or the deity of your choice) knows what I’ll make of it all.

I suppose when my grandchild if I’m so blessed, gets serious with a half Japanese half Polish adopted son of a half Pakistani half Irish father and half Outer Mongolian half Peruvian mother I’ll just gurgle down the telephone too.

“Ee, when I were a lad back in’t 60’s n’t 70’s it were so much better. National strikes, power cuts, food shortages, dying of influenza, hanging criminals, outside toilets, pervert school masters. Ee, those were’t days eh?”

Daft as brushes some of us old farts tha knows. Ain’t that the truth. 😜

About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.
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Glenn R. Geist
6 years ago

Well, I thought it was hilarious – and I’m likely older than you are and I certainly wish things were back to the way I imagine they must have been. You know when room and board were provided gratis, girls didn’t scream and run if I smiled at them – well most of them anyway – and I could walk into a showroom and buy a brand new Matchless or Ariel.

And you knew who you were then, girls were girls and men were men. Mister we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again. Those were the days.

Neil Bamforth
Reply to  Glenn R. Geist
6 years ago

😀👍

6 years ago

Funny. I’ve gurgled down some shit in my day and more to come I expect.

Neil Bamforth
Reply to  Ron Reed
6 years ago

Nice somebody’s got a sense of humor old bean! Gawd…aren’t they a serious bunch sometimes!

U. Yours
6 years ago

Mr Bamforth by the leader I was thinking what a nice article this will be but it weren’t really with you immigrants bashing and that’s what it is no matter the colour of your brush. Good on ya then. Dotty

Neil Bamforth
Reply to  U. Yours
6 years ago

??…..what are you waffling about?

How can making fun of older people (like me) be immigrant bashing???

You taken your meds?

jess
6 years ago

“I suppose when my grandchild if I’m so blessed, gets serious with a half Japanese half Polish adopted son of a half Pakistani half Irish father and half Outer Mongolian half Peruvian mother I’ll just gurgle down the telephone too”

Or you could..you know, say, I am so happy you have found someone to be happy alongside for a while on this blue ball we all call home grandchild, when can I meet him.

signed, Adopted half Indian(dot not feather) Puerto Rican with German/black ancestry raised by a whiter than white man and a half Japanese, half white woman.

Reply to  jess
6 years ago

Brilliant Jess! Pay attention to wisdom old bean…

jess
Reply to  Professor Mike
6 years ago

If only my dad could be here to see I did in fact use my head for more than a hatstand, I am certain he would be so proud 🙂 Well, prouder than he was, his lessons managed to get in through the other stuff.

Neil Bamforth
Reply to  Professor Mike
6 years ago

I’m taking the mickey out of older people like me. No attention needed old bean.

Neil Bamforth
Reply to  jess
6 years ago

As long as my grandchild supports Oldham Athletic FC I’ll be a happy grandad! 😜

Admin
6 years ago

People forget “the good old days.” They don’t really understand how technological changes have made life easier, safer, and generally better for all, and, in a few years, 2018 will be the “the good old days.”

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