Mike Pence: Antichrist of the Week

Hill_Pence

by Joe Hagstrom

A few posts ago I said that Trump son-in-law, Jared Kushner, could be the Antichrist. He had much of what we’re looking for in an Antichrist. Hot wife. Money. Nobody ever heard of him till Trump looked like he could win the presidential nomination so the case could be made he rose from someplace obscure.

He’s a great liar and has no issues with morality as he showed by lying about some apartments his business owned in New York so he could evict the poor people renting them and sell the buildings for a nice profit. Although I say it’s morally ambiguous to do things like this it really isn’t since it’s just trying to teach deadbeats and takers to be self-reliant. A few months of homelessness may be just what these moochers need to get them off welfare and rent assistance.

By considering Jared for Antichrist of the week, I acknowledge that even though I am a staunch, God-fearing Republican, I can certainly consider a fellow Republican as the Antichrist. The Antichrist is a deceiver and God knows the ranks of the Republican party are full of deceivers. President Trump is a grand deceiver. But he promised us greatness again and that’s what we wanted to hear rather than silly things like facts so let’s get great again.

There have been hundreds of people accused of being the Antichrist in my time on this flat planet that is orbited by the Sun. I remember the wonderful days of my youth when the names being bandied about were Brezhnev. Chairman Mao. The Ayatollah Khomeini. Even Jimmy Carter. I did hang with some kooks back then.

As history happened others were said to be the Antichrist. Khadaffi had his turn. Saddam Hussein. Hillary Clinton. President Obama was always on the list since he is black and that always raises suspicion among the conservative religious folk. Lately, though, we Antichrist conspiracists are in a tough spot since the obvious choice would be Putin except President Trump likes and kisses the satanic ass of Putin so we can’t have him as our current Antichrist. But he is one man, waiting in the wings that truly qualifies to be an antiChrist: Vice President Mike Pence.

I’ve shown that being a Republican doesn’t disqualify one from being the Antichrist. You have to be a deceiver. And who better to deceive us than a guy that looks like he’s not a deceiver. He looks like one looks when one thinks there’s a preacher close by. Elvis Presley perfected the “holy look” while posing for pictures for his gospel albums. Pence and other Republicans are required to study these poses before running for office so the can look holy. Face it. Mike Pence hates the poor. A holy look is an act.

One has to respect Pence’s fidelity to his marriage. But this is a ruse to deceive us. The Devil has removed sexual thoughts from Pence’s mind. I think he gave them to Trump. So unencumbered with sinful urges, Pence creates the aura of chaste republican who’s sexual encounters are easily counted by the number of children he has and the look of frustration on his wife’s face.

A key attribute an Antichrist must possess is patience. While he can guide a deception, he can’t hurry it along. Pence’s patience is the stuff of legends. He will take all the insults in silence. He will continue to look holy and spout meaningless drivel about tax cuts and deregulation and Jesus to make the people who believe that tax cuts, deregulation, and God will make everything alright. He will bide his time till President Trump goes so far that the Republican majority will have no choice but to remove him from office. But before any liberals get too giddy over this, know that I’ve pointed out many times that a Pence presidency may well be worse for liberals than Trump’s.

The great and wise Roseanne Arnold agrees with me. But remember also that Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell are, or pretend to be for their constituents, religious zealots. And they have probably given this subject as much thought as I, that Mike Pence could well be the Antichrist. At least this week anyway, and they are blocking impeachment proceedings to save us. One can hope these two are actually doing something for the good of the nation anyway. At least until they can get Social Security eliminated so we don’t have Social Security numbers which my fellow religious nutbag friends think are the number of the beast even though a Social Security number has 9 digits and the Beast’s number “666” only has three. But facts and logic don’t matter to us religious Republicans so good luck to our leaders working to stave off Armageddon. And good luck keeping Pence out of the Oval Office. At least until we come up with a new Antichrist next week.

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Posted by on March 25, 2018. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
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7 Responses to Mike Pence: Antichrist of the Week

  1. Michael John Scott Reply

    March 25, 2018 at 10:37 am

    I have to agree that Mike Pence is probably the Antichrist, so let’s hope he never occupies the fat man’s seat.

  2. Joe Hagstrom Reply

    March 25, 2018 at 10:53 am

    Yeah. He can be easily sold to the masses that don’t pay attention. He may well could win if he replaced Trump.

  3. Holte Ender Reply

    March 25, 2018 at 12:19 pm

    Joe what a tough call it must have been. I can’t argue with your choice of Pence, so many candidates for this dubious honor. I was forced to think who could stand up to this great evil, what person could confront these devils that populate this mad time in history? I couldn’t think of anyone.

  4. Joe Hagstrom Reply

    March 25, 2018 at 1:12 pm

    The young woman and man speaking out for the kids demanding gun safety look to be doing a damn good job Holte. I’ve never been one of the seek the wisdom of the children people but now I am.

  5. Timmy Mahoney Reply

    March 26, 2018 at 4:11 pm

    Everything you say is true but I still would rather the Antichrist than an idiot, because you just never know what the idiot is going to do. You can predict the Antichrist.

  6. Barry1949 Reply

    March 27, 2018 at 12:25 am

    Only good thing about him is he likes animals.

  7. Ann Reply

    December 6, 2018 at 8:12 pm

    My only quibble is that the AC is unlikely to be American. By the time it all kicks into full gear, we won’t be leading anything. And that’s assuming we still exist as a nation, which is starting to look doubtful.

    Don’t forget those three frogs that go out first and prepare the world for the coming of the AC. Any of them could be American.

    Oh, and the Beast’s number isn’t three digits. It’s three stacks of six digits each in a global identification number on a chip. The number of a man. The number of his name. A name is the first way we identify one another, and the global system is already mentioned in Revelation, that no one may buy or sell without the mark. Imagine a nano-chip that contains all of our medical, identity, and financial info–the end of all fraud and most crime. Sounds great if you don’t know any better.

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