Britain’s Brexit: Are We Nearly There Yet?

by Neil Bamforth

“Are we nearly there yet?” The dreaded cry from the back seat of the car from the bored kids ten minutes into the journey. We’ve all said it as kids haven’t we? We’ve all had it said to us by our kids, haven’t we? Well, it isn’t bored kids saying it from the back seat of the car now it’s us, the British people. We voted for Brexit – just – and, well, if it’s going to happen can’t we just get on with the bloody thing?

Apparently not.

We have to suffer interminable negotiations before the EU offers us a crap deal. We know they will, they know they will (what choice have they?) and yet on and on drone the negotiators as though it actually matters one jot.

The only people it matters to are the negotiators themselves who, no doubt, are earning a pretty penny throughout the negotiations.

The ‘Remainers’ – christened long ago as ‘Remoaners’ although I don’t use that term anymore myself – are still chuntering on that we can’t leave.

I understand. Losing isn’t easy. Trust me I know. My team, Oldham Athletic, have spent most of my life losing and have just been relegated to Division 2. I sympathize. I empathize. I understand the hurt. I feel your pain. Just stop it ok? You lost, we’re leaving, end of.

The latest jolly wheeze from the Remainers is to demand a second referendum based on the obviously crap deal the EU will eventually negotiate with us. In other words, we accept said crap deal or remain in the EU.

They’ve decided that calling it a second referendum doesn’t work so they’ve re-christened it ‘The Peoples Poll’ in the bizarre belief nobody will think it is the second referendum.

I’m startled the ‘leave camp’ haven’t scuppered this brainwave already.

No. ‘The Peoples Poll’ will not be a ‘we accept the crap deal or remain in the EU’ it will be a ‘we accept the crap deal or we just walk away without giving the EU a penny’.

In other words, by all means, let the people decide on the crap deal that is assuredly coming our way but no, deciding against it does not mean we stay in the EU, it means we wave bye bye without a deal, go straight into World Trade Organisation regulations and crack on from there.

Personally, I’ve become strangely ambivalent about leaving the EU. I still consider it too corrupt to ever be changed. I still feel horrified at the EU ambition for a politically and monetarily united Europe governed from Brussels. The thing is, young people, want it. Naively perhaps or perhaps not. It’s their future so I think we should give them the future they want.

After all, most of us ‘leavers’ will be long gone before the young people will.

Still. We do have to leave. We can’t not leave because the ultimate deal is crap as it will be. If we decline the deal, as we assuredly must, we just walk away.

By all means, ‘Remainers’, continue to campaign to rejoin. That’s democracy at work.

Did Labour stop campaigning because they lost the last general election? Not at all. In fact, they claimed to have won it. Don’t ask. It’s a Corbyn thing.

Will the American Democrats stop campaigning because Trump won? Apparently, he didn’t, they did. It was this electoral college malarky.

Anyway, Britain’s Labour and America’s Democrats lost even if they don’t think they did – a bit like ‘Remainers’ really – but they will keep on campaigning until they can win the next time.

That’s what you ‘remainers’ need to do. Accept we have to leave for democracies sake – because we voted to – then campaign vigorously to get us to rejoin.

As I said, I feel your pain. Losing is not nice but you did. You can’t win a race that is already lost. You lick your wounds and get into training for the next race. The next race doesn’t begin until we have actually left.

Precisely when that will happen remains a mystery so you’ve plenty of time to get your tactics worked out. Wherever we are regarding Brexit, I strongly suspect that we are not nearly there yet – so shut up in the back seat!

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