Avoiding the Cyclists: Britain’s Lycra Nazis
Read Time:2 Minute, 44 Second
Cycling is good for you. Getting on your bicycle and peddling around for a while is exercise and, of course, exercise is good for you. Pollution from motor vehicles is still alarmingly high in Britain so the more people who leave their cars at home and peddle around the better, from an environmental perspective as well as an exercise one.
Our ‘authorities’, quite rightly, actively encourage cycling and cycle lanes are becoming increasingly ubiquitous on our roads.
On the face of it, all well and good.
Of course, peddling around on a bicycle can be a dangerous thing to do. Thoughtless vehicle drivers kill a worrying number of cyclists every year.
Cyclists need as much protection on our roads as is humanly possible. Popping out for a nice peddle and getting flattened by a truck is not how it should be.
However, there is another side to this particular coin.
While nobody with a shred of common sense would argue against cyclists being kept safe on our roads, who keeps sensible motorists safe from the increasing numbers of cyclists many have begun describing as ‘lycra nazis’?
Mainly men, rarely women, clad themselves into tight-fitting lycra – as if impersonating a human condom – and then set off on their bicycles spreading mayhem wherever they peddle.
Red traffic lights? Red pedestrian lights? Speed restrictions? Road courtesy?
All of the above and more seem to be alien concepts to these lycra nazis.
They are on a bicycle, therefore, the entire world must get out of their way. Rules of any kind do not apply to human condoms hurtling around like Marvel superheroes with peddles and handlebars.
The real danger of the authorities failing to get a grip on these lycra nazis is that motorists will become so exasperated with them that they may well tar all cyclists with the same brush.
That could then result in even more cyclists injured or killed on our roads.
If people have the bizarre urge to dress like human condoms – although I do wish fat people like me would refrain – then fine. Whatever turns you on.
Do not, though, think that dressing like a wobbly Bradley Wiggins gives you the right to run over old grannies on pedestrian crossings nor frighten horses just because you think you’re in the Tour de France.
Richmond Park, not far away from me, allows vehicles to pass through at a maximum speed of 20mph.
Much to my delight a short while back, the Park Police stopped about a dozen lycra nazis for exceeding the speed limit.
Good!
More of the same please when they ignore the rules of the road.
Arresting them for wearing lycra when they have asses like an elephant would be good too – albeit not legal sadly.
A sunny day a while back I got stuck behind a huge behind in lycra. I thought it was a total eclipse!
Remember though, if you’re in a car, you’ll hurt them far more than they will you so, even if they’re behaving badly, just back off and let them find someone else to knock them off.
Then you can laugh without the guilt.
Happy
0 %
Sad
0 %
Excited
0 %
Sleepy
0 %
Angry
0 %
Surprise
0 %
0
0
I’m an avid cyclist, and have been for several decades and I could tell you stories about rude pedestrians and drivers that cares nothing about you on a designated bike path. This cuts both ways.
As I made clear in the article, responsible cyclists aren’t a problem.
Mamils* exist all over the place Neil. I see them a lot when I go ride and yes I do wear lycra shorts sometimes because they are way comfortable to ride for long distances. Oh and not for nothing…but fat people, if they are out working out by riding, won’t be fat people for long.
*Middle Age Men In Lycra
Mamils? LOL! Couple that pedalophile and it’s a good day 🙂
SERIOUSLY, you guys have never heard that expression. It’s because yer oldsz isn’t it 😉
Ha! Could be, or that we don’t live in Cali 🙂
I will use MAMILS from here on! 😀
Every word applies to my little county. They’re good at providing bike lanes and restricted bicycle paths away from the roads, but dontcha know, they prefer to ride three abreast on narrow roads because those wide, protected paths alongside are for girly men.
Hell no, I don’t wear lycra. Nobody wants to see that and I don’t wear one of those 1950s sci-fi flying saucers on my head either. But I don’t block bridges and roadways and blow through 4 way stops and act insulted if anyone objects.
It’s not the tour de frickin’ France guys. They close the roads for that and all those corporate logos on your leotards are fake. You don’t have sponsors for your morning ride although We may take up a collection for your funeral. Or maybe not.
You don’t wear a helmet when you ride. Please please Glenn wear one. I can tell you from personal experience, a helmet saved my life when I was thrown from a horse a few years ago, to me same thing as a bike. Had I not been wearing it, right now I would either be dead or at the very least, eating my dinner through straws.
I appreciate the concern. I always wear a helmet on my Harley, and back in the day at the drag strip, but my pedal bike du jour is a vintage Schwinn, complete with a tank and chrome fenders and balloon tires. One simply doesn’t do such a thing since it would cause accidents and other tragedies from people laughing instead of driving. Picture Peewee Herman with one of those goofy helmets. I mean really. And of course it’s better to look good than to feel good, right? 🙂
Pedalophile.
LOL!! I’d never heard that term but I do like it. Whaddaya say Neil old bean? Anyway, I’m also a “pedalophile” I expect as I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost been run down on the “hikers only” trails by these f*cking pedalos. You can’t always hear them coming so you spend time looking over your shoulder or being startled by “honk honk,” “beep, beep,” as they pedal upon you. I found rough, natural trails that go through the woods that prevent these “lycra nazis” from ruining my walks, but I should have to do that if I want to use the Metro Parks trails. Then there are those who think they own the highways, but I only have so much time so, I must declare: I AM A PEDALOPHILE 🙂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂…classic!!!