The Donald and His Emergency Message

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by Bill Formby

Donald Trump may be the death of me yet. I literally cannot stand the site of him or the sound of his voice. I have deactivated my Facebook account so I will not have to be subjected to the stupid, ignorant people who are constantly cheering the psychopath along at his every utterance. This man knows no shame and cannot recognize that there is a time when enough is too damn much.

Somehow, someone somewhere has come up with the brilliant idea to let the President send out national emergency messages that cannot be avoided. I suspect it was the chief Carrot Top himself but no one has explicitly said that yet. For the man who loves to hear himself talk what could be worse than giving him a way to speak to the entire population at any time he chooses (Remember he can call anything he wants a national disaster) that cannot be avoided.

It was scheduled to be tested later this month but that has been pushed back until November something. Imagine if you will, you and your family are just sitting down for a nice, joyful, pleasant Thanksgiving meal when suddenly everyone’s phones shriek an alert sound,

“Beep, Beep…”

…followed by,

“This is your president and I just felt it was urgent that everyone in the country heard from me on this wonderful day. I am here in the White House with my lovely family and we have just had our food blessed by a dozen Evangelical preachers and it a wonderful meal. We are having that beautiful turkey that I refused to pardon. He never liked me you know. And all the trimmings prepared by the wonderful cooks here at the White House. I had the Secret Service gather up all the friends of this turkey and had them delivered to members of my loyal staff. Both of them were very happy. I needed to remind everyone to thank me as part of their blessing. After all, I am doing such a wonderful job being your president. Most people are saying that I am the greatest president in history. I agree with them. No one could possibly do a better job at being president than I am doing. Now, everyone, you can now bless your food and eat. Have a wonderful day.”

“Beep, Beep.”

Meanwhile, the people in Puerto Rico are still without electricity or running water, and the Hurricane Florence victims are still digging out from the mud and flooding in North Carolina and South Carolina.

Please, someone, tell me that this is all just really bad nightmare and I will wake up soon and this will go away.

About Post Author

Bill Formby

Bill Formby, aka William A. Formby, PhD, aka Lazersedge is a former Marine and a former police officer. He is a retired University Educator who considers himself a moderate pragmatic progressive liberal, meaning that he thinks practically liberal, acts practically liberal, and he is not going to change in the near future. But, if he does he will be sure to let you know.
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Tall Stacey
5 years ago

I don’t know about you, but I pay by the minute for my cell phone usage. There is a cap on my data usage, after which I pay an exorbitant price. Is that son of a bitch gonns pay my phone charges for his can not opt out bullshit?

Screw him and the horse he rode in on…. oh, never mind the horse, he didn’t have a choice,

Reply to  Tall Stacey
5 years ago

Good point. I don’t pay by the minute and have unlimited data usage. Costs me all of $20 a month for the unlimited calling and data plan, and I never have to worry about it. Verizon.

E.A. Blair
5 years ago

Last I heard, this only applies to cell phones. Makes me glad I’ve hung on to my land line.

Bill Formby
Reply to  E.A. Blair
5 years ago

He would consider you too out of touch with reality E.A. Besides you know too much about that damned Constitution.

E.A. Blair
Reply to  Bill Formby
5 years ago

After I finished that series of articles, I found that I had memorized the topics of all 27 amendments. I can’t recite them verbatim, but give me a number and I can tell you what each one is about.

Glenn R. Geist
5 years ago

Me neither, but if we look at Roman Emperors. . .

Reply to  Glenn R. Geist
5 years ago

Caligula for example…

E.A. Blair
Reply to  Professor Mike
5 years ago

Shortly after election day 2016, The History Channel ran a 2012 documentary titled Caligula: 1400 Days of Terror. As I watched it, I kept thinking “Trump”. It can be downloaded from http://rapidgator.net/file/c960d5bf539fe906bae256ba2c5f8f69/Caligula.1400.Days.of.Terror.HDTV.x264-W4F.rar.html or
http://www.filefactory.com/file/3o9z567r2vy3/Caligula.1400.Days.of.Terror.HDTV.x264-W4F.rar

Reply to  E.A. Blair
5 years ago

Thanks E.A.!

Glenn R. Geist
5 years ago

If only it would be a two way connection!

Barry Goldwater was an Amateur radio operator and used to go on the air and talk to people who may well not have known who he was, using only his call sign K7UGA. It was two – way. Trump isn’t listening to anyone and anything that squeaks past his private Iron Curtain is dismissed, discounted and viciously attacked.

I should learn to write code but someone will probably come out with an app called Bullshit Blocker, or Trump Stumper so we don’t have to listen to that lying son of a bitch.

So many dystopian fiction and some real enough dystopian governments make a practice of having loudspeakers everywhere to force the proles to listen to Pig Brother. This is what we’re becoming, the heirs to Albania, Romania, Nicaragua. . .

Bill Formby
Reply to  Glenn R. Geist
5 years ago

I could not have said it better. I have tried to remember if there has been any president who spent as much time glorifying himself and disrespecting others as Trump. Nope, cannot think of one.

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