How Kanye West Is the Key to Victory for Democrats

by Joe Hagstrom

I’ve been racking my brains for years searching for ways to get people who by all accounts should vote Democrat but vote Republican to wise up. Or, alternatively, figuring out a way to get people who don’t vote, or only rarely.

Nothing has worked. And that’s a shame since even in most diehard red states, if the people who don’t vote, just a small percentage of them, voted, the Dems could easily flip these states. But despite all the crap republicans pull on minorities, the poor, labor, hell; everyone other than the wealthy, they just don’t bother to do something about it. Or they justify their not voting as saying it doesn’t matter and all the politicians are criminals anyway.

So I give up on the apathetic. They’re the ones that don’t matter. Being a Republican I get this. Their apathy is our friend seeing as how Republicans vote. And they stay loyal. They all voted for Trump and save me the few instances of a Republican not voting Republican. We got 57 million votes in the bank before they’ve even voted. If we lose a half dozen or so due to some ridiculous pang of conscience they may feel about voting for a lying, misogynist tax cheating dick, who cares? Me and Mitch McConnell sure don’t.

So that leaves Democrats in a world of hurt. Republicans don’t have to work the hell out of phones on election day begging Republicans to vote. Offering rides and babysitting and all manner of crap to get all our voters out. What our advantage is we know how to scare our voters into voting better than Democrats.

We spent over 30 years promoting anti-Hillary propaganda. We were aided by the Russians. We have a major news outlet delivering our talking points. As I pointed out after the election which Trump won in record fashion, the voters just hated Hillary. Thanks to Republican propaganda. We’re doing our propaganda thing against Dr. Ford now. And fear of our retribution kept Susan Collins in line. I admired her “angry republican woman” face she displayed in her speech before revealing her vote supporting the nomination of noted beer drinker Bret Kavanaugh. She had it perfected on Face the Nation this morning. We like angry women. Especially when they’re angry at Democrats that try to defend women that accuse Republicans of naughty behavior. Democrats call them traitors to womanhood. We see them as feisty and obedient. Now that’s sexy.

Despite the bad news here for Democrats, you do still have a chance. You’re not going to get the apathetic to vote in any real numbers. But if you put your ridiculous devotion to integrity on the shelf in the name of making America great again, rapper Kanye West has just given you the greatest gift of all: a scary Black man with a white wife that supports President Trump.

You people exploit this correctly the South would be yours. The Senate would be yours. Hell, all America would be yours. Any issue important to Liberals would soon become law since we all know scary Black guys with white girlfriends are dangerous. Dangerous to Democrat election efforts anyway. But now, dangerous to Republicans.

The ammunition is there. Trump has tweeted his affection for Kanye. Kanye has many times been public with his affection for Trump. Trump obviously thinks it’s okay for a dangerous rapper to date your white daughter. Word is he even encourages it. Word is he even wanted his daughter to marry a dangerous Black rapper but had to settle for her marrying a Jew instead.

President Trump has professed love for many non-American looking people. The chubby-cheeked cutey Kim Jung Un from North Korea. He even professed affection for the President of China. Two non-American looking guys if this republican ever saw any. And they’re skin is yellow so other than doing our laundry or fixing us some General Tso’s Chicken, they are not to be trusted. How dare this President show them anything but contempt!

Between loving on dangerous Black men and Asians and now the Mexican President even though Mexico hasn’t sent us a check for the wall to keep them out of here, we good Christian white folk are getting the short end of the stick. It’s not fair us white guys gotta pay all the bills and can’t even dry hump an unwilling chick without a federal case being made of it and one of our own having to put up with unfairness just for a job where he has to wear a robe and sit next to Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Trump hates white men. Turns out it wasn’t President Obama that sent Black Panthers to impregnate our white daughters. It’s Trump as a birthday present to Kanye and his friends. And soon our schools will be teaching how to recite the Constitution as a rap song. And Thanksgiving will be celebrated not with turkey, but with Moo Shoo Pork.

The Dems, of course, won’t listen to me. Things will break the way they always do and Republicans will win this November. And not long after when issues like Roe V Wade are overturned and birth control is outlawed. When Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid are declared unConstitutional and inflation goes through the roof since President Trump will disband the Fed and order the printing of huge amounts of money to offset the off the charts deficits he’s created with his insane policies of zero responsibility. the Dems, the ones in charge anyway, whoever the hell they are, can tell themselves at least they have their dignity. Dignity is no substitute for victory. Republicans get this. We win.

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Posted by on October 8, 2018. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
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11 Responses to How Kanye West Is the Key to Victory for Democrats

  1. Neil Bamforth Reply

    October 8, 2018 at 12:28 pm

    Course the Republicans will win. Who’s to stop em?

    • Neil Bamforth Reply

      October 8, 2018 at 12:30 pm

      ….and no I’m not a Republican. I’m a liberal conservative environmentalist….emphasis on the mentality 😜

    • Michael John Scott Reply

      October 8, 2018 at 1:11 pm

      You don’t quite understand do you Neil? LOL

      • Neil Bamforth Reply

        October 8, 2018 at 1:28 pm

        I know nothing! (Manuel : Fawlty Towers)…..Que? 🙂

  2. Gregory B. Gonzalez Reply

    October 8, 2018 at 2:17 pm

    At rate the Republicans are making people stupider, your people will have to vote using ballots with big print and pictures drawn in crayon. You know, like your cult leader, Trump.

  3. Gregory B. Gonzalez Reply

    October 8, 2018 at 2:22 pm

    And the only reasons Kanye West is a Trump supporter now is because he’s off his meds and he’s suffering from lack of oxygen by having his head stuck up his wife’s ass.

  4. Gregory B. Gonzalez Reply

    October 8, 2018 at 2:24 pm

    Hugs and kisses, Joe. =)

  5. Michael John Scott Reply

    October 8, 2018 at 2:34 pm

    Kanye is an idiot, which is precisely why he might get elected in America! Oh, wait! He’s black and far removed from a Barack Obama.

  6. Joe Hagstrom Reply

    October 8, 2018 at 3:48 pm

    If Trump can take hugs and whatever else from Kim Jung Un then I can be a good sport and take some loving from you Gregory.
    As for the stupidity of my republican copatriots, well. They are loyal. Gimme awhile to come up with something else good about them.

  7. Timmy Mahoney Reply

    October 8, 2018 at 7:05 pm

    Fuck Kanye (who now calls himself “YE”) is an idiot and the fact that America is even talking about him is scary as shit.

    • Bill Formby Reply

      October 9, 2018 at 2:38 pm

      Timmy, sexual epitaphs toward Kanye mean nothing to him as he is unsure how they are meant. But what do you expect from a guy who married into the Kardashian family.

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