Vote Republican Because Poor People are Happy People
Read Time:4 Minute, 22 Second
I think it was Will Rogers that commented about how God must love poor people since He made so many of them. And God forbid we Republicans do anything to help them not be poor. In fact, it is our duty to create more of them so God will have more of them to love. God’s love is infinite so it really isn’t any bother for Him.
This is one of the reasons we want to cut Social Security and Medicare. These programs are blasphemous abominations since they keep millions of people from being poor. What’s worse is that they keep people alive far longer than the Creator intended for them to live, No doubt Franklin Roosevelt and Lyndon Johnson are occupying special places in Hell for their crime of denying God more dead poor people to keep Him company in Heaven.
Same with this sinful Obamacare nonsense about insuring preexisting conditions. If God didn’t want them to be poor from having to pay medical expenses He wouldn’t have made them sick. There is a seat in Hell’s special place for President Obama when he is called to the hereafter as well.
I’ve spent time with poor people. My club hires them. I guarantee they enjoy a fine bowl of generic corn flakes for dinner just as much as my friends at the club enjoy prime rib night. It would be a crime to take the thrill of eating to keep from starving rather than eating fine foods for the pleasure of eating fine foods away from them. Which is all the more reason to eliminate the job-killing minimum wage?
Poor people are proud. It must do untold harm to their egos knowing they’re only making $8 an hour because the Godless law says that’s what their benevolent job creators are made to pay them. It would be far more good for the poor if they earned an honest wage which is whatever the market and their employers feel they’re worth.
The good Lord only knows how many millions of poor people would love to give back some or even most of the despicable minimum wage their over-regulated and taxed employers are forced to pay them.
We Republicans, despite what the Godless liberals say, have great empathy and sympathy for poor people. We too struggle with day to day expenses and the pressures of what credit card to use to pay for things. I haven’t used my Diners Club card in months and I fear it is getting lonely from lack of use but two more meals paid for with my Visa gets me a free meal at Red Lobster so I have to live with the guilt of a lonely credit card.
At least if somebody doesn’t have enough money to eat he doesn’t have to worry what credit card to use for his lunch. And we could all afford to lose a few pounds anyway. Besides, there’s a food bank not too far away from where most poor people live so they can go there and pick up a can of refried beans or something. Speaking of refried beans, I may go to Chipotle later. I may use the Diners Club card there just to keep it active and it looks good on my credit score. And that’s another thing the poor don’t have to fret over. Big loans require a big credit score to get favorable interest rates.
Poor people get to pay high rates at personal finance companies so they don’t have to shop around for the best deal. They know they’re going to pay high rates and fees so they don’t have to fret over whether they paid too much. All they have to do is make the payment every week or they can get an extension which the finance company is always happy to give them. My crowd has never needed an extension so we wouldn’t know what to do. That worries us. The poor expect it so they’re okay.
I respect the pride of poor people. Especially the God-fearing, church-going poor. They love being poor. When a Democrat offers them a policy that would help lift them from poverty they turn the other way and vote Republican because they know we respect them and won’t do anything that might make them less poor.
This is why Republicans are lousy tippers. We understand that the poor don’t want charity. We won’t insult them with a 20% tip when a dollar or two would help them maintain their pride. We don’t want to cut their taxes too much either. They like to know they are contributing.
Just for good measure though we like increasing government fees and privatizing services so they can help the economy by paying more for stuff like water and voting and driving to work on a privately run toll road. If they can’t afford a car they have the satisfaction of knowing the increase in bus fares cause we privatized the bus service. you’re welcome poor people.
Jesus said blessed are the poor. For they shall inherit the Kingdom of God. As a Republican, I echo the words of Christ. Let’s keep the poor poor, saved and happy.
Happy
0 %
Sad
0 %
Excited
0 %
Sleepy
0 %
Angry
0 %
Surprise
0 %
0
0
The rethugs don’t care, sorry Joe, but it’s true even though you are in denial. I once saw a republican give a waiter a $1 tip for a table of 5 so that was pretty big hearted I think. Also if poor people were proud they wouldn’t be poor now would they :-)?
It’s true we Republicans are lousy tippers. After all we just passed a huge tax hike designed for poor and middle class. They have plenty of money.
Just saw that Larry Kudlow is against the federal minimum wage. Good to see a member of Trump’s administration reading MMA and following my sage republican advice. When in doubt screw the poor and make sure the idiot mob thinks you’re sufficiently anti minority.
Poverty is rampant in the Deep South and on Native American reservations. Hard to believe such places are in America.
“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.”
— Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd President of the United States
Maybe I’m prejudiced – go ahead and think so, you may be right, but in my opinion, the Romans bought the franchise in the 4th century as a way to pacify the poor and steer their superstition toward obedience and supporting the empire. It’s worked well for a long time until the age of reason and humanism and science and the American Revolution started to get in the way and that’s the whole story of the alliance between wealth and the economic aristocracy – make America feudal again.
Yes, and we love you for it Joe. 🙂