Don’t Cry For Trump, Argentina

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by Joe Hagstrom

Our government puts up with a lot of naughty behavior from many of our friends and we always have. Iran was our friend for years until Ayatollah Khomeini arrived even though the Shah was a brutal dictator. But, hey, he was ours so we just didn’t mention it.

Saddam Hussein of Iraq was our friend when he hated Iran and had a war with them. Then he went and screwed up so bad by invading Kuwait who apparently was a better friend, so the first President Bush went to war with Iraq. Our reward was a Kuwait that didn’t help keep low oil prices but did prioritize fixing up its King’s palace with gold toilets and fountains before fixing up the rest of Kuwait. I imagine Donald Trump appreciated a man like that.

We even liked Castro of Cuba for a while. The lesson learned by President Trump is to let assholes be assholes no matter how many journalists or anyone else that offends their leaders since the Ruskies are more than happy to let assholes be assholes. Being an asshole is pretty much a requirement of friendship with Putin and Russia. Just like the good old days when East Germany and Cuba were good friends with the USSR.

President Trump has been doing his best to let assholes like the one running Saudi Arabia be assholes without our interference. He understands that by holding assholes accountable for being assholes it drives them into the waiting Russian bear hug of his buddy Vladimir Putin. A world-class asshole. Something Trump works diligently at every day.

We saw the high five Putin and the Saudi Prince shared at the G20 in Argentina. A “welcome to the asshole club” gesture celebrating murderers of journalists. Poor Trump can only wish he could kill journalists but he’s limited by law and political expediency for the time being to only calling journalists “enemies of the state.”

There is no point in feeling sorry for President Trump though. His company is making plenty of money renting rooms to donors and foreign dignitaries looking for government handouts. Never a bad idea to grease the palm of the guy who decides where the largesse is going. It’s the American way. God bless the Trump family.

A further reason to not worry about Trump’s future including being led out of The White House, or Mar-a-Largo if it’s  Thursday after 3 pm through Monday around noon, in handcuffs, since Vice President Pence has already readied the pardon he will bestow on Trump to “heal America.” More likely to save his own ass but the Republican (capitalizing “Republican” at the insistence of MadMike) masses will like the healing meme.

Strange that Pence hasn’t been questioned by journalists whether or not Trump has instructed him to give a pardon to the Trump family after they’re arrested. I guess the journalists are scared that Pence may be a bigger asshole than Trump and go ahead and have them murdered for asking unauthorized questions. No doubt Pence shares world-class asshole status with Trump and Putin.  What better way to lift oneself up in Putin’s eyes than demonstrating grand gestures of assholeness.  Being a devout Christian, no doubt my good friend Mike Pence could find either a Bible passage or Republican preachers like Franklin Graham to preach that it was God’s will or some such nonsense.

We Republicans will cheer it because we still are waiting for Hillary’s emails. And we’re deluded fools that demand only to have our bigotry and blissful ignorance validated by those who tell the silliness we want to hear. Even if it means the death of Social Security and Medicare and anything else that actually makes a positive difference in the lives of millions that vote Republican even though Trump and Pence and Ryan and McConnell admit they want to end that stuff.

Soon the Saudis will be beholding allies to Russia and Putin. Unless the Chinese can sneak in with a better deal for arms and cell phones for them. The Chinese are equally as apathetic towards naughty behavior as Putin, and they can offer the Saudis an aircraft carrier if they can get the one they’ve been working on to float long enough to get to Saudi Arabia.  The Russians have the edge in this area since their aircraft carrier floats. It just leaks radiation and breaks down a lot.

Either way, Trump will blame Democrats for letting our ally go to the dark side for silly things like the murder of a person whose line of work is one of our Nation’s most important Constitutional tenets. But Heaven forbid the Constitution to stand in the way of a good hotel deal or arms order. President Trump gets this. And once he gets his pardon from Pence he can build those hotels in Russia and Saudi Arabia. So don’t cry for Trump. Cry for Mueller. All that work for nothing.

About Post Author

Joe Hagstrom

Reformed Liberal now dedicated to saving world from Obamacare and Godless Atheists. Using MadMike's America to audition for high paying job with Fox News.
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5 years ago

Yes? This is driving me crazy. Yes what?

5 years ago

Trump had no idea what he was getting into and didn’t expect to win the election, because I think he knew how ill prepared he was, and never thought a sane person would vote for him. He didn’t count on those rural rednecks.

Admin
5 years ago

The ticking of the End of Trump clock, like the Doomsday Clock, is getting louder and for him, it will be doomsday indeed. Fuck him forever…

5 years ago

Perhaps if you’re looking for largesse, a large ass is the place to start. Did you see how a confused Trump wandered off stage when he was supposed to pose for a picture with the Argentinian president? Large ass, dumb ass, whatever.

Reply to  Glenn Geist
5 years ago

I missed that but can picture that dumb, large ass, wandering off the stage, while wondering where he was.

Joe Hagstrom
5 years ago

Yes

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