How Mike Pence Knows What Sh*t Tastes Like

by Joe Hagstrom

One of the guys I work with texted me before our shift and said don’t bring supper. He made what he called his world-famous chili and was bringing it in that evening. I was excited. It’s been cold lately and I grow weary of the same old stuff I bring.

Supper time arrived and he heated up his world-famous chili and waited with great anticipation as I tried the first spoonful. I courteously gave it a couple seconds in my mouth before spitting it back in the bowl. He angrily asked what was wrong with his chili. I angrily answered it tastes like shit.

He was aghast that I would disparage his chili which he slaved over all day just so his coworker could enjoy a nice supper. Then he asked how I knew what shit tasted like. I told him a guy I knew tasted shit and told me it tasted like your world-famous chili (I always have a quick retort). He told me to leave him alone while he dined on whatever animal defecated in his pot so I left him alone.

That got me to thinking, I’ve heard many times somebody say something tastes like shit. But who would actually know what shit tastes like? I’m not going to try it. Someone would have to a real weirdo to eat shit. But then I heard about Vice President Mike Pence calling my fellow Republican Rush Limbaugh to thank him for all he has done.

While this upset me considering all the shit I’ve spewed for Trump and the Republicans, I guess Limbaugh has done more. More people listen to his shit than read mine. It also got me to thinking what a prolific ass kisser Mike Pence really is.

This guy’s face is constantly buried in President Trump’s ass. He ass kisses anybody of any influence in Republican politics. And now he delivers his brand of anal gratification to Rush Limbaugh. If anyone knows what shit tastes like it’s Mike Pence.

Maybe shit is like whisky. It tastes bad but you get used to it. I don’t know. But the next time someone asks how you know what shit tastes like you can say Mike Pence told me.

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Posted by on January 10, 2019. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
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5 Responses to How Mike Pence Knows What Sh*t Tastes Like

  1. Glenn R. Geist Reply

    January 10, 2019 at 9:19 am

    He can sling it too. His astonishing performance at explaining how 5 ex-presidents told Trump we needed a wall when none actually had, should be preserved for the ages.

  2. Joe Hagstrom Reply

    January 10, 2019 at 11:34 am

    Mr. Pence definitely belched up a load shit when he told of that. Amazing how white he keeps his teeth though. Must be the good government health and dental plan he enjoys while hating it for everyone else.

  3. Bill Formby Reply

    January 10, 2019 at 12:39 pm

    The more I see and hear from Trump and his ass licker the more I appreciate dung beetle.

    • Joe Hagstrom Reply

      January 10, 2019 at 1:43 pm

      And the Dung Beetle is proof of a common evolutionary ancestor of Pence and beetles. They both evolved to become shit eaters. Creationism at it’s finest.

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