Trump Replacing Satan As the Father of Lies

by Joe Hagstrom

We Republicans fully understand that sometimes lies or killing of Middle Eastern children, or the occasional locking up or killing of an innocent black guy are necessary evils to send a message of Christian goodness.

The noted and highly respected man of God, the most Reverend Franklin Graham, has sanctified this through his total devotion to President Trump no matter how many times he lies. I pointed out long ago that Trump, through his policy of deregulation, had the Seventh Commandment eliminated, for Republicans anyway, we do understand some regulation is necessary, so when he lies it isn’t a sin anymore for Republicans. ( On a side note like Trump, I also have a gigantic naughty bit and have never left a woman unsatisfied).

Many are angry with Trump for the government shutdown. In reality, although his reason is a lie and he and his minions keep telling more lies to justify it, it’s really a shutdown of compassion and love. Just as the wall and Trump’s immigration policy are. I guess he has an immigration policy anyway. Whatever it is, if there is one, I support it totally.

The truth behind Trump’s fiction over the wall and the billions he wants for it is that a shutdown is good for the Federal workers not getting paid. Especially the ones that still have to work without getting paid. Trump has lived like a king nearly his entire life on borrowed money. This gives around 800,000 people a chance to live like Trump.

The best thing those without a paycheck can do is to go out and run up their credit cards. Maybe buy a new car or two and a big house. Ideally borrow so much the bank that was dumb enough to lend them that much money can’t afford to write of the loss so they have to lend them more money. Worse comes to worse these folks can always get money from the Russians. And all they have to do is praise Putin. Pretty good deal and I thank the President for this strategy that I didn’t have to pay thousands of dollars to learn by attending Trump University.

Trump’s magnanimity is also evident by the sheer amount of lies he tells. We good Christians know that Satan is the father of lies. Yet, as my Mom used to say, “even a whore deserves a day off” Trump is kindly giving Satan a day off from lying by taking up the slack, This gives the Devil far more time to ruin the souls of Democrats that believe just because someone is Gay or Black or a Muslim then they are righteous and deserve constant love and welfare and all the good lines in sitcoms.

Not sure when this, or if it will be published by MadMike and the editors at this den of atheism and sluttery. But tonight our great President will be addressing our great Nation from the Oval Office. He will tell great lies. The greatest lies ever told. His base of homophobes, bigots and religious zealots will hear all the lies they long to hear. Democrats will be outraged.

Fact checkers will be busy. Trump won’t care. His lies will be defended by great liars. Well, maybe not great, but prolific. Kelly Conway and Sarah Huckabee will be on Fox telling lies that defend Trump’s lies.

The right-wing media will be repeating the lies and more importantly, deflecting them to keep the focus on mythical secular humanists and the thousands of terrorists walking across the unwalled border to do us evil.

They can build bombs from stuff you can get at Seven/Eleven but they’re to dumb to use a ladder I guess. Not that it matters since we really don’t want a wall so much as the issue to keep the base angry. God help is if Mexico decides to pay for a wall. But there’s always guns and abortion to lie about.

I know we’ve been quiet on these things lately but while our base is made up of great patriots that know better what they need than big government. Their wisdom is vast. They possess common sense. They are all the other things we say they are so we can get a big round of applause at our town hall stuff, we just don’t want to confuse them with more than one issue.

Not until we need to anyway.

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Posted by on January 8, 2019. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
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5 Responses to Trump Replacing Satan As the Father of Lies

  1. Michael John Scott Reply

    January 8, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    Tonight will be nothing but a litany of lies. I will not watch it.

  2. Timmy Mahoney Reply

    January 8, 2019 at 4:38 pm

    Funny as all fuck Joe! Couldn’t stop laughing.

  3. Joe Hagstrom Reply

    January 9, 2019 at 7:52 am

    I didn’t watch Trump’s address. Figured I had enough lies and defense of lies in this post for one day.
    Thanks for reading Timmy.

  4. Caroline Taylor Reply

    January 9, 2019 at 8:02 am

    I heard his ridiculous 7-minute speech as to was replayed on Rachel Maddow. What a lying Dick he is !!

  5. Glenn R. Geist Reply

    January 9, 2019 at 10:24 am

    Remember when the flatulatti were making such a fuss about something they confected and cooked up from looking into the Koran or Quran if you prefer. It was the assertion that lying in service of the faith was permissible – even virtuous.

    I have no idea if that’s true, but isn’t it obvious that this is another case of projection? Everything the religious conservative perverts (but I repeat myself) accuse the other of is their own shameful sin.

    Liars for Jesus.

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