- CRITTER TALK
- NEWS I FIND INTERESTING
While the rest of the country was drowning in crocodile tears and sending out pointless ‘thoughts and prayers’, I took to my social media and went on a rampage.
I said that gun owners shouldn’t even bother expressing any sympathy, because in simply being a gun owner, you’re part of the problem. And if the only support you can offer is a prayer instead of demanding changes to the law, don’t even pretend to give a shit.
I’ve written plenty of articles over the years in regard to how I feel about guns, and in that time, not ONE thing has changed. Not one single thing. The only thing that changes are the names and faces of the victims. Body counts vary.
The cycle is always the same: Some nut loses it, goes on a shooting spree, people die, the public mourns, thoughts and prayers are offered, republicans avoid the gun debate, and the NRA whines about their second amendment rights. Rinse, repeat.
It’s like bulimia with vomit mixed in with lead and blood. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve just numbed myself to it. “Another shooting on the news? For crying out loud, isn’t there a car chase happening somewhere?”
But that isn’t really the point of this article. No, what I wanted to talk about was the one piece of scum who has profited by such senseless tragedy- Alex Jones, noted conspiracy theorist and owner of Infowars.
When the shooting in Newtown occurred, Jones rode the tragedy to fame by peddling the theory that it was fake, that the victims never actually existed, and the parents and families affected by it were all ‘crisis actors’.
By the way, what the Hell is a ‘crisis actor’, anyway? You conspiracy theory nitwits watch too many horror and disaster movies. I hate to burst your bubble, but ARMAGEDDON wasn’t a documentary, and shooting victims don’t have the acting skills of Meryl Streep. If anything, you people have all the mental stability Glenn Close had in FATAL ATTRACTION!
Thanks to Jones and his baseless accusations, the families of the Sandy Hook massacre have been harassed, stalked, and threatened by gun nuts and far-right extremists. All while Jones has been making millions of dollars off their pain by selling his bogus ‘health’ products and survivalist gear.
Calling Jones a scumbag is putting it lightly. Even a bottom-feeding parasite has more humanity than he does. I’m almost positive that most child molesters look at him with disgust. I know his ex-wife certainly does. She probably throws up at the thought that she had sex with him, much less had kids with him. I feel bad for his kids. It’s like having Joseph Gobbels for a father.
And does he even own up to his own bullshit? No, of course not. He doesn’t claim to be a serious journalist- according to Jones, he’s an ‘entertainer’. Yeah, right. The guy should be doing clown shows at Hitler Youth rallies. I mean, Donald Trump has appeared on his show. That pretty much says it all.
Seriously, what qualifications do you need to be a reporter for Infowars, anyway? A double-digit IQ, a GED, and a bib to keep the drool off your keyboard? It certainly seems that way, doesn’t it? Considering that the majority of Infowars’ audience share the same traits, they must be inundated with job applicants.
Thankfully, Jones looks to be getting his comeuppance in that some of the Sandy Hook parents have filed multiple lawsuits against him. Not only that, but Infowars has lost a lot of their access to social media including Facebook, Twitter, Apple, and YouTube. I guess nobody wants to see a bloated tick bloviate online anymore. I can only hope that the Newtown families take him for every penny he’s got. It would give me great pleasure to see him panhandling for change off the New Jersey turnpike. Or better yet, blowing closet republicans for money outside the capitol building. I’m sure Mike Pence and Lindsey Graham would enjoy that.
On a side note to gun nuts and members of the cult of the second amendment- NO ONE IS COMING FOR YOUR GUNS. No matter how many times we say it, you people just DON’T get it. All we want are common sense gun laws to keep everyone safe. That’s it. You can still hold on to your precious detachable penises all you like.
The solution to gun problem is easy- reinstate the assault weapons ban, register all your guns, limit gun sales, keep them out of the hands of the underage, mentally disturbed, and anyone with a criminal record. Simple. It probably wouldn’t hurt to start having people buy liability insurance on their guns, either. It’s kind of stupid that we don’t do that as it is.
As far as assault weapons go, those should only be allowed to be used at gun ranges. I mean, unless you’re expecting a zombie apocalypse, you don’t need it. If you say you hunt with it, my question is, what are you hunting, a predator?
Nobody said you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. We’re just saying that we would like to stay alive long enough to have a piece.
As far as Alex Jones and his conspiracy theorist brethren go, do us all a favor-stop watching Fox news, get out of your basements, take a deep breath and a nice walk outside, and then you can go back to masturbating to your pictures of Dana Loesch and Tomi Laren and let the rest of us live in peace. Thanks.