On Colonoscopies, Drugs, and the Border Wall

by David P. Greenberg

People hate getting Colonoscopies. I mean, I can dig it. They suck. They suck from two days before the actual procedure, through two days after.

So, people stopped getting Colonoscopies. And what happened? Cologuard came out. That’s the one where you shit in a box, and UPS delivers it to a lab. It’s the one package you’ll ever get that’s safe from “Porch Pirates.”

I bet you wanna know what’s my point.

Well, there was no market for Colonoscopies, so forward-thinking entrepreneurs found another product.

If there were no market for Heroin, Cocaine, or Fentanyl it wouldn’t matter if they were coming through the “wall” or through the “ports of entry.”

In other words, our drug problem in America doesn’t exist because bad people want to smuggle drugs. It’s because Americans fuckin’ LOVE drugs.

If we stopped buying Fentanyl, Mexicans would stop smuggling it in.

Take away the market and you take away the problem. If Americans ended their love affair with drugs, then smugglers would go the way of the Colonoscopy. End of problem – and no “wall.”

Did you like this? Share it:
Posted by on February 2, 2019. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
Back to Main Page

4 Responses to On Colonoscopies, Drugs, and the Border Wall

  1. Glenn Geist Reply

    February 2, 2019 at 10:02 am

    “If we stopped buying Fentanyl, Mexicans would stop smuggling it in.”

    Bingo, but I hate to tell you – cologuard is nowhere near as effective and yes, they still do colonoscopies and yes, it’s still a pain in the. . . well you know what I mean.

  2. Michael John Scott Reply

    February 2, 2019 at 10:26 am

    Cologuard is nothing but an early alert system for the presence of blood in the stool. If they find it, well, it’s colonoscopy time. I actually love the drugs. That Versed is amazing 🙂

  3. Bill Formby Reply

    February 2, 2019 at 3:33 pm

    Well, my surgeon told me when I called last fall that at 75 it probably was not necessary to do the roto rooter any more. I really did not mind them that much. I watch a bit on CNN where Morgan Spurlock had one in Thailand by swallowing a very small camera. I thought that was pretty cool. 🙂

    • BitcoDavid Reply

      February 2, 2019 at 6:10 pm

      Wasn’t he the McDonald’s guy? God, that dude will eat anything.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.