Please Stop Calling Donald Trump An A$$hole
Read Time:3 Minute, 25 Second
I have a simple favor to ask of my fans, friends, and family. It’s not even a request, really, I’m actually pleading with all of you- PLEASE STOP CALLING DONALD TRUMP AN ASSHOLE.
Most of you are probably wondering why I’m asking this favor. I’m not asking as matter of respect for him, and I’m not asking you to stop mocking him. God knows he’s begging to be made fun of. No, the reason I’m asking you to cease referring to him as an asshole is because it offends me. I’M an asshole, and lumping that orange prick in the same category is something I just CANNOT abide. It gives assholes a bad name.
Not only that, it is factually inaccurate. Donald Trump is NOT an asshole; he is a DOUCHEBAG. You may be wondering, what’s the difference? Well, in the book, “ASSHOLEOGY”, an asshole is defined by, “Everything an asshole does is focused on a positive result. They let the ends justify the means. They think their actions through and usually aren’t careless or clueless.”
Now I ask you, does that sound like Donald Trump?
Assholes are likeable people. They’re the ones who stand out; they’re the people who will give it to you straight. They’re the kind of people who will make fun of you to your face, but you won’t hold it against them because you know they’ll buy you a beer after they’re done. You want to have an asshole as a friend, because although he might give you a ton of shit, he’ll always have your back.
I would know this, because, as I said, I am an asshole. And proud of it. Hell, I come from a family of assholes. The Gonzalez family is loyal, honest, and has a razor-sharp wit so finely honed that it could cut all of Fox News down with one joke.
Now, does any of that describe Donald Trump? HELL NO. You know why? Because he only cares about himself, that’s why. It’s the sole hallmark of a douchebag. Douchebags are only concerned with what’s important to them, and they will say or do anything to get it. As it is also written in “ASSHOLEOGY”, “Nobody likes a douchebag, not even his mother.”
Think about it- Donald Trump has never done a thing that hasn’t been of benefit to himself. He isn’t even really a successful businessman. The only thing he knows how to sell well is his own name. Every other business venture was either a failure or a fraud. Much like his hair and marriages.
There is nothing about Trump’s image that is genuine. Everything was bought and paid for. It’s as if he was created and sculpted from a lump of dogshit. Despite what he claims, he is NOT the smartest, richest, or most successful businessman of all time. In fact, I think the Wharton School of Business would gladly refund his tuition money if they could get his diploma back. I mean, seriously, he’s so frickin’ dumb that I bet he failed naptime in kindergarten.
This whole ‘national emergency’ debacle is just the latest disaster of his failing presidency. He says we’re being ‘invaded’, and the only commotion you can hear along the border is crickets fornicating. What gets me is that he seriously thinks a wall is going to magically solve everything. Yeah, tell that to the Trojans, the fortress at Helm’s deep, and the Night’s Watch. A wall worked wonders for them.
You’d think the republicans would know by now how to manipulate Trump- just play to his ego and don’t tell him anything important. Just let the idiot watch Fox News and let him spin. He has no idea how anything on government works anyway, how hard is it to keep him in the dark? Then again, they’re just as stupid as he is, so, nevermind.
Being an egomaniacal narcissist isn’t a trait of being an assshole. Neither is telling you want you want to hear. An asshole will always tell you the opposite- the truth. Something Trump knows nothing about.
Happy
50 %
Sad
0 %
Excited
50 %
Sleepy
0 %
Angry
0 %
Surprise
0 %
0
0
How about this…..Donald J. Trump will go down as the WORST President in U.S. history. The entire country is dying and falling apart around us and all Donald Trump can think about is HIMSELF, not America or the people that live in this great county. I think the word that best describes Donald Trump is SOCIOPATH.
That’s a huge word to describe a Big Oaf.
being that DJT is an accomplished liar,cheat and thief does not mean that you should not respect yourselves enough to wallow in the pigsty with him.shame on him for thinking we all gullible idiots like him.most people are born with more integrity than he will ever have or lie about having.this has been a horrible mistake clearly that a large group of people have believed otherwise his rancid ass wouldn’t been selected president as bad as that is,I cannot believe so many people are still taken in by this con-artist telling you not to believe what you see him do or listen to what he says.How’s that working out for anyone out there?Not for shit. If it looks like, acts like,and is telling me not to believe it then it’s my own fault I’m an idiot not his. He’s just another lying used car salesman.Let his family deal with his shit And we need to move on.Grow a backbone and vote him out.
Well, we voted him out but, he won’t go…
All that really matters now is that the ULTIMATE Pompous ASSHOLE Twatwaffle fuckmuppet, and a douchebag is voted and thrown out on his ear. Then we can make America great again….
Gee, I was thinking I might being a bit hard on him, til I read this.
As w Baptist I disapprove of these sinful activities that lead to self abuse. What Mitch does for Trump is different. That’s just a slave being obedient.
Joe, self abuse is the very best kind of abuse. I heard this from friends so you know.
I heard someone say that there is no problem with wondering if you would like something. Just do it and find out if you like it or not. If you still aren’t sure, keep doing it until you are sure. If you do like it you can be sure that pretty soon some Baptist will try to get it outlawed.
If Jess would claim to embrace abstinence I bet we could get my kooky zealot brethren to outlaw it Bill. Good idea.
In republican-speak, that’s what Mitch McConnell gives Trump. Only he bends over at the end, Joe.
What’s a lap dance?
When someone dances for you and your lap does a dance all of its own in yer pants ya big doofus.
Oh? That’s what it is!!!
AYUP sure is. I am going to feel him out on the whole hey what do you think about lap dances at nudie bars tonight. I am having dinner with him. Kent used to tell me I was the best girlfriend ever when I dated him, guess I’m sticking with tradition 🙂
LOL LOL!
Bill, you stallion!
Greg, you california folks think you know wild behavior. Son, you haven’t lived until you have done it in every rest room in every bar on Bourbon Street. NOLA is the Disneyland for adults. Many years ago Mikes old stomping grounds in Key West was just about as much fun.
Thumbs up for New Orleans and the sexytimes to be had there. Kent and I had our honeymoon there and fun was had by us 🙂
Congratulations Jess. On the gift idea of a lap dance. This depends on where you guys are in the relationship. If he has never saw you at your sexiest, you need to put on your own private show for him. After a couple of hits from the fine scotch, or better still while you are both enjoying some alone time with the scotch just put on the right music and spring into action. FYI, the lap dance is last and must be teased until his tongue is literally hanging out. I had one of these by a lady friend years ago that started on Bourbon Street and ended in the court yard of our rented condo’s courtyard, the hot tub, the balcony, and anywhere else. That was about 40 years ago and I still have dreams about it. I am pretty sure you haven’t shown him all your moves yet, but if you have take him to a great strip bar and let them wind him up for you.
Met him over the holidays at a mutual friends thing and we’ve had a few dates, so it’s very new and very casual right now. I see the dance is getting a lot of upvotes and I am leaning in that direction now. I am still thinking Disneyland too though because he has said as long as he has lived here in CA he has never been, that is just not right in Jess world at all. Maybe he can have both 🙂
How about both?
You’re dating a new guy who ISN’T me? I’m appalled. Or I would be if I hadn’t met somebody else. LOL. And thirty? He’s a baby! Get him an etch a sketch. They like that. Or better yet, a lapdance. A fleshlight works, too! Hugs and kisses!
Sorry but he’s closer to me than you are in SOCAL. Oh you met someone, I am so very happy for you, seriously I am, she better treat you well. He’ll be 30 this week to my 37. AYUP, I figure if guys have been dating younger for centuries why shouldn’t I date someone younger than I am. Plus it was like he was plucked from central casting to spend time with, he’s fun to be around, funny, really laid back and I don’t intimidate him :). I like the lap dance idea very much. Can I do it for him or does it have to be with someone else? I can go either way with this scenario.
Come on man, not a douchebag either. They are somewhat useful till your lady bits dry up from over use. There is no one word to explain what he is. Twatwaffle fits him, fuckmuppet fits him there are others I have seen but I am too lazy right now and I have a job interview at 11 I need to ready myself for .
Oh and any ideas you can give me for a good gift for a guy turning 30, new in the relationship, no alcohol since I brought him Scotch back from the motherland would be so appreciated. I need ideas otherwise he’s getting a ticket for Disneyland and nope I am not joking about that either. As you all know I go there all the time and I love it so why not share the love 😉
[…] From Gregory B. Gonzalez at MadMikesAmerica: […]
“IL DOUCHE!
IL DOUCHE!!
IL DOUCHE!!!”
And also, quit the Trump/Hitler comparisons. Hitler came close to conquering, or at least destroying, the world.
Trump is more of a Mussolini; a preening, vainglorious incompetent. Mussolini conquered Ethiopia.
Hear! HEAR!
Trump says he’s a smart guy. No reason he can’t be a great asshole and douchebag.
You guys are wrong. Trump is God Emperor Douchebag.
I’m with Joe on this one. Trump is the ULTIMATE ASSHOLE, and a douchebag of course 🙂
While I respect your defense of assholeness Greg, I must disagree with your premise. One of my rules of life is it’s never a good idea to put an asshole in charge. Yet for some reason an asshole usually ends up in charge. Anything that gets accomplished is in spite of the asshole. Trump is an asshole of the highest magnitude. A level most assholes can only dream of achieving. He’s a grand master, 33rd degree asshole. You may just be jealous of Trump since he is a far bigger asshole than you Greg. Let it go. Be happy you’re an asshole and not a giant mother fucking lying asshole.