An Englishman Believes Immigrants Need Help Driving

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by Neil Bamforth

I am certainly not the most gifted driver who has ever embarked onto the roads. On the other hand, as a fully qualified driving instructor who, in order to qualify, had to pass an ‘advanced driving test’, I would like to think I’m not too bad.

Having spent a number of years teaching primarily young students how to drive and, as far as I know, none have caused injury or death whilst driving after I have taught them, and got them through their driving test, I like to think I have a reasonable idea on what is, and is not, safe driving.

My wife, who is an excellent driver, will not drive anymore. Well, not around where we live anyway.

This is where I possibly venture onto somewhat thin ice, in some opinions, perhaps.

I have a number of friends up and down the country. Some of them live in areas with high numbers of immigrants. Mainly Asian and African. Without knowledge of what other friends are saying to me, they all say the same thing: Asians and Africans need help driving.

Now, before you ‘go for the racist jugular’, I have taught many Asian and African students and, at least by their driving test, they were driving extremely well. If they hadn’t been they would have failed.

I am also aware that, in areas that are heavily populated by ‘white chavs’ – I suppose they are the British equivalent of ‘trailer trash’ in America? – rather than immigrants,there are a lot of nutters driving around. It is not, specifically, an issue for Asian and African people, except where they have large populations.

So, no, I’m not trying to pick on Asian and African immigrants behind car wheels, I am picking on morons who shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a car or, quite possibly, a bicycle.

I have no idea whether you have seen the quality, or, to be accurate, lack of quality of driving in India, Pakistan and many African countries. A quick perusal of Youtube will show you all you need to know.

Increasingly, in Blighty, they seem to have decided they are not in Blighty, when they get behind the wheel of their car, but in New Delhi or downtown Mogadishu or somewhere like that.

Mad as bloody hatters and, almost invariably, uncaring about anyone else on the road – or the pavement come to that.

The reason this is becoming such a major issue for us is ‘political correctness’. I have lost count of the number of claims of ‘racial harassment’ or ‘color prejudice’ made against the police for having the audacity to stop a car driven by an Asian or African.

Usually they are young men. Usually they are driving in excess of the speed limit or have done something stupid such as overtake dangerously or bounce off a curb. It doesn’t matter. The police have them ‘bang to rights’ as the saying goes but, it’s racial prejudice for stopping them and giving them a ticket.

Recently on the TV news, a young black man claimed just that to a reporter: “It’s because I’m young, black and in a nice car” he said. It later became clear that it was actually because he was suspected of having drugs in the car, which he did, and was driving at 60 mph in a 30 zone.

Oddly, the news didn’t report that side the following day when it was discovered as the truth of the matter.

I taught a young Arab lad to drive. Lovely lad. Very polite and an excellent student. He kept calling me ‘Mr Neil’. I said “No, it’s just Neil” but ‘Mr Neil’ it always was. He went to Egypt for a holiday and, frankly, decided to drive like they did in Egypt.

By chance he overtook me on a bend in the road, driving far to quickly. Then he did a wheel spin away from a traffic light when it turned green.

I happened to catch him up at the next traffic light.

I got out and banged on his drivers window. He jumped out of his skin in surprise.

“Did I teach you to drive like that?” I asked angrily.

“Sorry Mr Neil” he said sheepishly.

Is it a cultural thing? Possibly. The driving in many of the countries these people originate from, or their parents or grandparents do, is terrifyingly bad. Perhaps they go for a visit and pick up the habits?

I have absolutely no idea but, what I do know is this.

The next time an Asian or African driver just pulls out on me I’m not stopping. Their insurance will have to pay up as they will be in the wrong. My car is built like a tank – it’s a Citroen Picasso, one of the originals. Just like a tank – so their car will get squashed and mine will have a dent in it.

Tough.

And the white chavs had better not think I haven’t got them in my sights as well if I happen to be driving through a white chav area!

If they refuse to drive safely and with courtesy and due thought for other road users and, indeed, pedestrians, than to hell with it.

I’ll be a vigilante of the road. Well, until my wife tells me to stop and be sensible – which will probably be before I even start my vigilanteism. She’s smart like that my wife. Probably why she’s quit driving with all the nutters around here.

About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.
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Bill Formby
5 years ago

Here in good old merica we know how to drive. I don’t know what that other pedal is for down there beside the accelerator pedal. I am sure it does something but I never use it. There was an odd song about driving several years ago by David Wilcox called “Blow’em away”

https://youtu.be/yvdW0AQcLzc

This seems to resolve most problems on the freeways.

Rachael
5 years ago

I live in the Bay Area and know exactly what you mean.

Rachael
5 years ago

Add water? Lol!! Love it Jess and as a Californian I get it!!

jess
Reply to  Rachael
5 years ago

It has been an nightmare with rain.

jess
5 years ago

I live in an area where if you are not a bad driver it’s shocking. Add water and you have instant idiots on the road, like these past couple of weeks with rain and snow up in the hills etc. I went skiing during this rainy time, more than once, (best snow don’t ya know) and we got behind an utter assclown who couldn’t put on chains to save her life and was drifting all over the place thinking I’ll wait before I do the chains.

Glenn R. Geist
5 years ago

Reading that comment, my computer let out a noise like a submarine’s dive alarm. I think it was the understatement detector.

Even so, I’ve driven in Europe quite a bit and even in China once. Yes’ it’s crazy but crazy in a Fiat Panda is not like Crazy in road full of super-duty 600 HP trucks

Driving in Florida is more Cowboy psychodrama with a touch of county fair demolition derby and a trace of Geriatric studies.

The vehicles are ten times larger and heavier and faster. Some are jacked up so high their drivers can’t see me if I’m less that ten feet away and their bumpers are higher than my windowsills. That’s not just with my low-slung Corvette but even with my battleship Jaguar.

Trust me a Citroen would be like a ping pong ball off a paddle if one of these monsters hit one.

As to being a highway vigilante, a Floridian has to remember that all Florida drivers should be considered armed – and besides, with a manual transmission, my right hand is needed to change gears. Still, one dreams of one of those Mad Max vehicles with a .50 caliber mounted on a tripod.

Admin
5 years ago

I’ve given out hundreds of tickets to “native-born” Americans, and I can tell you there are a lot of bad drivers out there.

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