Michael Cohen’s Next Job—U.S. Senator

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by Joe Hagstrom

Just like around 290 million people who watched Michael Cohen testify before Congress last week, at least 290 million was my pro Trump estimate, some people are saying it was the largest viewing audience that ever viewed anything, thank Mr. President, I was transfixed at what Cohen said about our dear leader. Trump, not Kim Jung Il even though Trump loves him and by default we love the creepy fat bastard also.

Mr. Cohen said Trump was a con man and a charlatan. Just like Mitt Romney said a couple of years ago when he did a hit job on our great President. I don’t remember if Mitt called President Trump a racist or liar cause I didn’t feel like watching the video again. And I figured I’d better get this post submitted since the one I was going to submit had pretty much the same meme as an opinion piece I just saw at politico questioning if Trump was really a capitalist. I think he’s a socialist but you snooze you lose so I talk about Cohen today.

While Mitt never had to testify before Congress and isn’t going to jail, just like Cohen, Mitt sold his soul to Trump. The big difference is Mitt had the good sense to sell his soul when the selling was good. He went from Trump hater to Trump lover. Just like the rest of the Republicans that used to hate Trump. This led to a Senate seat for Mitt. Poor Mike just had bad timing. But Trump is a forgiving man. I think if Mike came around and started lying for him again he would soon get his pardon and be set up for a Senate seat from some southern or western state that votes Republican no matter who it is. Look at the nasty Liz Cheney. Brutal woman. Got a great job representing Wyoming and is in a leadership position in the party even though she doesn’t have an original thought in her head.

This could be Michael Cohen if he just gets off his high horse and resells his soul. Beats going to jail. And then the idiot Republicans that bashed him for thinking about writing a book will lay off and most likely buy his book. Just like they will buy John Bolton’s book. The same opinionated pro war nut job that no longer has an opinion now that he’s Trump’s National Security Advisor. Yes. Bolton did say he was writing a book while on Face the Nation Sunday. But that’s different. At least it’s different till Cohen comes to his senses and lauds the magnificence of President Trump. Then all will be well and America will be great again. Not that it isn’t great now since Trump made great friends of Putin and Kim Jung Un.

It’s good to have friends you can rely on if you need somebody killed or tortured. And if those two are busy Trump has his pal, the Prince of Araby over in Saudi Arabia to take care of business. Some people are saying they’re thinking about torture suites in Trump Towers that are being planned in his pal’s countries. Not that I have any hard evidence but some people are saying. And some torturers and killers are good people I assume. And seeing as how God chose Trump to be President, I have faith Trump knows how to spot torturers and killers of good character. He’s certainly proven he can hire people of character and high moral fiber in the past.

About Post Author

Joe Hagstrom

Reformed Liberal now dedicated to saving world from Obamacare and Godless Atheists. Using MadMike's America to audition for high paying job with Fox News.
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jess
Reply to  Joe Hagstrom
5 years ago

AYUP. Never lived in Utah for years then when old assed Hatch was up for retirement, decided to move back there and be handed a senate seat basically.

jess
5 years ago

What pisses me off about Mitt, let me count the ways. Double standard for just one, that he had a failed prez run and was applauded like he was a trained seal to run for senate in Utah, where Hillary was told to sit down, shut up and take up knitting. Just aggravates the fuck out of me.

Reply to  jess
5 years ago

Despise Mittens, but I’ll take him over the Trumpster any day of the proverbial week, if youse knows what I’m sayin’ 🙂

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