An Englishman Wants BoJo To Be Prime Minister

by Neil Bamforth

Before you ask or, come to that, suggest it, I am not a Boris disciple. Well, not as such anyway. Disciples tend to have somewhat blind faith in whoever they are disciples of and, what ever else I have, it certainly isn’t blind faith in Boris Johnson.

However. After carefully considering the alternatives, I can see no other way forward – well, no other way that I like the look of anyway – in terms of who I would prefer as Prime Minister.

Let’s look at the choices.

Firstly, there is Jeremy Hunt. He is in direct competition with Boris for the roll of Conservative Party leader and, therefore, Prime Minister.

No, no and a thousand times no.

Hunt would, if elected as leader, quite conceivably sound the death knell for the Conservatives. Few will ever forget how he attempted to demonize the National Health Service junior doctors when he was Health Minister.

He insisted that his new working practices were better for everybody. The junior doctors thought otherwise. As the new working practices directly affected junior doctors, it is not unreasonable to think they knew what they were talking about.

Hunt decided he knew better.

Well, if I was feeling unwell, who would I go and see to make me well again? Jeremy Hunt or a junior doctor (assuming I went to a hospital rather than a General Practitioners surgery)

Yes. Like everybody else, I would seek the aid of a junior doctor. They know how to practice medicine and, they also know what the best working practices are for both their patients benefit and their own.

Hunt’s surname is now engraved in a modern ‘Cockney rhyming slang’ way – as in, when somebody is behaving badly or stupidly – “Don’t be such a Jeremy”.

Other alternatives would be, should a General Election be held, Jeremy Corbyn.

Oh great. Let’s have a Marxist, Hamas, IRA supporting Prime Minister then shall we? A Prime Minister who wants to tax people until they squeak. A Prime Minister who thinks, just because I have a nice garden, I should pay more tax.

The man is an utter moron on a good day. He also seems to think he’s living in Cuba or the old Soviet Union or somewhere similar.

Albeit I’m prepared to accept Corbyn himself may not be anti-semetic, he has done such a disastrously poor job of ridding his Labour Party of it, he is clearly far too weak to lead a brass band, let alone a country.

Well, that’s about it. Boris, Hunt or, God (or the diety of your choice) help us all, Corbyn.

If a General Election was to be held, The Brexit Party’s Nigel Farage might be an outside bet. That, I suspect, will much depend on whether the Tories pick Hunt or Boris.

Hunt would give The Brexit Party the opportunity to go full steam ahead, while Boris might well actually win a General Election – especially when the alternative would be Jeremy Corbyn.

No matter how dysfunctional the Conservatives have been – pretty much since the Brexit referendum result – hardly anybody outside of the far left would contemplate a Corbyn government.

If I’m wrong and we ever end up with one, that’s it, I’m off. I’d rather live on The Galapagos Islands with the turtles than suffer Britain under Marxism.

Either that or I would go to prison for assassinating the maniac – probably with my walking stick as A) I have arthritis therefore need one and B) I have no idea how to get hold of any other sort of weapon, nor, if I could, how I would operate the damn thing.

I’d probably end up doing a ‘Carrie Fisher’ out of ‘The Blues Brothers’, fire a rocket launcher at the mad Marxist, hit a wall instead, and he’d get up and carry on a la Jake and Elwood. (Love that movie by the way)

I would be an absolute failure as an assassin, so, if Corbyn ever gets in, it’s The Galapagos and the turtles for me.

So, in the absence of any other vaguely sane candidate, I’m backing Boris.

He is unpredictable. He is sometimes buffoonish. He is sometimes bizarre. He is sometimes prone to saying things it would be better he hadn’t or didn’t.

It could be said, by some I suppose, that if Boris is the best we can hope for, we really are in a mess.

There could be some truth in that.

Still. Looking at the alternatives, I can only find myself saying one thing.

“GO BORIS!!”

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