Donald Trump and the Battle for Fort McHamberder

by David P. Greenberg

It was the brutal winter of 1775. The army named after the great George Washington had gathered in Boston, New York, and other cities. They looked out into the harbor, where they saw the ships of the evil Cornwallis of Yorktown.

As the Ramperds red glared, these Patriots sang the American song named after the famous General, Thomas National.

Suddenly, one of the new invisible F-35s arrived. The pilot was a great American and a young Secretary of State, Ivanka Trump. “What a ten,” the army said. She spoke those words that sent fear into the Cornwallis’ heart.”My daddy’s on his way.”

Soon, Trumpforce One, the pride of the Space Force, arrived. America’s greatest President turned off the invisibility controls and emerged. “Cornwallis of Yorktown,” he bellowed with a voice that needed no amplification. “You are in for fire and fury like has never been seen before.”

“I know great and wise Trump,” replied the total loser. “But England has sent me to take away your guns. President Ayatollah Khomeini of the E.U. has long been jealous of the amazing Second Amendment that you gave your people. He wants those guns.”

“So be it,” said the mighty Trump. He turned to the army, looking up at him with love and adoration. He gave the command that was heard around the world. “Send in the brand new Sherman Tanks and run the Amperts. There will be hot Covfefe and Hamberders for all you Winners.”

Alvin and the Chipmunks faced a barrage of em-emeny fire and perfused to surmender. It was the Battle of Alvin Alley. They obliterated and illiterated Fosul and Colusia.

“I love my tank,” said Trump’s good friend Fredrick Douglass as he powered up his Sherman and switched on the Invisibility mode. The battle raged on. “You can’t have a war without Cyber,” Trump said. “Cyber is the bigliest.”

The oranges of the battle are still unknown, but Fort McHenry or McHendry, it went by both names, would be defended that fateful day in June of 1776. In his bestselling Memoir, “The Art of the Deal,” the great Trump would ruminate, “Even with the agony of bonespurs, I killed more Krauts than any of those losers.”

In the end, what would go on to be called, in the Bible, the greatest of all battles, would cost George Washington and his merry band of Redskins, as they were known, sixteen Sherman Tanks, two airports, 300 gallons of covfefe, sixty hamberders, and one invisible jet.

But their great sacrifice would not be for naught. Immediately after the war, The Trump would impose harsh tariffs on The Cornwallis and build the Great Wall of America, which can actually be seen from the fantastic views of Trump Tower Mars. Tickets available only through Space Force U.S.A.

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Posted by on July 7, 2019. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
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3 Responses to Donald Trump and the Battle for Fort McHamberder

  1. Michael John Scott Reply

    July 7, 2019 at 9:27 am

    …and that’s like it is in Trump’s White House. Idiocy abounds.

  2. BitcoDavid Reply

    July 7, 2019 at 9:59 am

    I got my history degree at Trump University.

  3. Pingback: Donald Trump and the Battle for Fort McHamberder – FairAndUNbalanced.com

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