Vote Blue! Cheat If You Must, but Vote Blue

by David P. Greenberg

I’m a lifelong Democrat. I’ve voted the Party even when I’ve disagreed with it. I was a Hippie in the ’70s, a Punk in the ’80s, a Liberal in the ’90s and a Progressive in the “double-ohs.” But I’ve always voted, and I’ve always understood that – let’s face it – most Americans are dumb as a brick.

Yes, you get a Coke v. Pepsi choice in elections. But pound for pound, dollar for dollar, Democrats are closer to sane and closer to honest than Republicans. I would love a “Bernie.” But I know that Bernie won’t win in Kenosha, Wisconsin and that the 340,000,000 of us are ruled by the 500 of them.

Yes, this was because of Slavery. Suck it up. We are always gonna be stuck reliving the 1860s. You can either have Jefferson Davis, or you can have Bill Clinton. That’s your choice but that’s your only choice. I’ll take Bill Clinton and continue wishing I lived in Canada.

But there are two things that have always pissed me off about Democrats.

1) We bring Chamomile tea and Kale to a gunfight. Look. I’m all about “the good fight,” but if the other guy is packing brass knuckles under his gloves, and he’s spiked your water bottle with dog tranquilizers, maybe you need to step up your game.

I get the moral implications. Maybe we just need to do what we need to do and square it up with Bast and Buddha after the dust settles. “Going High” helped get us Trump. The Republicans have been rigging the game since Nixon. You can’t fight that shit with scruples. You need a “Hiroshima.”

Here’s an example. McTurdle claimed the moral superiority behind allowing the “American People©” to decide when it came to Merrick Garland. But when asked if he’d violate his own rule to allow Trump to pick a judge – during an election year – he smirked and said, “I’d appoint him.”

Or the Montana Legislature that overrode the cost-effective and fair idea of mail-in ballots because… and I quote… “It would make it easier for Democrats to vote.”

How ya gonna fight that, and maintain the “moral high-ground?” I say we start putting polling stations in abortion clinics. That’s what they’d do. You can vote, but you have to walk past all the dead babies in jars, to do it.

2) We never seem to get the idea of a “Down Ticket.” President isn’t the only job in government. We overwhelmingly swept Obama into office, then hobbled him with an Obstructionist Congress, and 50 unfriendly Governors. Ya gotta put that “D” in as City Librarian, some-fucking-thing-at-large, and town dog-walker.

You don’t even have to know what the fuck you’re voting for. City Alderman? What the hell is that? Who cares? Put a “D” in there.

They actually have elections every two years. Betcha didn’t know that. You can vote for Democrats who aren’t running for President. Look at our current gaggle of candidates. Eighty-seven guys running for President. Three-quarters of them are already in the Senate. Don’t you think they might do some good there, under a Democratic President?

I love me some Kamala. Imagine the awesome change she could bring about as a Senator under a Democratic President with a Democratic Majority. Or, she could win the Former White House and spend 4-more years fighting with McConnell. Because WE didn’t arm her with the tools she needs to bring about her wonderful albeit impossible policies.

This is America. Truth be told, we’ve never been able to live up to our own ideals. Ask any Indian.

So vote Blue. Cheat if you must. Vote in every election. And support the entire party.