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IKEA And Britain’s National Health Service

by Neil Bamforth

My left knee was replaced on Friday 29th November and, by Monday 2nd December I was back home with two walking sticks. I’ve been taught how to negotiate stairs, without imminent death being involved. I’ve been taught how to do exercises to strengthen muscles and get the new knee bending. In fact, I couldn’t speak more highly of Britain’s NHS right now.

In fairness though, it would be remiss of me not to mention the role IKEA played in my knee replacement.

IKEA, as I’m sure you will all know, is a Swedish furniture manufacturer, famous for selling furniture in a ‘flat-pack’ form to be assembled when you get it home.

I had the option of a general anesthetic or, a spinal anesthetic that would numb me from the waist down.

I chose the latter, as the advice was, the recovery time was significantly reduced if you didn’t have a general anesthetic.

The option to be knocked out all together remained throughout the operation if I found it too uncomfortable or, more likely, psychologically difficult once the drilling and sawing began.

A screen was erected so I couldn’t actually see what was occurring with my knee.

I lay there feeling pleasantly drowsy as the surgeons did all the preparatory work.

Then they began.

It was very noisy indeed. Drilling, sawing, and hammering. I couldn’t feel a thing, but I could certainly hear a lot.

I pointed out that, with all the drilling and sawing, I felt like I was a piece of IKEA flat-pack furniture. This amused my surgeon very much as, he told me, he worked at IKEA in a Saturday job while he was studying medicine.

I mused whether his knowledge of knee replacements was medical, or mainly through assembling bits of furniture – so I asked him.

This caused much hilarity. So much so that they had to stop the operation for a few seconds while the surgeon composed himself.

The operation was a complete success and I can’t speak highly enough of all the staff involved.

I asked the surgeon why there had been two cancellations. “Too many people” he replied succinctly.

I was pleased about that as, whenever I say we have ‘too many people’ over here I get shouted at. You can shout at my surgeon now πŸ™‚

I still need the right knee doing – hopefully, sooner than later. I hope I get the same IKEA surgeon. He was a good egg.

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Posted by on December 6, 2019. Filed under COMMENTARY/OPINION. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
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8 Responses to IKEA And Britain’s National Health Service

  1. Bill Formby Reply

    December 6, 2019 at 8:58 am

    I hope you remembered to get your oil can. You know you have to keep those things lubed up well or they get stiff you know. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    • jess Reply

      December 6, 2019 at 12:41 pm

      AYUP, not the knees you want getting stiff is it πŸ˜‰

  2. Michael John Scott Reply

    December 6, 2019 at 9:08 am

    LOL LOL! A wonderful story, and even better since it’s true. I hope I get an IKEA surgeon πŸ™‚

  3. jess Reply

    December 6, 2019 at 12:40 pm

    Glad you are feeling way better. Will you be running any time soon for exercise or should I just hit myself on the back of the head for being an idiot and asking the question in the first place?

  4. Michael Scott Reply

    December 6, 2019 at 6:54 pm

    Lol lol. Oh. Sorry πŸ€“

  5. Cherries Reply

    December 7, 2019 at 12:12 pm

    Quite a story!
    Did the surgeon also mention shortage of doctors and nurses too? Strange because that’s the main problem now in the NHS I think, apart from government cut backs of course.

  6. Cherries Reply

    December 7, 2019 at 12:40 pm


    You might be interested?

  7. Neil Bamforth Reply

    December 7, 2019 at 3:41 pm

    Yes Cherries. There are shortages of doctors and nurses. All the more reason to restrict access to British citizens, and prevent anymore population growth of consequence via strict controls.

    Labour’s intention to have minimal, if any controls, will finish us.

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