The Many Masks of Donald Trump
Read Time:4 Minute, 10 Second
A couple of weeks ago, I walked into a Walgreens to pick up a prescription while wearing a mask, as is required after the Coronavirus outbreak. To say that I felt stupid wearing it would be an understatement. It was adorned with little American flags all over it, which made me look like a member of Cult 45 sans the MAGA hat, which is not a look you want to be caught dead in, especially in East Los Angeles. But it was given to me, so it’s not like I had much choice in the matter. But between you and me, it may as well have been a mask with a target plastered on it.
At any rate, as I walked up to the counter and got my meds, I kept fiddling with my mask to keep it in place. I told the clerk, “I look like an idiot in this thing, but if it’s a choice between this or death, I guess I’ll take the mask. But I have this overwhelming urge to say, ‘this is a stick-up!'” while holding up three fingers in the shape of a gun. The clerk laughed as I left.
Since the outbreak, the United States now leads the world with 1.5 million people infected and over 70,000 dead. Well, it looks like we’re finally number one at something other than having the largest population of incarcerated people. Let’s hear it for American exceptionalism!
Donald Trump, (or President Scumbag, as I like to call him,) has treated this whole thing like it’s nothing more than a bad case of the sniffles. He’s even gone so far as to say that he won’t wear a mask in public, probably because he feels it would make him look weak. I don’t see what difference wearing a mask makes, if he’s afraid of looking like a pussy, he should just shut off his Twitter feed.
Of course, since Duh Fuhrer refuses to wear a mask, his tribe of idiots doesn’t wear them either. Which is fine by me, if only because it thins out the inbred gene pool considerably. The less webbed-footed freaks with an IQ of 70 walking around, the less of shows like Honey Boo-Boo and Teen Moms the rest of us will have to suffer through.
Which makes it all the more curious to me- why is Trump’s 2020 campaign selling ‘Keep America Great’ facemasks? I mean, these bloody idiots don’t even believe there is a crisis, so why even buy one? That’s like trying to sell condoms to a nun. I know Trump pretty much wants his name on everything including his daughter’s panties, but doesn’t this seem a bit hypocritical?
Besides, I don’t really want Trump supporters to wear masks. The quicker they start dying out, the sooner this lunacy can end. Don’t read that and think I want anyone to die, I merely want them to have the freedom of choice to let nature take its course, that’s all. I mean, they’re all about their freedom, right?
If nothing else, wearing one of those stupid masks would hide their ugly faces and bad breath. Not to mention cover their spittle when they’re yelling at us to go back to our country of origin. At least wearing those shitty masks would make it easy for the doctors and nurses to avoid making their care a priority. I know they take an oath to do no harm, but there’s nothing that says they can’t prolong the agony.
Did you honestly believe that Trump wouldn’t find a way to make money off this pandemic? He wasn’t going to let Alex Jones and Jim Bakker cut into his action. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mike Pence was getting ready to sell his own brand of anal lube. I can just picture Lindsey Graham in the advertisement holding up a tube with a tagline that says “Mikey likes it!”
Trump’s campaign manager, Brad Parscale, says that the KAG masks aren’t for sale so much as given away in exchange for a small donation, but where’s the distinction? Either way, you’re paying for it, much like Trump and his wife.
Trump really doesn’t care about the health of his supporters, his campaign’s only reason for making the masks is to bring back his older supporters who have been abandoning him for Joe Biden. But here’s the thing- while Trump’s masks are only offering scant protection, If Biden wins, he’ll be offering America greater protection- no more Donald fucking Trump. And I’ll take that over a mask made of golden silk any day of the week.
So yeah, going out in public wearing a mask sucks, but until we either have a vaccine or better yet, a new President, to quote Donald “Duck” Dunne in THE BLUES BROTHERS, “If the shit fits, wear it!”
In case you missed it: Let’s Talk About the Coronavirus Conundrum
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I just got back from grocery shopping, and almost everyone was masked. I didn’t see any MAGA masks, just as I’ve only seen one MAGA hat, ever, other than pictures and on TV. People are embarrassed to wear them in public. I did think about this article today, right as I was buying milk. Weird.
But how often has trump actually gone out into the public and gotten within ten feet of another person?
I’ve seen him out. Just the other day he was meeting with veterans. They were originally keeping their distance, and then a WH aide came and shoved them all together so Trump could walk down the line like he was inspecting the troops.
I passed a man in the grocery store yesterday wearing one of those stupid masks. I couldn’t help but laugh, and he couldn’t help but glare.
You have to give it to Trump. He never misses a trick to get his name out there. Biden could take a few lessons.
I have to agree with Mike. Trump is a showman if nothing else, and there is nothing else, but people always like a good circus.