Trump Coronafest 2020: Just Like Jonestown, Only Stupider
Read Time:4 Minute, 51 Second
Harry Truman once said of the Presidency, “The buck stops here!” That’s a sharp contrast to our current President, Donald J. Trump, who proudly proclaimed, “I take no responsibility!” as the coronavirus pandemic began to ravage the United States three months ago.
We currently stand at 2 million infected and 121,000 people dead, and according to Trump and his confederacy of dunces, that’s a success. For whom, I wonder? Us or the virus? DJT hasn’t had a whole lot to crow about lately, what with the virus, massive unemployment, protests over racial discrimination, and an economy going down the toilet. All in the middle of an election year, no less. I almost feel bad for the guy.
Not.
With the pandemic keeping him at home and so many people drowning him in buckets of reality, Trump has decided that he needs to have his ego stroked and decided to throw another of his “Look at me, mommy! Aren’t I pretty?” parties, on the anniversary weekend of Juneteenth, the day the slaves were freed, and in Tulsa, where there was a massacre of 300 black people. Now it looks as though Tulsa is being primed to play host to yet another massacre.
The only real difference is that the victims are going to be primarily white people and probably won’t end with a death toll of 300. But hey, at least the blacks who were murdered weren’t stupid enough to go voluntarily.
Trump has been screaming at everyone that we’ve put the pandemic behind us as if we were New Zealand, so he feels as though it’s safe to resume his redneck circle jerk, but he’s dead wrong. Donnie has been saying it’s safe due to the fact that people have been protesting without getting sick, but he’s ignoring some facts, such as, A: People have been infected, B: If the infection rate is low, it’s because most people were smart enough to wear masks, and C: Protested OUTSIDE.
Trump and his campaign staff, who collectively couldn’t outwit a head of lettuce, don’t seem to realize that they’ve created a giant petri dish. Let me explain using small words for any Trump supporters reading this- when you pack a bunch of idiots like sardines in an enclosed space with recirculated air and mix it with a highly contagious virus, you know what you get?
A breeding ground for a coronavirus frappe.
All I can say is, Darwin is probably so giddy in his grave that he’s probably ejaculating dust like a leafblower. But you know what? They’re taking temperatures and passing out masks and hand sanitizer, though using them isn’t a requirement. I’m sure it’ll be fine.
But while War, Famine, and Death are out there riding on their horses, helping to bring about the apocalypse, Pestilence is sitting at a bar somewhere, nursing a beer, depressed and muttering, “Fucking Trump!”
In keeping with his “I take no responsibility” mantra, the Trump campaign has made it a condition that everyone who gets tickets for the event must also sign a waiver that absolves Trump, the White House, the BOK arena, and the city of Tulsa of any responsibility if anyone comes down with a raging case of COVID-19. I think it should’ve included a waiver for medical treatment in case of infection so that the hospitals won’t have to waste time and resources on treating the Walking Brain Dead.
You know, for a guy who has five kids from three different women, I find it surprising that I’m writing about a clown who loves dodging responsibility as much as he does. Here’s a conspiracy theory for you- may be the reason Trump wants to bang his daughter so badly is because she isn’t really his. Think about it- even with all the plastic surgery, Ivanka doesn’t really look like her father, unlike the rest of his spawn. Poor bastards. I’d bet you my entire comic book collection that if Ivanka took a blood test, Donnie wouldn’t be the father. But then, who is? Who was the doorman at Trump Tower around that time? Maybe I should put the QAnon people on it, you think?
If I were Trump, (and thank the good Lord above that I’m not,) I would reverse course on the whole vote by mail issue because at the rate he’s killing and incapacitating his base, most of them won’t be making it to the voting booth in November. I’m pretty sure he still won’t win, (without cheating, which he totally will,) but the least he could do is make it easier for his legion of morons to waste their vote on him.
At current writing, six of Trump’s advance team have already come down with the virus, and who knows how many people they’ve infected by now, or how many will be infected by the end of the day? Face it, this rally was a totally bad idea. But then again, what do you expect from a guy who went bankrupt six times?
At the end of the day, I don’t want anyone to get sick or die, but let’s be honest- have you seen some of Trump’s supporters? I’ve seen healthier looking people at the bowling alley on free nacho night!
Seriously, if you were at the rally and you think God will protect you from the virus, clearly, you’ve never heard the phrase, “God helps those who help themselves.”
And folks, you ain’t helping. You’re the problem. But on the upside, maybe not for much longer.
I hope you had fun!
UPDATE: There were a lot of empty seats at the rally. I guess Trump will be crying in his diet Coke and bucket of fried chicken on the flight home tonight!
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Couldn’t have said it better Man great read Greg!
It is all fine and good the people going to his rallies sign those forms but what about the people those morons come in contact with after the fact, we never asked to be exposed to that at all so why should we suffer. He cannot force the rest of us to not sue his ass. Someone should be a test case if they catch this due to stupidity of one of his rally goers.
Mike, all those toothless okies must have decided it was a good day to air out the trailer.
I’m not hoping for the worst. That already happened in November 2016.
No Greg. The worst would be if he got re elect. That may reignight my thoughts about moving to Equador.
The press interviewed a redshirt clad Trumper who said the only way she wouldn’t vote for Trump was if he cheated on Melania. I guess she didn’t follow the news.
An eclectic collection of fools indeed. It was no end of fun watching their inane antics.
I saw those Trump supporters and listened to those interviewed before going in. Many were toothless and shaggy, and almost all spoke with a southern drawl. What’s up with that?
We can only hope for the worse Greg,