Maybe Donald Trump Is the Real American

by Joe Hagstrom

I’ve often mused over the topic of American. What makes a real American? Is it a John Wayne type character? A self-made man who has no use for liars? That’s what we’d like to think anyway. Unless the lie is what we want to hear anyway.

George Washington, the Father of our Country, was famous for his honesty. We all know the story of his chopping down the cherry tree then confessing the deed to his father because he could not tell a lie. Of course, that story is a complete lie. But it’s what we want to hear.

We love to proclaim our Nation was founded on Judeo/Christian principles. Even pretty much all the Founders totally supported the strict separation of church and state. Thomas Jefferson constantly warned of the danger of priests running the country. John Adams, a devoutly religious Founder who said the best thing you can do for your family was to give them religion said the founding of our Nation had nothing to do with the Christian religion. But Christians are a big voting bloc so far better to lie to them about our founding and keep their votes in the fold.

Andrew Jackson: Old Hickory. A man’s man. Great general. The last president to actually leave us debt-free. A man of integrity. Of course, he ignored any treaties we had with the Indians and sent them packing to Oklahoma. Told the Supreme Court to piss off over it. Okay, maybe his telling the Supreme Court to piss off is a lie, but knowing President Jackson’s notorious use of foul language perhaps there’s a little truth to it. If not, so what. Americans don’t mind being lied to if the lies validate what we want to think. And we put pictures of Indians on coins now and then so at least they got something.

Samuel Adams was a great American. Great rabble-rouser. Also, a lousy businessman who struggled with record keeping and keeping his finances separate from the finances he was in charge of. At one time he owed around $7,000 to taxpayers because he couldn’t account for where it went. Rich guy and fellow Founding Father, John Hancock, bailed him out of that mess.

A lot of rich guys helped fund the Revolution. One of them, I think it was Robert Morris was called upon by George Washington to give 10 grand to keep the army afloat. Mr. Morris came up with the money and the Revolution continued. But it’s good policy to vilify rich guys so let’s tax the hell out of them. Maybe the truth is there are some good rich people and some good poor people much to the chagrin of the left and right.

Moving on a hundred years, William Randolph Hearst used his newspapers to goad us into a war with Spain. Teddy Roosevelt led the charge up San Jun Hill. Teddy had balls. So even though the war was kind of based on crap we got a hero so bully to Mr. Hearst.

Franklin Roosevelt spent his presidency trying to hide his polio. The press helped. Can’t complain about that lie as FDR was a great president. My Dad, the Commander always said he was his favorite president. And why not. He led us through a world war and great depression and delivered Social Security which has made life far better for millions of Americans. The right called it socialism. Maybe it is but it’s good socialism. Unless one is a Republican anyway even though none of us Republicans are giving our checks back and proclaiming our patriotism. It is funny how we Republicans feign ignorance when reminded that Ronald Reagan said Social Security was the greatest government program ever devised.

We also feign ignorance when reminded about Trump’s Access Hollywood tape where he said “moved like a bitch” and “grab them by the {naughty bit}. We do like feigning ignorance when confronted with the truth. A tenet of republican policy. Then we crow that we defeated a liberal.

The Gulf of Tonkin thing leading to the Vietnam War was a great lie. The release of the Pentagon Papers exposed great lies. In the end, it didn’t matter. Better to proclaim America is the greatest and we’re exceptional. Kind of proves my point here that Nixon, a grand liar, Oscar Wilde would have been proud, was impeached not for lying but for the break-in at Watergate. Had he lied and said he knew nothing about it and the tapes were fake news he probably would have finished his second term.

Bill Clinton was impeached for lying but got away with it. Got some action also. He’s looked upon as a great president. His approval ratings are in the 60 percent range.

George Bush and Cheney lied like hell all the time. Got the honest yet deluded General Powell to lie to the United Nations about Saddam’s nonexistent nuclear weapons. Got us into never-ending occupations that we will be paying for until Trump finds a way to declare bankruptcy for the United States. So much for the full faith and credit of the United States. That’s going to end up a lie if Trump has his way.

All this lying lead us to President Trump. The greatest liar of them all. But around 45% of Americans want desperately to believe his lies. We don’t care if he read the Bible. Most of us haven’t either. It’s a lot of words. We just make a show of bowing our heads and voting for whomever Pat Robertson or the good Reverend Falwell tell us to. Think of all the babies we’re saving. How they end up isn’t our concern.

Trump gave us a tax cut. He said his tax plan would kill him. He later went to spend the weekend after the tax cut was passed at Mar a Largo where he told the members he just gave them all a big pay raise. But I got about $7 a paycheck so Trump is great. I got a country with twice as much debt as when Mr. Trump took office but he said it would be easy to balance the budget and that’s the lie I wanted to hear so yay Trump.

The polls are not in Trump’s favor at the time of this writing. They say Trump will double down on lies. I hope he does. Good old boys all over the country are at gas stations right now buying pills that promise to make their weenies bigger. Trump could tell them if they vote for him their weenies will grow bigly and they can be like him.

Vote for the big dick. Vote Trump. And may God bless America.

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