- CRITTER TALK and OTHER GOOD STUFF
There are hundreds of Christian sects and they all think their beliefs are what will get them into Heaven. Everyone else is going to burn in hell. It’s scary to think a follower of The Prince of Peace rejoices at the thought of somebody roasting for eternity.
Where Trump is bigger is there is no confusion among his followers. They love and worship Trump without all the confusing blather in a 1,500-page book. Trump is what they want him to be and he embraces their stupidity. Like Jesus followers though, Trumpists think non Trumpists will burn in hell as well so we can call that point even.
We like making fun of the ignorance of Trumpists. The 10,000 that invaded the capital may seem like a tiny number compared to those who were martyred for Christ, but hell, I think only one Trumpist was killed during the attack while thousands or more people suffered, if you’re a Christian, a glorious, death through their martyrdom. So I give the edge to Trump seeing as how he only lost one misguided fool. I give this one to Trump also. He’s a far better businessman than Jesus.
If rumors are to be believed Jesus only had one girlfriend. Mary Magdeline. A fallen woman some say. Trump has had three wives and multiple sex partners. Some were willing I guess and I assume he had some good ones. In this day and age of wanton debauchery, we must give this round to Trump as well.
Jesus said, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Trump said it is what it is. A far more comforting phrase when dealing with guilt. Trump wins again.
Jesus said “Love God above all else.” Trump loves kooks that try to overthrow the government and demand the hanging of his vice president above all else except for himself. There are nuts that still fly Trump flags on their trucks and have his signs in their yards. They love Trump above all else. If Comey would have declared his love he’d still be FBI director.
Trump has this round also. He doesn’t demand obedience to the Ten Commandments. Especially the one about lying. I know what number it is but Trump sure doesn’t. And he doesn’t care if anyone knows what number is what sin. All the more reason to love Trump unconditionally. Trump wins this round with ease.
The final nail in Jesus’ coffin when it comes to who’s bigger is the question of faith. It takes faith to believe in Jesus and his divinity. Turn on the television and you’ll either see Trump or hear about him and what he said.
There are no atheists when it comes to Trump. He’s here. He controls the hearts and minds, thanks to the miracle of gerrymandering of millions of people that controlled the government of the most powerful nation that has ever existed. He still controls the judicial branch today. There is only one Trump. Go to ten different churches and you will find ten different versions of Jesus. In the end, there’s only one Trump. The fat guy wins.