Crazy Louie Gohmert: Climate Action Would Force Us To Brush Our Teeth With Bark
How the hell did Republican Louie Gohmert of Texas ever become a member of the House of Representatives? Did he collect the most Froot Loops box tops in his district? Did our reptilian alien overlords take a sudden liking to him halfway through eating his brain? Did he run against a seagull crapping in a bag of Ruffles?
I really want to know, because something here just isn’t right. God forbid he ever needs a brain transplant because krill don’t live very long outside of water. I’d suggest he get a vasectomy to protect us from the creeping contagion of his corn nuts, but his doctor would almost certainly give him one of those acrylic head cones to keep him from licking his stitches, and you simply can’t brook such lurid spectacles on the House floor.
So instead you get this (click the twitter pic):
GOHMERT: “We can’t produce synthetic fibers, so much of the carpets and rugs we have—synthetic. The toothbrush, you wouldn’t have the modern-day toothbrush, and I realize that, yes, there are people that have used bark off certain trees to brush their teeth. I get that, but I kind of like having a modern-day toothbrush myself. You wouldn’t have that without fossil fuel, particularly natural gas.”
Okay, then. I have questions.
- Who the fuck is brushing their teeth with bark?
- Assuming this is actually happening somewhere in the real world, doesn’t that argue for the family-friendly social safety net provisions in President Biden’s Build Back Better plan? Hey, Biden might even want to lead with that during his next speech in support of the BBB. “Americans brushing their teeth with trees? Outrageous! Pass this bill!”
Oh, but Mr. Science wasn’t done. Oh, no. Not by a long shot:
GOHMERT: “The Trump years, we have been producing 1.3% less carbon dioxide. And we can debate about what that does to the environment, whether it makes the temperature warmer. I’ve read where experts have said if you’ve got a choice between the temperature getting slightly warmer or slightly colder, you want warmer because if it’s getting slightly colder that means there’s less time for crops to grow. If it’s slightly warmer, not too much warmer, then you got more time for crops to grow, you’ve got more food, and you have fewer people starving.”
He’s read that, huh? Where? The highly respected New England Journal of Things Pulled From Louie Gohmert’s Ass at 3 AM on a Tuesday in the Waco ER?
If you want to convince someone to support measures to combat climate change—well, yes, you can tell them about melting icecaps and emaciated polar bears and whatnot, but perhaps the best argument in favor of urgent action is that Louie Gohmert is against it.
Clearly, Republicans are not sending their best people, now are they?
Reprinted with permission of Daily Kos.
His constituents must be the dumbest people on earth.
I agree, and the same goes for all those idiots like Greene, Boebert, and etc. The people who put them there are like-minded or they wouldn’t be there.
Oh yes, Gohmert Pile. No surprise. One wonders how much petroleum it takes to keep the world’s teeth clean and bright. It’s just a guess but I’m guessing the percentage of all that’s produced is pretty small and a process is under development for making polyesters independently of crude oil, since it uses ethylene as its feedstock. But I wish this man’s gross lack of general knowledge weren’t so common in government (or in the genpop.)
Some of them have these nice degrees from nice schools, but don’t really know very much at all, having lived without any necessity of knowing what a 4 year old knows.
We seem to be very upset about standardized tests in schools, but couldn’t we please have some kind of general knowledge test for congressmen. Even Disneyland has requirements to get on rides.
I’m not certain they even give general knowledge tests in schools, because more often than not, they don’t teach general knowledge unless you are lucky enough to be in one of those super-expensive private schools.