Why Fidel Castro Is My Kinda Guy

by Neil Bamforth

I’ve been reading a sort of autobiography of Fidel Castro. I say a ‘sort of’ autobiography mainly because, as far as I know, he never wrote one. What he did do however, is carry out a bloody long interview with some Cuban bloke called Ignacio Ramonet. Well he sounds pretty Cuban to me anyway. Ignacio then turned this mega interview into a sort of biography which, as it was directly from Castro’s mouth, could be looked at as a sort of autobiography.

I admit I somewhat snoozed my way through his early years. Well? If you’ve ever read the late great British actor David Niven’s autobiography ‘The Moons A Balloon’ it sort of spoils anyone elses as it’s just too good to be true – and indeed, to some extent it wasn’t but it was and remains a bloody good read!

Anyway I sort of flicked back and forth as bits caught my attention but, as I’d skipped bits I had to go back to fathom out why the bit that caught my attention happened. Not the best way to read a book I admit but blame Niven!

Anyway. Castro actually quite liked JFK – which was a surprise. He blamed Nixon and ol’ Dwight for ‘The Bay Of Pigs’ fiasco. Apparently, on his election, JFK sort of inherited the plan and felt obliged to carry it on. Oops. He didn’t even seem that offended by the CIA’s frequent attempts to kill him. Many were so bizarre you just had to laugh.

A wet suit to go snorkelling was contaminated with various viruses.

Castro was bemused. Why would he put on a wet suit and go snorkelling when A) Cuba is too hot for wet suits and B) said wet suit was presented to him by some chap representing the American government who clearly wanted shot of him?

I don’t think this book is supposed to be funny – or perhaps it is and I’ve just identified the humour as being so dry as to be almost invisible but, to me, it is frequently hysterical.

Exploding cigars popped up now and again – I can only assume the CIA back then were into The Marx Brothers or something.

Various viruses popped up in an inexplicable way destroying tobacco crops and potato crops and so forth. Castro said he couldn’t prove it of course but, given the American governments determination to destroy his regime, he strongly suspected clandestine operations, American backed, to introduce such previously unknown viruses.

Che Guevara features prominently for a while – I had a poster, that classic beret one – on my bedroom wall aged about 15 or so.

Anyway. I would recommend this book, particularly if your sense of humour has the capacity for incredible dryness. Whether there is intent at very very dry humour or whether Castro should have been on stage at stand up open mic sessions or not I have no idea.

What did strike me though was that, whatever your view of Castro’s regime, he was a bloody determined individual and, ultimately, it has to be said, to a very large extent, he won.

The book is called ‘Fidel Castro – My Life’ – go read it.

By the way, I hadn’t realised, Castro wasn’t a communist at all. He was a socialist but, perhaps more than that, he was a pragmatist. I like him!

RIP Fidel. You were my kinda guy!

On the other hand – perhaps you weren’t. I was well hooked on his story until I arrived at a chapter where he claimed Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe was a strong and great leader.

Whaaaaat???

Er, hello Fidel old bean. Robert Mugabe? That Robert Mugabe? You know, the one who is President of Zimbabwe? Really? Strong and great? The guy who took over after the white supremacists – which was cool initially – and then drove the country into the ground and killed everyone and anyone who disagreed with him?

Sorry Fidel.

First twenty chapters you were my kinda guy.

Shame. I thought I liked you and then you Mugabed me. Wasn’t expecting that. Still. What do I know eh?

Happy

0 0 %

Sad

0 0 %

Excited

0 0 %

Sleepy

0 0 %

Angry

0 0 %

Surprise

0 0 %