Black Friday Flops In the UK

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There is a thing called ‘Black Friday’. It is an American ‘thing’ and it has something to do with shops and stores bringing in huge discounts on lots of things we probably don’t really want or need in order to tempt us into buying them and, as they are, supposedly, ridiculously cheap, we queue outside said stores in the small hours until the doors open. Then we barge past each other, kick each other out of the way and fight each other for the supposedly cheap items that we don’t really need or want but we must have even if it means beating an old lady over the head so she can’t get what ever it is before we do.

28189f3 — Americans rushing to get the big deals as the stores open at 4AM

It flopped. Black Friday totally and completely and comprehensively flopped – and thank God (or the deity of your choice) for that.

Black Friday is an American phenomenon that, like McDonalds and American Football, has been slowly eroding parts of Britain and turning Britain into a mini-USA.

Last year was the first time ‘Black Friday’ arrived over here and, frankly, the behaviour of people was disgraceful, disgusting and outrageous. Most shoppers deserved to be shot on sight.

Perhaps we have, finally, learned that all things American are not necessarily things that we want invading our decorum in Blighty.

The TV camera’s were at the ready to film quite disgusting behaviour as people punched each other to get hold of flat screen TV’s and computers and what ever the hell was supposedly ‘going cheap’.

Hysterically a TV channel filmed a store that thought it’s Christmas was coming early in sales. Several security guards manned the doors ready to try and separate the manic consumers and try and prevent serious injury. At the allotted ridiculously early hour of the morning the doors opened.

In walked a customer. Singular. Uno. One to the power of one. A lone lady shopper. Not another soul within a mile of her.

The security guards looked briefly bemused and then scuttled off camera in embarrassment.

I absolutely LOVED it.

At last! The Brit’s are starting to ‘get it’. Black Friday is for America not for us. We don’t behave in such a ridiculous way. If Americans want to then fine and dandy but keep it over there we don’t want it and, marvellously, the Brits treated the debacle in exactly the way it should be treated. By ignoring it.

I have no idea why it’s called ‘Black Friday’ and, frankly, I have no desire to know. If Americans want to make themselves look ridiculous on TV by trampling over each other to buy something they think they need for what they believe is half the price it should be then fine, crack on. I can watch the crazies in America and laugh as some old dear gets trampled to death in a mad stampede just leave it over there where it belongs ok?

The stores, mortified at the Brits realising it is all bullshit and staying away in droves have extended it to ‘Black Weekend’ in the hope that some forgot it was Friday and will stampede to their premises on Saturday or Sunday – I am delighted to report that hardly anyone did.

Black Friday is dead as a Dodo in Britain and it’s the least it deserves.

Now don’t think I’ve a problem with days being given names. ‘Manic Monday’ and ‘Ruby Tuesday’ were great songs but they didn’t cause people to behave like they had just contracted rabies.

Black Friday just bombed in Britain quicker than Britain will bomb Syria assuming we do.

It’s all yours America. You started it and we don’t want it. Why ‘Black Friday’? Dunno, don’t care. It’s gone from our shores and good bloody riddance.

About Post Author

Neil Bamforth

I am English first, British second and never ever European. I have supported Oldham Athletic FC for 50 years which has made me immune from depression. My taste buds have died due to too many red hot curries so I drink Kronenburg beer and milk - sometimes in the same glass. I have a wife, daughter, 9 cats and I like toast.

fourdinners14223647@aol.com